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Archive for December 31st, 2007

31
Dec

No Such Thing as Bad Publicity

By Holly Won't 1 Comment Digg! Digg this
Categories: Bad Boys & Girls, Businesses and Television Stars

mischa_mugshot.jpgMischa Barton was scheduled last night to host a party at CatHouse, a new Vegas club in the Luxor Hotel and Casino. Immediately after her arrest, the club changed its mind about using Hollywood’s newest DUI scandal to promote, well, drinking. Said the club in an official statement:

“Because of the media attention currently surrounding Mischa Barton, CatHouse has decided it is best for all parties involved that Mischa does not appear at tonight’s grand opening. Mischa will not be replaced as host, however VIP guests confirmed to celebrate the highly anticipated ‘loungerie’ opening include Adrien Brody, Jaime King, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Trachtenburg and Jack Osbourne, among others.”

But according to a PR guy for CatHouse, it seems now they’ve changed their mind:

“Mischa did not show up last night as expected,” the rep said. “She still has to honor her contract, and what happens next remains to be seen.”

To me, it sounds like she’s fulfilled her obligations. At least I know I never would have heard of CatHouse had Mischa not been arrested, and what club doesn’t want to be associated with irresponsible drinking and drug use?

31
Dec

Macy’s Is Not Good at Math

By Holly Won't 1 Comment Digg! Digg this
Categories: Businesses and Movie Stars

Macy’s is closing a bunch of stores because nobody shops offline anymore, but the company blew $100 million on a holiday ad starring Jessica Simpson and Martha Stewart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69T89WGfVOg

Macy’s paid millions for Jessica Simpson, really? Nobody pays that much for Jessica Simpson anymore. You can find her in the bargain bin at Dollar General, right next to her incredibly painful stripper shoes.

31
Dec

Memo to Tuna: Beggars Can’t Be Choosers

By The Oversneer 0 Comments Digg! Digg this
Categories: Sports Figures

With all the hype in American football surrounding the New England Patriots’ epic perfect season (soon to be memorialized, I’m sure, in a Disney movie), it’s easy to lose sight of all the other big stories in the National Football League. Here’s one begging for scorn.

parcells.jpgBill “Big Tuna” Parcells, an NFL coach of no small import, agreed this week to take on the job of Executive Vice President of Football Operations for the woeful Miami Dolphins. How bad are the dolphins? The team posted just 1 win this year, and 15 losses. The last team to do what the Patriots have accomplished this year (a perfect season) was the 1972 Miami squad. Last time I checked, the veterans from that year were switching their arm bands and pretending they lived in Boston.

So here’s what the new head guy in Miami has to say about his plans for the team:

“I’m interested in good character people. I don’t want thugs and hoodlums on the team. I don’t want bad character guys. I don’t want problem children … I want to get a good base, good character people that are dependable, reliable employees that come to work with the idea of trying to win football games for the Miami Dolphins.”

Funny — Last time I checked, Parcells owed his two Super Bowl rings to the on-field talents of social misfits and thugs like Lawrence Taylor. Remember him? The superstar Pro Bowl linebacker who admitted to snorting coke as early as his second pro season? The guy who played games while high on crack and bottled his teammates’ urine to beat drug tests?

Yeah — “good character” people help you get ahead in the NFL.

Prediction: Next year at least two Dolphins will have highly publicized drug problems. One will be arrested on firearms charges. Parcells will keep his eye on the scoreboard.

Of course, I could be wrong. Give back the rings, Bill, and all will be forgiven.

Hat tip: New York Daily News

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