Gossip BlogAds Network Bargain BlogAds Network
Deceiver MadnessAnimal FilesPretenPol
08
Feb

Jessica Alba Horrified at Superfan’s Plastic Surgery Request

Jessica Alba’s biggest fan in the world is set to undergo (pro bono!) plastic surgery in China to make her look more like the starlet so she can win back her ex-boyfriend, who is similarly obsessed with Jessica Alba.

To her credit, Jessica was freaked by the news, offering this consolation:

“I think you should never have to change yourself like that,” actress Alba said. “If somebody loves you, they’ll love you no matter what.”

A noble sentiment, but a marked departure from Jessica Alba’s previous stand on plastic surgery. First off, here’s what she had to say about nipping and tucking in 2007:

“As an actress, you express emotion with your face and if you have plastic surgery, you lose that spark.”

I’m interrupting this quote to say that I’ve never before noticed that Jessica Alba acts with her face. Um, anyway:

“I’m not going to say never for sure, though,” she told Elle Magazine in a recent interview.

The Fantastic Four starlet says that she may have work done if she has excess wear on her tummy as a result of pregnancy.  “I don’t know if, for example, having babies will stretch my stomach beyond what is acceptable,” she said.

Because if you bear someone’s child, they won’t love you anymore unless you have an “acceptable” stomach? Sad.

And second, in my inexpert opinion, those are not her original boobs. They can’t be, right?

Postscript to Jessica Alba’s biggest fan: Heidi Montag tells People “I’m not in a great place right now” but also “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life” following her buttload of plastic surgeries in November. Food for thought — sometimes this stuff turns you into a crazy person.

08
Feb

The Who’s Left Performs During Super Bowl XLIV Halftime

Written by Pete Townshend in 1965 at the age of 20:

People try to put us d-down (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)

Pete Townshend in 2010 at the age of old:

Talkin’ ’bout you’re geriatric.

08
Feb

Sexy, Stylish Media Queens Tackle Body Image “Double Standard”

Okay, Ellen DeGeneres isn’t exactly Pamela Anderson. And Katie Couric is no Kathie Lee Gifford. But I gotta say, it still rings a little hollow when these two broadcasting divas get on that old “sexist culture” soapbox.

I won’t lie, though. I completely agree with what DeGeneres said when she told Couric in a recent CBS web-only interview:

“It’s a double standard” when it comes to women and body image.

“There are men with really beautiful women that don’t have great bodies,” she said. “Yet nobody is saying anything about that.” [Ed: Except Pasta.]

“It’s not fair,” Ellen added. “The way that magazines airbrush everything, women are looking at bodies like that going, ‘my stomach doesn’t look like that. I’m supposed to look like that?’ So they starve themselves and they work out like crazy . . . We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is, and what health is.”

True. Buuuuut …

In their own small ways, couldn’t both DeGeneres and Couric be seen as just a teensy bit complicit in perpetuating women’s unhealthy obsession with body image? Perhaps, as NewsBusters’ Candance Moore notes:

. . . the reason for [women's obsession with body image] is not because of domineering men. Maybe girls feel pressure to look better because their Idols like Ellen DeGeneres tell them to.

Hmmm. Let’s see if Ellen can explain to her fans how her decision to become a CoverGirl spokeswoman (complete with airbrushed photos) fits in with that whole healthy body image thing. Isn’t trying to make a 52-year-old look like a 22-year-old kinda the same as airbrushing a little cellulite off a celeb’s thighs?

Or perhaps she would care to comment on what exactly it was that she found so attractive about the tall, leggy, and formerly anorexic Portia de Rossi? I’m sure it was her taste in books. Or movies. I mean, is it just me, or doesn’t the Better Off Ted blonde bombshell sort of epitomize our sexist society’s female ideal?

Oh, it’s just me? Oh, okay.

Continue reading ‘Sexy, Stylish Media Queens Tackle Body Image “Double Standard”’

05
Feb

Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change

Warning: If the mere sight of Dr. P already makes you want to vomit in your boots, I recommend not reading any further. No, really. This is disgusting stuff. Also disgustingly hilarious.

But seriously, fair warning.

Over the past several months (hell, days) Dr. Rajendra K. Pachauri has been working hard to secure his status as a bona fide international laughingstock by warning us about the not so rapidly melting Himalayan glaciers, using Climbing magazine and a student’s dissertation as “peer reviewed” sources for IPCC reports, and — Oh! — telling the Financial Times just yesterday that climate change skeptics:

are people who deny the link between smoking and cancer; they are people who say that asbestos is as good as talcum powder — I hope that they apply it (asbestos) to their faces every day.

Isn’t that sweet?

So in a brave move to salvage what’s left of his tarred and feathered, Mel Gibson-esque reputation, Pachauri thought it would be an awesome idea to release … wait for it … a smutty bodice-ripper novel. Based, oh-so-transparently, on his own life.

