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Archive for December 3rd, 2007

03
Dec

Heather Mills: The Full Monty

By The Oversneer 4 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Environmentalists, Socialites, The Naughty Bits and The Washed Up

mills_porno_1_sfw.jpgI know , I know … we’re supposed to be just a few IQ points more mature than all those other celebrity blogs. So a full-frontal nekkid picture of a famous celebrity is beneath us.

Yeah.

Barely a month ago, Heather Mills complained in a GMTV interview (that’s a British thing) that her detractors:

“… eliminate now my whole 20 years of my life of campaigning and put in things like, ‘Hard Core Porn Queen’. All this disgusting stuff from my topless days. And then the poor guy who did this book called ‘Joy For Sex’, basically gets this much of an apology, because they call his book a ‘Hard Core Porn’ thing. It’s so ridiculous.“

mills_porno_2_sfw.jpgIn other words, Mills never did any real “hard core porn” and every time she peeled off the ol’ knickers it was in the pursuit of tasteful, “topless” art. Underline “art.”

Yeah.

So much for Heather Mills the victim.

(Very) NSFW, hard-core photos after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Heather Mills: The Full Monty’

03
Dec

Al Franken Means What He Says (At the Time He Is Saying It)

By Simon Scowl 3 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: U.S. Left-wing Politicos
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On the other hand, Stewart Saves His Family was really underrated! So it kind of balances out.

Keep in mind that this was put together by his opponent, Ol’ Whatsisname. (Has he ever been on SNL? Um, no.) So maybe some of the context has been left out. Like maybe Franken said right beforehand, “Please keep in mind that what I’m about to say directly contradicts something I said not that long ago.” Is it really fair to take him out of context like that? Let’s try harder out there, people.

03
Dec

Heigl Knocks Knocked

By Simon Scowl 2 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Movie Stars and Television Stars

Katherine Heigl, 5/22/07:

“[Making Knocked Up] was probably the best time of my life, and it’ll never ever get any better. I might as well just quit,” she told Access Hollywood about her experience filming the latest movie from The 40-Year-Old Virgin mastermind Judd Apatow.

Katherine Heigl, 12/3/07:

“[Knocked Up] paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys,” the actress — who just turned 29 — tells January’s Vanity Fair.

“It was hard for me to love the movie,” she says, even though the comedy elevated her asking price from $300,000 to $6 million for her next flick.

It’s a May/December romance with the truth… on a burning bridge! (I’m guessing she won’t be working with Apatow again anytime soon.)

03
Dec

Lies, Damn Lies and…More Damn Lies

By Holly Won't 1 Comment Digg! Digg this
Categories: U.S. Right-Wing Politicos

rudy_giuliani.jpgRudy Giuliani has been hyping his mayoral record throughout his presidential run, but he should probably avoid statistics on the basis that he makes everything up.

Among his misstatements:

  • That New York during his tenure was “the only city in America that has reduced crime every single year since 1994.” Chicago is in America too, though.
  • That he cut spending by 7 percent; his own memoir says it grew by 3.7 percent.
  • That he increased the police force from 28,000 to 40,000, when most of that was due to a merger of the NYPD with the Transit and Housing Police Departments.

And so forth. Can we vote for none of the above?

03
Dec

Larry Craig: Still Stalling

By Simon Scowl 1 Comment Digg! Digg this
Categories: The Washed Up and U.S. Right-Wing Politicos

A steady stream of homosexual gentlemen have been coming out (sorry) to talk about their encounters with Idaho Senator Larry Craig, who continues to maintain he’s as straight as a… um… a really straight thing. Anyway, his only public statement about the allegations since October has been this:

“I know what people feel like when they’re profiled, when innocent people get caught up in what I was caught in as an innocent person.”

I think what he’s trying to say is that he’s innocently innocent in terms of innocence, and in no sense did he do any of that nonsense. Just my two cents.

