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When politicians wind up crashing headlong through their own plate-glass houses, someone makes the inevitable visit to the archive of smugly moralistic campaign commercials.
Today, I am that someone.
Trustworthy Turnpike? Responsibility Road?
How about Prostitute Promenade? Leave-the-Money-on-the-Nightstand Lane? Half-and-Half Hallway? Escort-Service Avenue? Or, for you Francophones, Rue de Rumpus?
My favorite is “Client-number-9 Court.” What’s yours?
Linda Bollea, aka Hulk Hogan’s estranged wife, hit the beach with a copy of the book Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life.
Which, as the Superfish points out, is a bit ironic for someone who:
…looks like East German Barbie but with implants. And also used to be named Klaus.
Amen, brother. You know from our extensive previous coverage of the Hulk’s divorce that this is a pretty apt observation.
As a commenter named Mark wrote today on the New York Times website: “Oy. Another reformer with boxer shorts of clay.” New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (D-Mustang Ranch) came to power on a promise of ethics reform. The Times notes:
As attorney general, he also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.
In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.
“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. ”It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”
A friend just e-mailed me what he says is a quote, not five minutes old, from right-wing radio talker gasbag Rush Limbaugh: “You have to remember that Governor Spitzer is a Democrat. These sorts of things are résumé-enhancers.”
Update #1: HuffPo is connecting the dots with last week’s bust of the “Emperor’s Club VIP,” an “escort” service that charged between $1,000 and $5,500 per hour.
Update #2: It’s emerging that Spitzer is “Client #9″ referred to in the federal criminal complaint, a person who used the services of a prostitute in February (Search the PDF for references to “client-9″).
Update #3: Courtesy of The Smoking Gun and HuffingtonPost, here are some screen grabs from the now-defunct Emperor’s Club VIP website. I’m not going to speculate about how HuffPo and TSG just happened to come by these graphics…
I’m particularly amused by this last image, an ad for a “pro” named Samantha. If you Google the text describing her (”stunningly beautiful, accomplished, international fashion model” with a “fresh perspective and congenial attitute”), you’ll wind up here. Is this operation a franchise deal? Do the feds know?
Update #4: Greta van Susteren says on the Fox News Channel that Spitzer has been indicted: “I have it right in my hand. I have the indictment in my hand … It was sealed, and now unsealed. But this is in the Southern District of New York. Where he was a prosecutor.”
She really seems down to earth, what with traveling to other countries to interfere with their cultural traditions and selling $500 leather handbags and such. What keeps her grounded? She tells Cosmopolitan (via Us Magazine):
The actress (and whale rights enthusiast) says she skips out on clubbing.
“I think people look at me as just another one of those girls who’s going to screw up, like, ‘She’s going to get into drugs, and she’s going to get into parties,’” Panettiere says. “I have an occasional glass of champagne when I’m celebrating something, but generally, I don’t drink. I’m a pizza-and-a-movie girl.”
Yyyyyyyyep.
Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali is looking forward to being a celebrity by any means possible, and she hopes her upcoming reality show with her momager Dina Lohan will do what it takes to make her a star. She tells Teen Vogue:
“I want it so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening… I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you… It’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”
So Dina has managed to screw up not just her eldest, and Lindsay is a role model. Well played, Lohans.
So of course LiLo has some wisdom for AliLo:
“Stay away from the clubs!” Lindsay, 21, tells Extra in a new interview about Ali, 14.
Oh come on now, Lindsay knows as well as anyone that she wasn’t really famous before she became a club fixture. And even now that she’s completed rehab for the second time, she still won’t stay away from the parties because that’s where the paparazzi are. She doesn’t think her sister knows that?
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