From the lyrics to Britney’s latest single, “Piece of Me”:

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don’t matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They’re still gonna take pictures of my derrière in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me…

I’m Miss Bad Media Karma
Another day another drama
Guess I can’t see the harm
In working and being a mama
And with a kid on my arm
I’m still an exceptional earner
And you want a piece of me

I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
(You want a piece of me)
I’m Mrs. Oh My God, That Britney’s Shameless
(You want a piece of me)
I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! This Just In
(You want a piece of me)
I’m Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin
(You want a piece of me)

Presumably this will be her farewell single, right? Since it’s so awful to be her and everything.

The big “news” this morning is that her figure has been digitally slenderized in the video, but that’s not really a shock. They’ve been doing that stuff to chunky “singers” ever since Paula Abdul. No, the most galling thing is that she wants everybody to look at her complaining about how everybody won’t stop looking at her. How about this: If you want to be left alone, don’t have your publicists inform the paps every time you make a Starbucks run.

It’s like John Lydon said: “If you don’t want to be a pop star, stop being one.”

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