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Archive for January, 2008



24
Jan

Striving for Relevance Reaches a New Low

john_travolta.jpgJohn Travolta has expressed his devastation over “his friend” Heath Ledger’s death, although they never co-starred in a movie together and it’s unclear that they ever even met.

In an interview with Woman’s Day, he talks excessively about his feelings and claims to be Ledger’s idol:

WD: Did you know Heath? How has his death affected you?
JT: I did know Heath and I adored him. I am pretty devastated over this. He was my favourite actor and my favourite talent. It’s like losing James Dean. I would give back all my awards and all my nominations just to have him back — I think he is a real loss as a persona and as a talent. And this whole evening is very hard for me. We are celebrating Australia week in the USA — and it’s killing me. You know that he’s both of us. He’s Australian and from the United States, and he means a whole lot. It’s bad situation.

And then:

WD: How did you meet him?
JT: I wanted to meet him because I was very impressed with him from the very beginning. His agent introduced me to him at a party, and I just fell — I used every accolade. Actors need other actors to be inspired by, and he was “my” actor.

WD: How did he respond?
JT: I forget that anyone younger than me grew up with me. He was beautiful in his reaction. I was an idol of his — my reacting that way to his work really blew him away, but he was very modest and almost bashful about the compliment — and didn’t want to make a big deal about himself. But he was a big deal.

This all sounds pretty vague. My first reaction was that Scientology knows Tom Cruise is overexposed right now, but they needed some other believer to get out there and say they had valiantly tried to help Ledger get off drugs, since after all, they are the authorities.

23
Jan

Debata-Bull

According to FactCheck.org, both Hillary and Obama kinda sorta said some things that weren’t true during their debate Monday night:

  • Clinton falsely accused Obama of saying he “really liked the ideas of the Republicans” including private Social Security accounts and deficit spending. Not true. The entire 49-minute interview to which she refers contains no endorsement of private Social Security accounts or deficit spending, and Obama specifically scorned GOP calls for tax cuts.
  • Obama falsely denied endorsing single-payer government health insurance when he first ran for the Senate, saying, “I never said that we should try to go ahead and get single-payer.” But in fact he gave a speech in 2003 saying, “I happen to be a proponent of a single-payer health care program.”

Edwards made up some stuff too, but then, he’s never going to be president. The important thing here is that I find myself faced with a terrifying choice: Do I believe that Hillary’s lying, which would make me a misogynist? Or do I believe that Obama’s lying, which would make me a racist?

Come to think of it, there’s no reason I can’t be both. Whew!

23
Jan

Super Misguide Me

Morgan Spurlock became (somewhat) famous for pointing out that eating McDonald’s every day is bad for you. His next earth-shattering revelation: Nobody can find Osama Bin Laden! Well, nobody who wants him dead, anyway. Spurlock has been promoting his new movie, Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?, by dropping hints that he actually tracked down the terrorist mastermind. Last month Slashfilm reported:

Many people are speculating that Spurlock may have done what the U.S. government has been unable to do, and actually found Bin Laden. The film’s director of photography, Daniel Marricone added fuel to the fire, telling the press that Spurlock “definitely got the holy grail…” When asked about the rumors, Spurlock would only say “Until there’s something to see, why talk about it?”

But now Ain’t It Cool News has a report from the premiere:

I’ll just go ahead and get it over with. This movie is f***ing retarded. Maybe it would feel less retarded if it wasn’t for all those rumors of him actually finding and interviewing Bin Laden. Or maybe it would come off less stupid if he had just titled it “Super Size Me 2: Middle East Vacation” cause that is more accurate as to what it really is. This is not a film about finding Osama Bin Laden or at the very least debunking the rumors of where he isn’t.

Apparently the premise of the movie is that when Spurlock found out he was going to have a baby, he decided to track down Bin Laden and help make the world a better place for his kid. So he traveled around the Middle East and asked people, “Do you know where Osama Bin Laden is?” (Why didn’t the CIA think of that??) But then:

He gives up the whole thing after seeing a sign that says, “Foreigners are not allowed in this area.” (I wish I was kidding.) That’s it. That’s the whole movie, well, except for gratuitous ego animation and a sequence where Spurlock visits a McDonald’s in Saudi Arabia. Oh, and at the end he decides to show us a very graphic clip of his girlfriend giving birth to their baby.

14:57, 14:58, 14:59…

Maybe that guy meant, “Spurlock definitely rented Monty Python and the Holy Grail“? Now that’s a movie worth watching.

(Hat Tip: Hot Air)

23
Jan

Tom and Jerry

tom_and_jerry.jpgMany of you have probably already seen Jerry O’Connell’s spot-on parody of Tom Cruise’s Scientology indoctrination video, but just in case you haven’t

Thing is, Jerry O’Connell co-starred with Cruise in Jerry Maguire, and was just so grateful for the opportunity:

You also starred in Jerry Maguire. What was it like working with Tom Cruise?

“That movie was a lot of fun! At the time I had just graduated from college so to get that role, and to be able to work with someone as experienced as Tom Cruise was a real thrill!”

The whole interview has way too many !!!s. But honestly, this brand of two-facedness doesn’t bother me all that much. The man should win an Oscar for nailing that psychotic laugh.

