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Archive for May, 2008

30
May

Carnie Wilson to Write Book About Weight Struggles

carnie_wilson.jpgI admit that there may be a bit of a generation gap here, because I don’t know anything about Carnie Wilson except for her weight issues. Evidently she’s a musician and “television personality,” but so is Heidi Montag and that doesn’t seem to mean much.

In any event, in March she came out swinging over a National Enquirer exposé that she’d regained a ton of weight after having a gastic bypass done in 1999, back when she weighed 300 pounds.

After the surgery, she dropped to around 150 pounds, but the National Enquirer reported she’d fattened back up. She was insulted.

“If I’m 205 today, that means I am up 70 pounds,” she revealed in a candid interview about her weight battle on Good Morning America. 79 pounds, she said, “is an outright lie.

“It is very hard being in the public eye, being scrutinized for every pound,” she added.

Around the same time she said she weighed 208, so my math says they were off by 6 pounds. Splitting hairs, if not pants. But I digress.

What’s odd is that a mere two months later, she’s writing a tell-all book about her dieting struggles. It seems that as a weight-loss advocate, such a move will open her up to scrutiny of every pound, no?

Some people just want the flattering press and can’t accept the bad.

29
May

Tyra Banks: Cover Girl and Total Narcissist

tyra_banks_nytmcover.jpgTyra nabbed the cover article of this week’s New York Times Magazine mainly to talk about how she’s the next Oprah.

According to the New York Times, the article “goes inside the world of Tyra Banks — ex-cover girl, ex-Victoria’s Secret model and the reigning star of two popular TV shows, ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and ‘The Tyra Banks Show’ — learn how the 34-year old entrepreneur turned herself into a brand.”

“I think I was put on this earth to instill self-esteem in young girls,” says Tyra.

Reeeeeeeally.

Let’s for a minute ignore the fact this is an absurd statement given her hosting duties on ANTM, where every week there’s some commentary on how contestants are too fat/too thin/too drag-queeny/too short/too ethnic/not ethnic enough/too edgy/too commercial.

But Cele|bitchy did some investigative reporting a few weeks ago after the German mother of an 11-year-old girl came forward with claims that Tyra misled her before they came on The Tyra Banks Show.

The daughter, Linda, wishes to pursue a modeling career and went on the show thinking she would receive career advice from the former Victoria Secret queen bee. Not really how it went down, though.

To summarize: Linda had taken some photos patterned after poses she had seen on America’s Next Top Model. Tyra viewed these photos as inappropriate, calling them “bait” for pedophiles, and that’s when the berating began:

Claudia asked Tyra for modeling advice for her daughter and she said she wouldn’t help her due to those photos. Then Claudia and Linda got shooed off stage as people were booing and were put in a car to go home. They were not allowed to meet with Tyra before or after the show for a photo and Linda didn’t even get an autograph to take home. Linda cried all the way home.

Nice, right? I’m sure Linda feels really, really good about herself now.

29
May

PETA is UnBearable. Soap Stars are Just Dumb.

buckingham-palace-guards.jpgGotta love PETA. Just gotta love ‘em. Well, not really.

One of the animal rights group’s more obscure pressure campaigns involves trying to convince the Queen of England to give up the natural black-bear fur hats that Buckingham Palace guards have worn for 200 years. Because — y’know — British monarchs have always responded so well to public pressure from nitwits.

Are black bears endangered? Nope. The species covers most of North America. And black bear populations are growing in Canada, where Her Majesty’s funny hats come from.

So what’s the big deal? PETA hates people who wear fur. And they’ll praise anyone who parrots back the anti-fur party line. Even if they’re wearing leather while they do it.

This is fun.

Meet Michael Le Vell, a British actor who has played the part of Kevin Webster on the popular soap opera Coronation Street since 1983. PETA has their hooks in half the cast of this soap, who are now calling on the Ministry of Defence to get rid of the aforementioned real fur hats.

peta-fur-leather-oops.jpg

Le Vell showed up to the photo-shoot in a leather jacket. PETA promoted the picture anyway. If there’s a moral to this story it’s that perhaps cows and bears ought to be protected species. But soap-opera actors and animal activists should be culled as quickly as possible.