Hey, did you know there’s a Larry Craig Talking Action Figure? It’s hard to get right now, but just tap your foot and maybe you’ll get lucky. I’m not sure what the doll actually says, but it’s certainly nothing his wife can’t rationalize away. “Oh, he just likes when I cook chicken dishes, that’s all. He’s not allowed to provide food for his family? So he asked to see the fella’s rooster, so what.”

03
Dec

Fine Lines

By Holly Won't 4 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Fashionistas and Movie Stars

nicole_kidman.jpgNicole Kidman attributes her flawless skin not to the wonders of Botox, but to good ol’ clean living:

“To be honest, I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything. I wear sunscreen, and I don’t smoke. I take care of myself. And I’m very proud to say that.”

The sunscreen I believe — the woman is practically transparent. But as for the rest, she’s not fooling anyone. Over the summer, she told Britain’s Closer magazine:

“Yes, I smoke cigarettes — but only occasionally. It’s an addiction and I’d say anybody to who was going to start: ‘Don’t!’ But you have to enjoy life a little, don’t you?”

Occasionally, is it? Maybe she only gets Botox occasionally too — every three months, when it starts to wear off.

03
Dec

Ticket to Writhe

By Simon Scowl 2 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Activists, Environmentalists, PETA, The Naughty Bits and The Washed Up

Heather Mills has long claimed that although she did pose for a few topless photos back when she was still bipedal, it was very tasteful “sex educational” stuff. Well, now the News of the World (link definitely NSFW) is saying that they’ve uncovered some harder stuff. They call her “Mucca.” Don’t ask me why:

Mucca squeezed into a red lace teddy with matching stockings for a hardcore photoshoot.

She pulled down her top to expose her boobs and splayed her legs in this classic porn magazine pose.

And in another of the explicit shots — taken before she lost her leg in a 1993 road accident — she writhed knickerless on a white quilted bed, cupping her naked breasts.

Across the pages of the smutty mag, pouting Heather boasts: “I’m gonna drive you crazy with my body…”

You don’t need to use your body, you loopy lean-to, just open your mouth! To speak, I mean. Well, there’s not much difference between this and the previous pix that came out, but they just really don’t like her over there. If they want to keep pointing out her hypocrisy, it sure makes my job a lot easier.

Hey, remember that old novelty song about her? “The No-Brained, Five-Toed, Lyin’, Hurtful Beatle-Thiever”? Of course you don’t, I just made it up.

03
Dec

Fox to Trot

By Holly Won't 0 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Businesses

fox.jpgFox Entertainment Group isn’t going to let the writers’ strike get in the way of their holiday party. That wouldn’t be in the Christmas spirit!

When the strike began, Fox officials said they wanted to curb spending across the board to protect the company’s employees:

“All of the Fox Entertainment Group will be looking at a variety of cost-containment initiatives, all designed to save jobs should the strike continue for months and months,” a News Corp. spokeswoman said.

Those measures were meant to include travel expenses, car services, and business dinners. But not catering, punch, or mistletoe?

03
Dec

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is a Size 2?

By The Oversneer 19 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Television Stars

jennifer-love-hewitt-is-a-fatty.jpgJennifer Love Hewitt is engaged. And tromping around Hawaii on the one week this century when heterosexual males have something more exciting to think about than celebrity beach flesh. Good thing for them.

Now, it doesn’t bother me that Jenna the Hutt has enough junk for a Pottery Barn full of trunks. But what drives me batty is the holier-than-thou female empowerment message she posted on her Myspace page after a half-dozen blogs snarked about how she was suddenly larger than life:

“I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image.

A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful …

To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong.”

Maybe — just maybe — she was a size 2 on Party of Five. But now she’s looking more like Party of Ten.

It makes me wonder what kind of Photoshop voodoo was harnessed by Hanes in 2005 to turn out this ad. There’s nothing wrong with growing into your body, Jen. Just be honest about it.

Photo: Splash News

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