02
Sep

Machete Cast: Lindsay Is A Great Actress (Who’s Not Welcome at Our Premiere)

Robert Rodriguez’s Mexploitation flick, Machete, which features Lindsay Lohan as a submachine gun-toting nun, along with Hollywood ex-riffraff Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Steven Seagal, is set to hit theaters this Friday.

The premiere of the movie took place last Wednesday, a day after Lindsay’s release from rehab. Linds was a no-show at the event, ostensibly because she wanted to focus on staying sober and didn’t feel like attending something so “splashy” was the best way for her to mark her first night out of rehab.

Of course, there’s no reason she couldn’t have attended the event — it would have helped bolster all that talk about her serious acting career — and stayed sober, but maybe that’s asking too much.

Without Lindsay’s media circus of sobriety (or lack thereof) to sully the scene at the premiere, the Machete cast went out of their way to rave about her mad acting skills:

“She was awesome,” Machete director Robert Rodriguez told HollywoodLife.com exclusively. “She’s so great in the movie. She has a great character and a great twist. … It will really surprise people.”

And although he was bummed Lindsay didn’t attend the premiere, Robert told us he wouldn’t be sending Lindsay a screener of the movie to watch at home.

“I want her to see it with an audience,” he told us. “The people are really going to like it.” . . . .

The movie’s star [Danny Trejo] told us she was a “a pro” and that her only real fault in life is getting caught breaking the law:“She’s got a personal life, and we all have one — the only problem is her personal life is with a camera on her all the time,” he pointed out. “A lot of people do what she does, they just don’t get caught.”

But now, reports US Weekly, skipping the premiere may not have been Lindsay’s idea after all:

Continue reading ‘Machete Cast: Lindsay Is A Great Actress (Who’s Not Welcome at Our Premiere)’

02
Sep

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty Is a Sex-Ed Hypocrite

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty didn’t hold back on the sanctimony when he turned down the opportunity to receive a no-strings-attached $850,000 government grant to fund Minnesotan teen-pregnancy prevention, which included information about safe sex as well as abstinence. Yesterday on On the Record with Greta Van Susteren, he took a hard-nosed approach to such federal freebies:

“(The) federal government’s acting increasingly like a financial drug dealer, handing out tastes or free samples, trying to get people addicted, further addicted. And we’ve just had it and we’re not taking the bait anymore. We’re not taking the free samples anymore. This is an executive order that says we’re sending them a strong message.”

But he had no such qualms about accepting a $500,000 federal grant — which requires $379,000 in matching funds from Minnesota state coffers — to be used solely for abstinence-only education, as reported by the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Continue reading ‘Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty Is a Sex-Ed Hypocrite’

02
Sep

Pam Anderson Quits Bikinis, Working to Focus on PETA

Because evidently she can’t write, Pamela Anderson dictated an opinion piece to a reporter for the Vancouver Sun about how her career now is less about posing in bikinis and more about saving animals:

I was in a butcher-block ad that said, “All animals have the same parts.” (Montreal) looked at it (as sexist) because I was in a bikini. That was really funny, because I know Montreal is known for its exotic dancing and Canada is known for its progressive attitude. I don’t know what the real issues were.

I wrote to the owner of the restaurant (where PETA launched the ad) to ask him to remove foie gras from the menu and he said, “No, forget it.” They stick tubes down the goose’s neck and they force-feed them. It’s horrible. If people could see what animals go through before it gets to their plate with a flower on it, they wouldn’t eat it. …

I feel that, at this point in my career, I don’t want to do another television show. I don’t want to do a film. I’m really enjoying what I do now. I have two homes in Malibu, a home in Canada that I’m building, and I just love pouring my heart out into this part of my life. Being halfway through my life, I think we start feeling less invincible and we start thinking more about the important things. I’ve always been involved and now I feel like this is where I should be headed, more so than wearing bikinis.

Who knew Pammie still had acting opportunities worth quitting?

But more surprising is that PETA and Pam chose a restaurant that serves foie gras in the first place to host the launch of the anti-meat billboard in question. They couldn’t have found a vegetarian joint in all of Montreal? But maybe I shouldn’t be so shocked, given that she also put pork, tuna, lobster, and cod on the menu at her most recent wedding reception celebrating her short-lived marriage to Rick Salomon in 2007.

And not to grind salt into her wounds, but those “two homes in Malibu”? One is a double-wide in a trailer park that she was forced to move into because she owes $3 million to the contractors working on her Malibu beach house. So I hope for her sake that PETA is paying her bills these days. How else is she supposed to pay off her platinum-tiled pool?

