Yesterday TMZ reported that despite filing for divorce, Linda Hogan still wants to save her marriage with the Hulkster:

“She doesn’t want to see the family break up. She really wants to work it out with him. But it is like pushing up against a brick wall. She is heartbroken about it.”

How heartbroken? This heartbroken:

Hulk Hogan’s estranged wife Linda is seeking half of the couple’s more than $9.5 million in assets, including a share of the value of their Bel Air mansion.

In her divorce filing, Linda Bollea, who appeared with her husband [real name: Terry Bollea] and their children during four seasons of VH1’s reality series Hogan Knows Best, calls the 24-year marriage “irretrievably broken,” the St. Petersburg Times reports.

I just looked up “irretrievable,” and it means “not retrievable : impossible to regain or recover.” Sort of like her credibility. Maybe she got “heartbroken” mixed up with “bankbroken“? Or is the whole thing just a way to protect the family assets from a civil lawsuit by the parents of the kid who’s in critical condition because Nick Hogan had a few cocktails and played chicken with a palm tree? It’s all so confusing. I liked it better when ol’ Hulk just ripped apart his t-shirt and told me to eat my vitamins and did the exact same wrestling moves every single match.

Also: Brooke Hogan in a bikini. Because, you know, um… journalism?

*Like “There goes that ho’ again.” Get it? Never mind.

Related posts:

• A Belated Congratulations to Newlyweds David Letterman & Regina Lasko! Those two crazy kids got married last March, and I...
• Mel Gibson Annuls 29-Year Marriage Through Secret Tribunal I would love to know how Mel Gibson justifies this...
• Jon & Kate Plus Eight Ways to Look Happy on TV Kate Gosselin’s brother and his wife have come forward to...
• Prominent Right-Winger Defends Would-Be Beauty Queen’s Homophobia Here’s the well-known hard-right conservative Michael Kinsley in the fascist...