My favorite quote from this whole Battle Royale came from British Lieutenant Colonel Peter Dick-Peter (yes, that’s his real name …), who complained to the BBC about the fake-fur substitute that PETA recommended. “It looks like a ’60s Beatle wig.” I have to agree.

29
May

Woody Harrelson Has Lost His Damn Mind

woody_harrelson.jpgHe lives in a farming village in Hawaii where there are no shops and everyone uses solar power. A committed vegan, he eats mostly raw foods. He goes through a ton of weed, which may be his biggest carbon emission because his car runs on biodiesel fuel.

Now Woody Harrelson wants to take it to the next level: a forty-day fast during which he does nothing but surf all day. And probably smoke a lot of drugs.

“I know it’s going to be really hard,” the Kingpin actor says. “But can you imagine it? Eating nothing for 40 days? Swimming and surfing every day in a remote place? Where does the mind go?”

It goes away, probably.

Honestly, this plan is so extreme that I can’t help but respect it. And wait for the epic failure. Harrelson, I’m watching.

29
May

Just Confirmation of What Everyone Knew Was Going to Happen

simpson_clooney.jpgA two-fer, actually.

The witch hunt is over: newlyweds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz confirmed on their website yesterday that there is indeed a bun in her oven.

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”

Or until the photo deal was inked. Whichever came first.

Also, George Clooney just dumped that girlfriend who had the poor sense to praise and then mildly criticize the man in Harper’s Bazaar. His palatial estate has room for only one ego there, Sarah, and it does not tolerate spotlight-sharing.

28
May

White House Podium Follies

mcclellan.jpgI’m not a big fan of ABC correspondent Jake Tapper. I knew the guy in college, back when he was a mindless blowhard, drawing a very liberal daily comic strip in between making midnight bongs out of soda cans. But I have to admit he scored a major zing! with today’s research work on former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, whose tell-all book is sending the network newscasters into paroxysms of  anti-Bush cackling.

Apparently, McClellan voted against anti-Administration tell-all authors before he became one:

On the book critical of the Bush White House written in cooperation with former Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill, “The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill,” McClellan said on January 12, 2004:

McCLELLAN: “It appears to be more about trying to justify personal views and opinions than it does about looking at the results that we are achieving on behalf of the American people.”

McClellan also took issue with the book by former Bush White House counter-terrorism czar Richard Clarke, “Against All Enemies: Inside America’s War on Terror,” on March 22, 2004:

McCLELLAN: Well, why, all of a sudden, if he had all these grave concerns, did he not raise these sooner? This is one-and-a-half years after he left the administration. And now, all of a sudden, he’s raising these grave concerns that he claims he had. …

Q: Scott, the whole point of his book is he says that he did raise these concerns and he was not listened to by his superiors.

McCLELLAN: Yes, and that’s just flat-out wrong. …When someone uses such charged rhetoric that is just not matched by the facts, it’s important that we set the record straight. And that’s what we’re doing. If you look back at his past comments and his past actions, they contradict his current rhetoric. I talked to you all a little bit about that earlier today. Go back and look at exactly what he has said in the past and compare that with what he is saying today.

Yep. That’s the idea.

28
May

At This Point, Britney Needs All the Help She Can Get

A while back I was making fun of Britney Spears feeling sorry for herself, devoting whole “songs” to whining about what a drag it is to be her. To cap it off I quoted John Lydon, AKA Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols, on the subject of fame: “If you don’t want to be a pop star, stop being one.” That one has always sounded sensible to me. He cuts right through the bovine feces, Lydon does.

But guess what? Never mind!

SEX PISTOLS star JOHN LYDON wants to write a song for troubled star BRITNEY SPEARS — to help her turn her life around. The punk pioneer empathises with Spears’ personal problems and admits he feels inspired to collaborate with the singer.

