Joel Stein interviews George Clooney for the new issue of Time, in a Joel Stein story that was written by Joel Stein and also Joel Stein has his name at the top of it. Think I’ve mentioned Joel Stein too much? Try reading the story.

If you don’t feel like wading through 3,000 words of pathetic fawning (Clooney had dinner at Joel Stein’s house! Isn’t that amazing?), here’s Joel Stein, in his last two sentences, stumbling upon something that resembles an insight:

George Clooney is a movie star because he’s happiest when he controls how everyone around him feels. Because that’s what movies do.

But if Radar Magazine is any indication, that control is slipping out of Clooney’s gentle-yet-manly hands:

…for the past few years his public image has hovered above those of his famous colleagues like a gleaming bubble rising from a heavily perfumed bath. But recently, Clooney’s impossibly flawless exterior seems to have taken on too much air, with reports of some very un-Clooney-like behavior. There was, for instance, that motorcycle crash in Weehawken, New Jersey, which left girlfriend Sarah Larson with a broken toe (the parties blame each other, and the case is still under investigation), and a near-fistfight with romance-novel cover boy Fabio in November. Suddenly, Clooney’s become the bubble people are lining up to pop…

According to Hollywood insiders, Clooney is an overhyped egomaniac, a phony, and a “bully” with a “whopping temper.” And worst of all, at least in Hollywood: He can’t open a movie.

“Oh. you mean Mr. Beautiful, Mr. Nice, Mr. Politically Correct, and All That Other Crap Guy?” growled a formidable Hollywood agent when asked about the actor. “He’s the perfect human being, except that he has the biggest ego in the world and never lets the public know because it wouldn’t be the right kind of image.”

The Radar story quotes several sources (all anonymous, of course) claiming that Clooney is turning into, well, a dick. They also provide some video evidence:

The Clooney Bin from RADAR on VimeoThat ol’ Clooney charm! The reporter was asking about his commercials for Nespresso — a product of Nestlé — and how he reconciled his work for such an oft-boycotted company with his role in Michael Clayton. In short, he’s getting paid to promote a shady multinational, while getting an Oscar nomination for playing a lawyer who’s some kind of hero for turning his back on a shady multinational. Which Clooney addressed by… you just saw it. “Hi! If you don’t mind, I’m going to look at you through my eyebrows. Now: I am just trying to make a living, and you’re irritating me by reminding me that I expect everybody to care about evil corporations and Darfur and so forth, while in the meantime I’m taking checks from Nestlé.” Or, in sum: “Waaaaaah.”