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Scarlett “I Don’t Think Human Beings Are Monogamous Creatures by Nature” Johansson (whose debut album drops this month, I’m sure by sheer coincidence) is engaged to actor Ryan Reynolds, according to People magazine.
Until last year, Ryan Reynolds was engaged to singer Alanis Morissette, so maybe this romantic double negative means these two commitment-eschewing lovebirds will live to see their golden anniversary.
…Wait, who are we kidding? Over/under on two years, anyone?
Motherhood becomes Nicole Richie — seriously, she’s looking so much better than she used to — but according to Star magazine, she’s itching to get back to her partying ways.
“Nicole is torn between being a mommy and being a party girl,” an insider told the publication. “She wants to go out and have fun, but when she does, she’s like, ‘Uh-oh, Harlow needs me.’”
The dramatic lifestyle change is catching to the new mom, said another source. “Nicole really misses her carefree life. Before Harlow came along, Nicole never had to worry about anything. All she did was party with her friends and go shopping. Now she’s totally overwhelmed by her new responsibility, even though she adores her daughter. Nicole still can’t figure out if she’s happier when she’s home with the baby or hitting the town with her friends!”
Nothing is sadder than when celebrities have kids young and then claim they weren’t ready for the responsibility (paging Britney Spears). It was way less depressing when she called motherhood “beyond amazing” last month — let’s go back to then.
Apparently, Mothers Against Drunk Driving aren’t busy enough wagging their fingers at people who drive drunk in real life. Now they’re going after sloshed speedsters in virtual reality!
The Associated Press reports:
Mothers Against Drunk Driving wants a stricter rating on “Grand Theft Auto IV.”
The organization is calling on the Entertainment Software Ratings Board, the independent organization that assigns video-game ratings, to reclassify “GTA IV” as an Adults Only game. The action-driving game, which includes the ability to drive while intoxicated, is currently rated Mature.
“Drunk driving is not a game, and it is not a joke,” MADD said in a statement released Tuesday. “Drunk driving is a choice, a violent crime and it is also 100 percent preventable…”
In the critically acclaimed open-world game, players have the choice of patronizing a bar and then attempting to drive drunk. While virtually under the influence, the screen becomes blurred and the controls are more difficult to use. Players also have the option of hailing a taxi or walking. The intoxication effects wear off after a few minutes in the game.
Er… when you’re sitting at home pretending to drive drunk in a video game, you’re not out driving drunk. You probably haven’t even left the house for days. You are a menace to nobody but yourself.
Keep in mind that this is a game where you can do the following:
I’d list more, but I only got the game yesterday. That’s not even getting into the stuff like the strip club you can visit or the misogynistic, profanity-laden TV shows you can watch within the game. It’s pretty much a sociopath starter kit, but these nearsighted MADD scolds don’t care about any of that. That stuff doesn’t help them raise funds.
Bottom line: They’re not having a good time, so neither should you.
Since Victoria Beckham’s career as a fashion designer seems to have fizzled, perhaps she can support herself as a professional litigant.
As previously reported, Posh Spice’s denim line was dropped last month from LA fashionista havens Kitson and Fred Segal due to poor sales. The $290 jeans eventually popped up on sale racks at Loehmann’s for $70.
Now she’s seeking $100-million from Rock and Republic, the premium denim designer that helped her launch her own line, for loss of earnings, because she thinks the jeans should have sold better than they did.
However, the line was dropped reportedly because she declined to promote the jeans or do anything beyond putting her name on the label.
Is this the first time in history that Posh has avoided publicity? I can’t think of any other time when she’s turned down an opportunity to promote herself.
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