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03
Apr
08

John Mayer Is Doomed

john_mayer.jpgThe many of you who come to Deceiver via Perez Hilton probably already know that he of the Technicolor Dream Hair and John Mayer hooked up in NYC recently.

For the rest of you, as a courtesy I waited until after lunch on the East Coast to post this so you wouldn’t lose your appetite.

As Perez noted, Mayer’s rep didn’t bother to deny the story because it’s true.

Which leads me to remind you all about John Mayer’s fear that his future wife will want nothing to do with him because of all the supposedly-untrue gossip she will have presumably read about him in the tabloids:

ā€œMy fear,ā€ he says, ā€œis that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, ā€˜I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say hello to you,’ and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, ā€˜Not for me, Bub. I don’t want anything to do with you.’ And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It’s all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks.ā€

I think it’s safe to say that the girl of his dreams is preemptively running for the hills. C’mon, this bit of news tops anything that was ever written about him and Jessica Simpson, right?


6 Responses to “John Mayer Is Doomed”


  1. 1 matt Apr 3rd, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    Ew. That is so f-cked up.

  2. 2 Pastafarian Apr 3rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    Really? This can’t be true. Jessica Simpson might be a mental midget, but she’s a babe. And Perez is a babe alright. But the kind that stars in movies like Charlotte’s Web, and have James Cromwell in them. Plus you know, he’s a dude.

  3. 3 Sarah Apr 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    Oh come on… I am a digital artist and those photos were photoshopped. Jesus.. the lighting is off and coming from different sources. Though it was better than most photoshop i’ve in tabloids… His rep isn’t commenting because they can’t believe anybody is taking this seriously!!!!!!!! Come on don’t be stupid.

  4. 4 Rocko Apr 4th, 2008 at 1:13 am

    Oh, c’mon. If you’re going to believe this, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you that me and Holly Won’t had mad animal sex on.

  5. 5 Holly Won't Apr 4th, 2008 at 8:55 am

    I hope you get top dollar for that bridge on eBay. That was before I was famous.

  6. 6 jlynn Apr 5th, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Thats kind of a strange thing to worry that much about.

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