The Telegraph reports:

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, [Ed. -- Too late!] he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter . . .

“Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before . . . He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Continue reading ‘Pachauri Reveals the Softer, Smuttier Side of Climate Change’

05
Feb

Correction! It Isn’t Creepy. Or Weird.

Not at all.

Annie Dugourd of Oooh La La Couture (I can’t with that name) tells CNBC that Noah is not designing teddies for tykes or bras for babies. Annie went on to say, “It’s been devastating for our little company. We’re two stay-at-home moms who make tutu dresses. We would never do anything inappropriate.”

I’m man enough to admit that everywhere else I read this was wrong. Happy?

**cranks Ace of Spades, flips the bird, peels out**

05
Feb

Gun Enthusiasts Heidi and Spencer Now Totally Into Yoga

When I found this in my e-mail this morning, I didn’t know whether to be flattered or suspicious:

Heidi Montag followed suit a few hours later, so now my suspicions are confirmed: Heidi and Spencer are reading about themselves on Deceiver, y’all. (Trust me — it’s not because I’m wildly popular on Twitter, probably due to my penchant to only tweet about what I’m about to order at Starbucks. But to my nine followers: Love you guys.)

So anyway, it didn’t take long to find an angle to make this worth blogging about and add more content to their resume here. The Pratts seem to be on some kind of Kundalini yoga kick, with Spencer dropping new-age wisdom bombs like the following:

“The awakening of the inner Kundalini is the true beginning of the spiritual journey” Swami
1:16 AM Feb 3rd from Echofon

Ah, so true, young grasshopper. Which clearly does not explain this photo:

Continue reading ‘Gun Enthusiasts Heidi and Spencer Now Totally Into Yoga’

05
Feb

Tila Deletes Twitter Page, Starts New “Secret” One, Deletes THAT One — Aw @\?#!* It

Hey everybody! Look who’s back on Twitter! Did you miss her? Did ya? Did ya? Huh? Huh? Huh?

What?! You didn’t even know she’d left in the first place? What’s wrong with you?

After deleting her twitter account on Monday because she was sick of all the media attention (*cough*), Tila made it 4 whole days — yup, count ‘em, 1, 2, 3, 4… before starting a new, tippy-top secret “need to know only” site @TheRealTila. But shhhhhh! Don’t tell those mean ‘ol bloggers. ‘Cause they be hatin’!

On Thursday, Tila Tweeted:

Damn Twitter was f***ing BORING without me huh? I would be bored as hell if I were U and I wasn’t on twitter anymore! hahhaha jk xox.

And then:

Did ya;ll miss me?? I see all the OG’s here! YAY! No more filthy haters and Media peeps following! Secret page! xox

And of course:

Dont tell anyone I made a secret page ok?? Get the media & haters away from me! They like leeches!

But then, awww, you know what happened? Somehow her “secret” page leaked out to the media & haters. Could it have been, hang on… gimmie a second here… I can figure this out…. Oh yeah!

The public announcement on her blog?

Which she then deleted.

Lucky for us, Disgrasian got a screen shot before Tila got wise to how the haters were gettin’ wise.

Continue reading ‘Tila Deletes Twitter Page, Starts New “Secret” One, Deletes THAT One — Aw @\?#!* It’

04
Feb

Followup: It wasn’t Dragons After All!

You might think I’m following the Brittany Murphy story a little too closely, but no one ever complained about that back in the salad days of Simon Scowl and John Edwards. I’m just sayin’.

I was fascinated with the idea that a sexy, young Hollywood starlet type could fall for a schlubby, unkempt, unshaven type. Especially one who would defend her against the scurrilous, absolutely untrue allegations that her purse was a portable pharmacy.

Not me of course. I wear a monocle and top hat for breakfast. More for you, really.And my purse is a portable — well, never mind.

Admit it: some of you laughed when I suggested it might not have been a dragon attack that killed her.

Surprise!

The L.A. County coroner’s office says actress Brittany Murphy died of pneumonia complicated by an iron deficiency ( Ed.-I guess she never stood at the business end of my rifle), anemia and multiple drug intoxication.

Coroner officials said Murphy had gone into sudden cardiac arrest because of “drug intake,” and the Dec. 20 death was classified as an accident. They said an autopsy report would be available in two weeks.

It really is all very sad. But let this be a lesson to you. Next time some beefy, sexy, and unshaven Lothario offers you unconditional love if you’ll just let him have a credit card and your bank account number, don’t give it to him.

I wouldn’t. Not again.

04
Feb

Noah Cyrus is Roman Polanski-Approved!

Hooo Boy! Is that Roman Polanski joke played out yet? I sure hope not. Because, HAHA! Every time I hear it I laaaugh, and laaaugh.

Anyhoo… It appears that 9 is the new 32, as Miley’s kid sister is set to unveil her new lingerie line for little girls.

