In order for that headline to make sense, you need to know that Be Your Own PET is the name of a band. They’re from Nashville and play very loud music with guitars and drums, and their singer looks like she’s 15 years old and really flips out onstage. They’ve got a new album out this month, and it turns out Universal Records removed three songs from it at the last minute. Why? Because they were “too violent”! Pitchfork Media has some of the lyrics:

“Blow Your Mind” is a 45-second juggernaut that turns its title into a threat. “Black Hole” bitches about living in a dead end town with nothing going on, so “let’s go and kill someone”. It also contains the immortal line, “Eating pizza is really great / So is destroying everything you hate!”

“Becky” tells a Heathers-style tale of best friends turned worst enemies:

Doesn’t matter anyway, ’cause I’ve got a brand new friend, OK
Me and her, we’ll kick your ass
We’ll wait with knives after class!

Well then, that makes sense, right? Universal Music Group certainly doesn’t want to condone violence. Here’s another example of UMG protecting the public from one of their own artists:

HAHA, gotcha! Go ahead, yell
Here I’ll scream with you,
AHH SOMEBODY HELP.
Don’t you get it b*tch?
No one can hear you, now shut the F*** up and get what’s coming to you.
You were supposed to love me.
Now bleed b*tch, bleed!
BLEED B*TCH BLEED!
BLEED!
–Eminem, “Kim”

Remember how UMG pulled that song off the album? Oh wait, no they didn’t. Hmmm… I know! There was this one:

I can’t smoke weed, cause my PO make me p*ss in a cup
N**** go ahead, disrespect me, I’ll f*** you up
I ain’t talkin’ about a fist fight, I’ll cut you up
Yo don’t want stitches in yo grill motherf*****, then chill
–50 Cent, “Whoo Kid Kayslay S***!”

Come to think of it, that timeless classic made its way onto a UMG album too. I wonder if there are any other examples of this double standard? One or two, maybe? It just seems weird that it’s okay for a menacing thug to talk about hurting people, but when a cute, silly girl does it, suddenly it’s wrong.

If you think you can handle it, Be Your Own PET’s site is streaming those songs. Can you listen to them without murdering anybody just because they said so? Let’s find out!