01
Sep

A Lohan Won’t Change Its Stripes

When Lindsay Lohan’s pre-jail interview with Vanity Fair came out earlier this week, I was tempted to comment. But I restrained myself. Nearly everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth is self-aggrandizing nonsense, and it felt too, well, easy.

What can I say, sometimes we’re hunting tigers, and sometimes it’s just like shooting zebra fish in a barrel.

From Vanity Fair:

I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies. And if that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It’s not fun anyway. I don’t care. It’s the same thing every time.

Which would, of course, explain why she’s been spotted at Chateau Marmont exactly three times since she got out of rehab a week ago.

She was even pulled over once en-route for running a red light. (In her Maserati, of course, which she occasionally remembers to fill up with gas.)

No, no fun to be had there. She’s just in a rush to get to the hot hangout spot all the serious actors go to conduct business and drink milk.

Shouldn’t be long now, folks. I’d say we’re due for a headline about LiLo getting arrested again for possession or drunk driving in three, two, one . . .

01
Sep

Bristol Palin: My Dancing Will Set ‘Good Example’ for Working Moms

With ABC confirming the Season 11 cast of Dancing With the Stars, Bristol Palin is going the route that so many other single, teenage moms have gone before her: dancing to put food on the table. Or as she puts it:

“I’m not the first mom to participate on Dancing with the Stars…and like those who came before me, I want to set a good example for all of the amazing moms out there,” the 19-year-old told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
“Yes, we can balance work and family, and we can also take on a new and exciting challenge.” …
“I’m excited! It feels great to step outside of my comfort zone and take on a new challenge,” she told RadarOnline.com. “Ultimately, I look forward most to getting in the studio and working hard. I’m in good hands.”

So naturally she’s uprooting her toddler and moving him to Hollywood, that den of iniquity that mocks family values and unfairly targets the Palins. Makes perfect sense why she would want to go on a TV dance competition on behalf of working moms everywhere to brave public scrutiny. Because it worked so well for Kate Gosselin.

01
Sep

Playboy Model Sure Hopes No One Watches Her Sex Tape With Heidi Montag

Playboy model Karissa Shannon has a curious understanding of “things that I don’t want to come out,” as evidenced by her faux-outraged tittering about a sex tape featuring her and still-married Heidi Montag:

Karissa confirmed to RadarOnline.com, “there is a sex tape of me and Heidi,” emphasizing that Spencer was not present when they shot it. “It’s just me and Heidi, that’s it,” she said.
For more than a week, Spencer has been taunting the media and his estranged wife Heidi, threatening to release the tape.
But According to Karissa, Spencer doesn’t even own the tape, and she tells RadarOnline.com that he stole her video camera containing the footage.
“Me and Heidi were hanging out at her house in Malibu and he came over to pick up some stuff and he ‘accidentally’ took my camera,” Karissa told RadarOnline.com. “I talk to Heidi every single day and I tried to be there for her when she was going through her divorce, but now it’s starting to affect my life. Spencer had no right to steal my camera. There are other things on there that I don’t want to come out, including the video of me and Heidi.”
Karissa told RadarOnline.com that she has no plans to promote the tape and doesn’t “want people to see it.”

Yeah, it really sounds like she’s hoping no one finds out about it. Because that road might lead to money and television shows and Kardashian-style fame, and Karissa Shannon is way too classy for that.

Heidi, though? Well, let’s just say this is precisely the speed of the “modern version of Mother Teresa.” It’s what Jesus would do.

31
Aug

Skinny Supermodel Saddened By Skinny Supermodel Wannabes

Israeli supermodel and on-again, off-again girlfriend of Leonardo DeCaprio, Bar Refaeli took to Twitter yesterday to bemoan the sad state of super-skinny wannabe supermodels:

I get so sad when I see 15-year-old pale extremely skinny models at the agency looking all shaky and hungry…. when will it end?!?!? [Ed. She’s not kidding either. Take a look at the “Lil Ones” page at the ONE Management site and prepare to be disturbed.]

Yes, it is sad. No one likes to see 15-year-olds looking hungry, skinny, shaky and pale.

It’s much better if they look skinny, hungry and tanned. Like Bar. Because you know that’s who all these kids are looking up to and wanting to look like. Either her or Gisele, Kate Moss, Alessandra Ambrosio, etc., etc., etc.

Now, I’ll admit that Bar actually has one of the most naturally beautiful bodies I’ve seen in a long time. She generally looks healthy to me and has gone on record before as being against extreme forms of dieting or exercise. She’s clearly got good genes, and good for her.

Sure, I’m glad she feels a twinge of remorse at the long lines of shaky, anorexic teenagers lined up outside her own modeling agency ready to trade their next (several) meals for the chance to be as big a star as Bar herself.