Yep. You read that right.

For kids.

Little Noah Cyrus will be teaming up with her best friend Emily Grace to launch a children’s lingerie collection for “Ohh! La, La! Couture.”

Holy crap! I hope it’s ready in time for Valentine’s Day! (I still have to do my shopping):

The company’s website describes The Emily Grace Collection as having a “trendy, sweet, yet edgy feel, reminiscent of Emily’s true personality. She is collaborating with Ooh! La, La! Couture designers to create versatile styles that can be worn with sweet ballerina slippers, funky sneakers or paired with lace stockings and boots for more of a rock and roll look. Emily’s collection will appeal not just to little girls – the line also has an exclusive Teen Collection available to a size 14.

I would hope against hope that lacy under-britches wouldn’t come in size 14 for anybody. But you try explaining that to your mom.

There was a video I was gonna link to, but — surprise, surprise — it comes up as “private.” Weird huh? I’d try to find it elsewhere but I’ll be lucky if I don’t have to clear this story with the judge as it is.

Oh, yeah. This is a blog about hypocrites, right? I’m going with Billy Ray Cyrus on this one. Just because.

04
Feb

Johnny Depp’s School Of Disembodied Politics

Like Johnny Depp, I am a big fan of beatific scoundrels. From the beat revelations of Jack Kerouac to Arthur Rimbaud’s visionary verse — these guys had something figured out. Oh yeah, and they were drunks, deadbeats and all-around a-holes.

But when I read Big Sur, I began to understand how (in very special circumstances) a man can be at once both depraved and utterly, utterly pure. Yeah, man…I can dig it.

Unlike Depp, however, I can not “dig” Che Guevara. And I have no kind words for Roman Polanski either. (Mad props for me?)

Kerouac and Rimbaud were morally repugnant in many ways, to be sure, but they stopped short of mass murder and child rape.

Depp, apparently, doesn’t discriminate.

On the cover of this month’s GQ magazine, Depp (evidently one of the “25 Most Stylish Men in the World” this year) can be seen — shirtless — proudly sporting his trademark Che pendant.

Never mind that even as Johnny flaunts his rebellious lifestyle on the pages of an American magazine, Venezuelan youth — many of whom must also view On The Road as their bible — are being bludgeoned into submission by Chavez’ police squads. All in the name of “Misión Che Guevara.”

Over at Big Journalism, Humberto Fontova explains that what might appear ironic — especially to all the counter-culture Hollywood douches who frequently sport Che’s likeness on their tees and pendants — is actually quite fitting:

Continue reading ‘Johnny Depp’s School Of Disembodied Politics’





February 2010
S M T W T F S
« Jan    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28  
Deceiver Atom Feed
Bookmark and Share
About Deceiver
CafePress
  • Recent Comments

    • Rocko: I think Heidi was crazy before the surgery Holly.
    • Rocko: Shannon Breem – Fox News Soledad...
    • Fortunate_Son: Geez, I just wish my significantother...
    • Owitzia: Nobody’s asking the really important...
    • Gary: The article suggests buying from Vermont Teddy...
    • T3: my question is why do we allow these corrupted...
    • Elle: What do you want to bet he didn’t check the...
    • Stan: I have Xiaoqing posters on my walls. I hope the...
    • Jaberkaty: Yeah, I can’t really fault her for...
    • StrawberryGirl: From the land that gave you “Kama...
  • people like you crave deceiver

    • "When it comes to rounding up John Edwards news and links, I can’t hope to compete with Deceiver."Mickey Kaus, Slate

    • "Thank you for your awesome posts. Deceiver is by far the best new blog I discovered this year."Yeeeah!

    • "I love you. This site is like Dlisted if MK read newspapers."  – reader Nanners

    • "Thank you for having the balls to cut through the spin and hype" – reader Kim Hee

    • "OH … MY … GOD … Can I come and work for you people?" – reader Spengman

    • "There must be some hardcore vegans running this site" – reader David

    • "It is nice to get intellectual about something that really has no bearing on anyone’s life"Normality Restored

    • "Another blog filled with the angry ramblings of the jealous and envious" – reader wfc123 at Metafilter

    • "Interesting that most of the hypocrisy comes from popular and attractive women" – reader Joey at Metafilter

    • "Our new guilty pleasure blog"BigHeadDC

    • "Love your site btw, i’m so through with all that nasty perez-like gossip based on nothing…" – reader Nathalie

    • "How did I ever live without the keen insights and cutting observations of Deceiver!? And I mean that sincerely... I love your blog. " – reader Teresa

    • "Deceiver.com is our newest obsession" – reader Judi

    • "I don't visit Perez Hilton anymore. I like Deceiver for the solid content, and the lack of spelling errors. Deceiver has a head on their shoulders, whereas Perez Hilton just has head!" – reader Stella