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31
Mar
08

Hayden Panettiere Rewarded for Interfering with Other Cultures

The diminutive dolphin-defender received the amazingly prestigious Gretchen Wyler Award on Saturday night. Whaddaya mean, you’ve never heard of the Gretchen Wyler Award? It’s only the best prize ever:

“As an actress, you always dream of getting awards like the Golden Globe award, but I never expected to get an award that is this special and important to me as this,” Hayden said through tears. “There are people who dedicate their entire lives to preserving the environment and defending animals, they are so much more deserving of something like this.”

No argument! (If only they were on Heroes.) This was at the Genesis Awards, which are produced not by the silly band, but by the silly Humane Society. Last year Hayden made a spectacle of herself brought attention to “saving the dolphins” in Japan, but apparently these people are willing to overlook all the bunnies and cows she’s killed. Save the Animals (That Don’t Earn Cute Lil’ Hayden a Big Paycheck).

P.S. Oh, and don’t forget all the cows she’s exploited! (Thanks to reader Melissa)


10 Responses to “Hayden Panettiere Rewarded for Interfering with Other Cultures”


  1. 1 Rocko Mar 31st, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Gretchen Wyler has her own awards show? Who knew country music could be so lucrative!

  2. 2 Pastafarian Mar 31st, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    I can’t think of anything remotely funny to say. So I’ll just say You go Hayden! Wait she just wants to save bottle nose dolphin right? The “Flipper” kind? Not the other kind. Whats wrong with the other kind of dolphin? I think the other kind of dolphin is kind of cool looking. But I know the Flipper kind are the clowns of the sea. Or are those otters? I’d like to save otters with their cute little hands and they way they sleep tied up to kelp and stuff. Of course what otter has ever saved a sailor from the attacks of sharks. None I’ll bet. They know where their bread is buttered. And it’s being cute. Not actually doing anything worthwhile. Oh well. Some day I’ll save something. But it won’t be some selfish bastard otter thats for sure. Or a monkey.

  3. 3 Ty Mar 31st, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    WHO GIVES A FLYING FK?

  4. 4 Irishogre Mar 31st, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Yes, way to go Hayden! I was hoping that you could help with our cause too. We champion a rather specific cause related to Dolphins. If you are unaware, Dolphins are highly intelligent and extremely adaptable to humans. I actually have my own dolphin and I dedicate most of my free time to flogging him. I was hoping that you would be willing to stop by and flog my dolphin at your earliest convenience. I believe that if you did flog my dolphin, it would put an end to the ills and evils of the entire world. Let me know a date that works out for you. Thanks, Hayden!

    Respectfully,
    Brian

  5. 5 jared Mar 31st, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    but apparently these people are willing to overlook all the bunnies and cows she’s killed.

    Not to mention kittens!

  6. 6 C. Apr 1st, 2008 at 8:59 am

    I actually agreed with the Japan trip, in that whaling is a horrible, horrible thing to do and the Japanese should actually really stop. But what have you done SINCE then, Hayden. You actually have to like, follow up on causes, not sitting around waiting for Hillary Clinton to wager for your vote or brag on the red carpet.

  7. 7 Louise Apr 2nd, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    You know what?
    You guys are being pathetic.
    At least she’s doing something against some kind of animal cruelty, better than other famous people that just don’t care.
    And are the people from this site doing something to help the cows/bunnies/dolphins/etc ?
    It’s really easy to criticize, much easier than do something.
    I don’t really like her, but she deserves some credit for using her image to do something positive.

  8. 8 Simon Scowl Apr 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    And are the people from this site doing something to help the cows/bunnies/dolphins/etc ?

    I’m helping them by eating as many as possible. The sooner they’re extinct, the sooner their suffering will be over.

  9. 9 apizzle Apr 4th, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Oh my. god. thank you so much for putting this out there. I’m vegan, and I know many REAL animal rights activists. This girl is a huge joke! People should not speak one peep about animal exploitation until they look long and hard at how they contribute to it ON A DAILY BASIS.. for fashion, entertainment, and yes, FOOD.
    screw this “oh please help the baby seals wah wah” bullll shyt…if she stopped eating her hamburgers for lunch and wearing leather shoes then i might think she ACTUALLY gives a flying crap about the status of animals today. Until then YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE HAYDEN!!!

  10. 10 Is it Missa or Selina? Apr 5th, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Um, Deceiver, PETA much? Since you hate PETA so much, then why are you acting like them? Huh? There’s a difference between human nature and murdering animals that people don’t actually murder in the past thousands of years. Animals eat animals too, watch it in the Discovery Channel or better yet in the wild! It’s LIFE!!

    Look who’s the Deceiver now?

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