And it’s not that I expect Bar to go out and pack on 15 pounds – she may be perfectly healthy just as she is. But the answer to her somewhat rhetorical tweet is quite clear: “it,” i.e. the hiring and admiring of the ultra-thin, will end when, and only when, the fashion industry as a whole stops regarding bodies like Bar’s as the one and only standard of beauty.

Surely Bar must know this. If she really wants it to end, she’ll stop tweeting about it and say something to ONE Management, Sports Illustrated and all of the other agencies or magazines who feature exclusively rail-thin beauties on their pages.

Until then, giving such superficial lip-service (tweet-service?) to the subject seems glib at best, and at worst a real disservice to those within the industry who are actually fighting for (and not just talking about) change.

31
Aug

Al Gore Is Against Censorship Approximately $397,000 Worth

“Mr. Laffs” to his friends, two-time world champion Beer Pong player, and all around Deceiver favorite Al Gore was very, very upset about censorship, and the  lack of access available to the news media a couple of months back when the nearly world ending catastrophe to end all catastrophes known as “The Spill”, was taking place.

As he blogged on his little corner of the internet:

“A pilot wanted to take a photographer from The Times-Picayune of New Orleans to snap photographs of the oil slicks blackening the water. The response from a BP contractor who answered the phone late last month at the command center was swift and absolute: Permission denied.”

This behavior is completely unacceptable. Access by reporters should be as unfettered as possible. This de facto form of censorship needs to stop.

He’s right. There were some censorshipy type things happening. And fearing the wrath of Al, I guess no one would try to pull that again.

But then again, what’s $397,000 between friends for Al Gore to consent to giving a censored speech in Mexico?

…what’s “completely unacceptable” for the former vice president in the Gulf of Mexico apparently is just fine for Mexico itself, as only 300 elite invitees of the state government were permitted into Gore’s speech, of which only the first five minutes – during which Gore personally thanked and praised Governor Peña Nieto’s “leadership” – were fed to reporters on closed circuit TV.

Just five minutes? That doesn’t sound like very much. I’m just going to  speculate that the rest of the speech talked about the Freemasons, and the Bilderberg’s plans to take over the world. (It’s happening people!)

And be smart: The next time someone offers you money to do something in Mexico, be careful. I’m not sure I can show my face there again.

31
Aug

Obama: Get to Da Choppa!

Remember this from our Dear Leader?

Barack Obama today: “We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times … and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK,”

So what’s the deal with a six mile helicopter ride, Mr. President? That’s the 300th helicopter ride in 197 days, by the way. He has his reasons:

Spokesman Bill Burton said, “Probably because it’s an easier than a motorcade through the city in the middle of the day.”

You don’t say? I did a little math. Marine One is a Sikorsky SH-3 Sea King. It has a range of 542 nautical miles and a crew of four.  Therefore 542/pi+5X-1/5y = a terrible waste of fuel. At least that’s what I came up with.

I know it’s the president, and it’s probably never easy for the guy to get around, but six miles? Now if you’re gonna complain that I’m picking on the guy, you’re gonna have to speak up. It’s like 154 in the shade right now, and I have my A/C crankin’ at 65 degrees and that thing makes an awful racket.

30
Aug

Paris Hilton Has Great Hair, No Remorse in Latest Drug Arrest

I don’t want to bore you guys with the most obvious Deceiver post ever, but I feel we need to mark the occasion of Paris Hilton’s third drug arrest this summer somehow. The first two were for pot and in South Africa and France, but getting busted for coke in Las Vegas is a whole ‘nother 8-ball of wax.

For good measure, here’s what she had to say to Larry King after she served her time for driving drunk in 2007:

KING: Have you ever been addicted to drugs?

HILTON: No.

KING: Taken drugs.

HILTON: No.

KING: Never taken drugs?

HILTON: No. … I realized that there’s a lot more important things in my life. And there’s a lot more things to do. And I’m frankly sick of it. You know, I’ve been going out for a long time now. And yes, it’s fun, but it’s not going to be the mainstay of my life anymore. … I’ve definitely matured and grown a lot from this experience, so I just — I don’t know, I just want to be — I’m 26 years old. I’m an adult, and I am — I have to just grow up and to be a more responsible — a role model, because I’ve gotten a lot of letters from mothers and their daughters. I want to be a good role model for these girls.

For the record, she turns 30 in February, which officially makes her too old for this to be remotely cute anymore. But does it count as hypocrisy if no one bought that load of horse shiz in the first place?

Pick your favorite Paris Hilton (s)mug shot after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Paris Hilton Has Great Hair, No Remorse in Latest Drug Arrest’




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