23
Jan

V for Vacuous

demi_moore.jpgDemi Moore posed (almost) nude for V magazine’s upcoming issue, and with it gave an interview that’s about as real as her face.

A couple of noteworthy moments:

But mother-of-three Demi protests that on this occasion stripping off wasn’t her idea.

The Charlie’s Angels star posed in the bathing suit for V magazine, but she insists she was persuaded to strip off by the late Princess Diana’s favourite photographer Mario Testino.

Demi said she was against being pictured in a bathing suit but the charismatic photographer wore her down until she agreed to remove her clothes.

She said: “Mario’s idea was all swimming suits and I got him down to just one.”

Right, because she’s always been so modest.

Demi spent a vast sum [rumored to be close to $400,000] on head-to-toe surgery four years ago, including a procedure on her sagging knees.

Despite her youthful looks, she has complained that there are not enough Hollywood parts for older women.

She is 45 years old! Hollywood isn’t going to cast her to play a 20-something ingenue because she couldn’t pull it off, and they’re not going to have her play someone’s mother because what other mom of three looks like she does? What she’s really complaining about is that there aren’t enough starring roles for cosmetically altered drones.

22
Jan

Pap Smears Brit

From Britney Spears’ sort-of-hit single, “Piece of Me”:

I’m Mrs. ‘You want a piece of me?’
Tryin’ and pissin’ me off
Well get in line with the paparazzi
Who’s flippin’ me off
Hopin’ I’ll resort to some havoc
End up settlin’ in court
Now are you sure you want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me…

Well, it sounds like she’s giving away samples! Paparazzo Alison Silva tells Page Six:

“Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It’s all staged.”

In Britney’s defense, it might not be her fault. If she’s suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, as is being speculated, she might not even know she’s doing it! British Girl might call up the paps — “Cheers, mates! Oi’m about to pop out for some fish & chips and a pint of lager!” — but then five minutes later, Weepy Girl takes over and doesn’t know what’s going on. You can take away only so many pieces of a person before there’s nothing left that can function.

22
Jan

Autism Speaks Sues Autistic Kid for Speaking

autismspeaks.jpgAutism Speaks, a national charity that advocates research on autism and promotes public awareness of the brain disorder, is suing a teenager with
Asperger’s syndrome for running a website for other kids with autism.

I’m tempted to let my forehead do the rest of the typing.

Kelly Becker’s profile on aspiesforfreedom.com, a message board for autistic people and their families, says she’s 14 years old, male-to-female transgender, and is into pizza, computers, dancing, and music.

She shut down her website, ntspeaks.org, which was a parody of Autism Speaks’s own site, after being sued last week for $90,000 for copyright infringement, lost revenue, and drawing away 1 million of the charity’s supporters.

22
Jan

How True Is That?

Last week we told you about permagrinning TV “chef” Rachael Ray demanding Starbucks coffee while filming a commercial for Dunkin Donuts. Well, guess what?

“Ridiculous,” she said when asked about the scurrilous rumor. “It’s ridiculous. It’s absolutely ridiculous.”

There you go! That’s the end of it, as far as I’m concerned. Coming from anybody else, that would just sound like a panicky denial to avoid jeopardizing a huge endorsement deal. But this is Rachael Ray! She wouldn’t lie. Have you ever seen a more honest, genuine face in your whole life?

22
Jan

Traveling Is a Penalty in Basketball, Right?

sonics.jpgThe Seattle SuperSonics basketball team is trying everything to get out of its lease at the KeyArena. They’re claiming in court documents that no one will notice if they leave the city:

“The financial issue is simple, and the city’s analysts agree, there will be no net economic loss if the Sonics leave Seattle. Entertainment dollars not spent on the Sonics will be spent on Seattle’s many other sports and entertainment options. Seattleites will not reduce their entertainment budget simply because the Sonics leave.”

Which is the opposite of what they said in 2006 when they were trying to get the city to build them a new $271.5-million venue:

The franchise claims it has a $258 million economic impact on Seattle—a figure based on rosy estimates—and that a new facility would not require new or higher taxes.

Which is, of course exactly, what they’re selling in Oklahoma City, where the team’s owners want to set up shop next—if they can get out of their lease at the KeyArena. OKC is going to vote in March on a $100-million package to spruce up the Ford Center and build a practice facility for the team.

21
Jan

Hucka-B.S.

If you don’t feel like listening to Mike Huckabee drone on for that whole clip, you can fast-forward to about 3:50. He’s talking about how, unlike the Bible, the U.S. Constitution was designed to be amended. Here’s what he says:

My point was that the Constitution was a document, it’s a living, breathing document written in order that it could be changed. The Scriptures, however, were not written so that we would change them to adapt them to ever-changing cultural norms.

This is why he’s against gay marriage, apparently. But wait, what does he say on his site about judges trying to legislate from the bench?

I firmly believe that the Constitution must be interpreted according to its original meaning, and flatly reject the notion of a “living Constitution.” The meaning of the Constitution cannot be changed by judicial fiat.

Which is it? Either it’s a living, breathing document or it isn’t. Unless it’s some sort of… zombie Constitution? That would be pretty cool. I actually might have stayed awake in class if the Constitution were trying to eat people’s brains.

(Hat Tip: Hot Air)




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