Remember the old Britney? Back when she was the new Britney? Before K-Fed, before the buzz cut, before the extensions, before the kids and the rehab and the near-daily public breakdowns? You know, back when you had to read between the lines a little bit to find the sexual tension. She was always talking about how she was saving herself for marriage, but you knew better, didn’t you?

Turns out you were right. According to US Weekly, Britney lost her virginity not at 18, as she claimed, but at 14. In hindsight maybe it’s not so shocking, but back in 1999? We were all too terrified of Y2K and looking forward to the Matrix sequels to care, frankly. (Oh, those golden days of youth. So naïve.)

So maybe the reason she’s a complete train wreck now is because she had to live that lie for so long? Brit was always giving us hints. Even back then, she was dressing like a hooker while telling people she was a role model for ‘tweens. “I’m saving myself for the right guy, tee-hee,” as America stared at her abs. Sure, she’s earned millions from that frisson between Good Britney and Bad Britney, but it drove her to this. Was the Big Lie worth it, Brit? Was it?