Lydon insists he would love to give Spears’ musical career a boost. He says, “I haven’t written a song for Britney yet but I would love to. I’d like to help out because there’s a girl who needs some help.”

Then again, it’s Johnny Rotten, so he’s probably just taking the piss, as they say. He’s nothing if not quotable. Well, I just thought that was kinda funny.

(First Jello, now Johnny. I didn’t mean to turn this into Old Punks Week. They’re just being even sillier than usual lately. Senility is a bitch…)

28
May

OPEN THREAD: Is the U.S. Democratic Party Hypocritical? (You Decide.)

hanging-chads.jpg

Recognize this? It’s a card full of hanging chads. Yep. Those nasty little punch-out thingies that made the 2000 U.S. presidential election so very, very interesting as it unfolded in Florida.

Back then, the Democratic Party’s rallying cry was that we should “count every vote.” Al Gore took the case all the way to the Supreme Court, eventually losing the presidency.

Now the same political machine is contemplating a scheme that would ignore the primary votes of millions of people in Florida and Michigan — because state officials had the audacity to hold elections a little earlier than the national leaders wanted.

The Democratic National Committee’s “rules committee” will gather this weekend to decide whether or not to allow Florida and Michigan to seat any delegates at this summer’s national political convention in Denver. The decision will probably determine whether the Barack Obama juggernaut is unstoppable, or if Hillary Clinton still has a fighting chance to catch him.

For a political party that made Florida the backdrop for its drawn-out legal homage to the sanctity of voting rights just two elections ago, isn’t this the height of hypocrisy?

You tell me.

28
May

Mr. Big Thinks New York Is Too ‘Commercialized’

carrieandbig.jpg

Chris Noth is following in his Sex and the City co-star’s hoof steps by denouncing how materialistic New York has become.

The actor, who began residing in New York City in the 1970s, told Interview magazine that its appeal has greatly lowered over the years. “New York is pretty much commercialized to the point of no return,” he complained. Noth also misses the city’s creative scene, stating, “It’s very suburban. The art scene really left, except in patches. It’s all about sort of a corporate sensibility, and it’s squeezed out room for any other kind of sensibility.”

Noth claims to also miss the city’s diversity – what he calls the “eccentrics” and “different neighborhoods.”

The city has disappointed the actor so much that he has decided to move his Cutting Room night club from New York to Las Vegas. He defends his choice, stating: “I want to take the club to Vegas. I think a Cutting Room would be great in Vegas. I just haven’t really had the time to go out there and schmooze people and try to get them to invest millions of dollars.”

Because when I think “culture” and “taste,” Las Vegas immediately springs to mind.

Let’s be real: I’m a Mr. Big girl like you don’t even know, but Chris Noth willfully participated in and profited from a media empire that elevated materialism to an art form. I mean, his character cruises around Manhattan in a so-exclusive-you-can’t-even-buy-it $200g Mercedes S Class. Chauffered.

28
May

Kirsten Drunkst Claims Rehab Stay Was for Depression

kirsten_dunst_postrehab.jpgEveryone’s favorite drunken troll Kirsten Dunst says she didn’t check into the Cirque Lodge in Utah for drinking, as widely reported. She claims the stay was to treat her depression:

She says “it was a good six months before I decided to go away.

“I was struggling, and I had the opportunity to go somewhere and take care of myself,” she continues. “I was fortunate to have the resources to do it. My friends and family thought it was a good idea, too. But I didn’t know where to go. My doctor recommended Cirque Lodge.”

Thing is? You can’t just go to rehab for any old reason — you have to be an addict to get in. Cirque Lodge’s website is clear as can be that they accept only patients who are dependent on drugs or alcohol. While I don’t doubt that Kiki is depressed, she couldn’t check herself in just for her mental-health issues, and it’s disingenuous to imply that.

Personally, I think she was pressured to counter those reports earlier this month about her staggering drunk out of a New York club. Cirque Lodge doesn’t need another public failure.




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