Mirabile dictu (in honor of the Pope’s U.S. visit) — Akon, the rap “artist” best known for dry-humping a 14-year-old girl in Trinidad, fabricated most of his “convict” street cred.

Even The New York Times is getting in on the bashing. Who could have seen this coming (besides, like all of us)?

All credit for the research goes to The Smoking Gun. But Hollyscoop has the best summary, for those of you who don’t want to wade through 3,900 words at TSG:

Rapper Akon is a big fat liar. He’s based his career (and record label) on the idea that he was “Konvicted” and served time behind bars, but that’s as far from the truth as it gets.

Throughout his career he claimed that he was the “ringleader of a notorious car theft operation” and served a four-and-a-half year prison sentence …

The documents reveal that although he was arrested for stealing a BMW, he never once set foot in a prison. The case was dropped by a Georgia court. He basically got away with three years probation.

So the moral of the story is, if you have high hopes of making it in Hollywood, don’t be shady and lie about your past. Because one way or another, we’ll find out the truth and you’ll look like an idiot.

Look, the kid’s got talent. But does he have to gild the lily like this?