A lot of tabs have been speculating in recent months that Paris Hilton’s been a bit jealous of all her friends who have had babies. Well guess what: They’re probably right. Paris now thinks her stellar record of pet ownership means she’s ready to raise children:
“I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.â€
Take, for example, the time her pet ferret got lost in a dumpster. Kids love garbage!
Or when her kinkajou Baby Luv bit her on the arm, requiring an emergency-room visit. The California Department of Fish and Game also reportedly sent her a warning that kinkajous are illegal to own as pets in that state, so she shipped it off to her place in Las Vegas. There’s nothing a baby loves more than chewing on stuff and Caesar’s Palace.
All of that plus a lost Chihuahua led to her being named “Worst Celebrity Pet Owner” by Hollywood Dog Owner Magazine (circulation: 22) in 2005. She was the runner up the following year — behind Britney Spears — for “treating her dogs like accessories.â€
So let’s hope she comes up with some other criteria to determine her readiness for motherhood before she gets knocked up by a Madden brother.
It’s almost Mother’s Day, so Marie Osmond has some choice words for Billy Ray Cyrus about the way he’s raised Miley:
I can only speak for myself, but, for example, the Miley thing — her dad stepped out [of the photo shoot]. My parents never, never left us alone. How do you say no to somebody like Annie [Leibovitz] when you’re a little girl? If your kids are going to be in that kind of business, then you need to make it your business to be there for them.
Deceiver readers might be interested to know that Osmond’s own 16-year-old son Michael checked into rehab in November to receive treatment for undisclosed issues.
Oh, and that was while she was still taping Dancing With the Stars. And she evidently didn’t take time off to tend to her family crisis.
Although with a mother like her, I can’t say I wouldn’t have had a serious drinking problem before I could vote either.
Celebrity screamer and chef (in that order) Gordon Ramsay is worried about his 8-year-old kid’s dirty mouth. When the little lad started coming home and asking “Daddy, what does “F*** you, you dumb c***’ mean?”, Ramsay had a talk with him:
“I had to sit him down and found out that this was coming from the 16-year-olds on the bus who’d decided to teach Jack Ramsay a different swear word every day… I simply told him they were rude words and he wasn’t to use them in front of the girls or his mother.”
How about in front of several f***ing countries? (NSFW, unless you work for this f***ing psychopath)
No, not Saddam Hussein, silly, he’s dead. Even worse: Michael Lohan!
Earlier this week Dina was honored as a “top mom” by something called the Mingling Moms Organization (which is admittedly ridiculous), and Page Six quotes him as saying:
“Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi.”
I’m not sure why they bleeped out “pshaw,” but I do know that Michael Lohan needs to shut up about partying too much. Being a good tipper up in the strip club does not count as good parenting skills. Even if the stripper is your daughter…
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