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A lot of tabs have been speculating in recent months that Paris Hilton’s been a bit jealous of all her friends who have had babies. Well guess what: They’re probably right. Paris now thinks her stellar record of pet ownership means she’s ready to raise children:
“I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.â€
Take, for example, the time her pet ferret got lost in a dumpster. Kids love garbage!
Or when her kinkajou Baby Luv bit her on the arm, requiring an emergency-room visit. The California Department of Fish and Game also reportedly sent her a warning that kinkajous are illegal to own as pets in that state, so she shipped it off to her place in Las Vegas. There’s nothing a baby loves more than chewing on stuff and Caesar’s Palace.
All of that plus a lost Chihuahua led to her being named “Worst Celebrity Pet Owner” by Hollywood Dog Owner Magazine (circulation: 22) in 2005. She was the runner up the following year — behind Britney Spears — for “treating her dogs like accessories.â€
So let’s hope she comes up with some other criteria to determine her readiness for motherhood before she gets knocked up by a Madden brother.
“I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.â€
…yeah cuz taking care of kids is just like taking care of pets; UGH another one who shouldn’t be procreating
I doubt that little Timmy or Susie will be very proud when mommy makes a new sex tape. Please don’t breed, Paris. Or adopt. Or come within 100 feet of innocent, impressionable children.
I’ve lost all hope now. If she spawns, humanity is doomed.
I doubt she can actually have children with the infected and diseased vagina she has. I’m sure that after her 4th or 5th abortion her uterus is no longer functioning. At least that is my hope.
I will have nightmares for the whole week-end…
I am hereby volunteering my services to be the father. You guys aren’t thinking. K-Fed anyone? That guy will never work again. And Paris’ family has more squid. It wouldn’t be too hard, I’m thinking, to have her declared an unfit parent. You take the kid, pass it off to the nanny, and collect the $250,000 a month in child support. All you need are flexible morals. I got ‘em.
I’m in Chicago Paris! It’s the city in the middle of the country next to the big lake.
OK, I am going to post an unpopular opinion here, devil’s advocate, if you will. Remember how everyone was horrified when Nicole Richie got preggers? Wellll,look at her now. She is taking care of Harlow and giving back to the community. You rarely see her partying anymore, if at all. Maybe Paris will change, too. Food for thought.
P.S. For those who think she’ll go the Britney route, remember Britney had an extensive history of psychiatric disorders in her family. Nothing is really known about the Hiltons…yet.
I’m guessing you didn’t see the story from May 5th?
Pasta, keep in mind that the herp is forever.
SS, I actually always thought Nicole was sensible somewhere behind the party girl, heroine addicted image. I would like to think that Paris would go the same route as Nicole has, and I don’t see her going the Britney route, but I really think that Paris procreating is as scary as nuclear holocaust regardless. She seems like the type that would continue to strive for relevance, making a fool of herself in the process, and drag her kid into it until that kid begins to bore her.
Herpes infected millionaire. Yeah I could manage. Embril right? Is that the one? Is that how you spell it?
You crack me up, Pasta. Dunno about the meds, though. Paris will be able to tell ya!
how dare all you people, dont you realize that a baby is the ultimate accessory? of course shes jealous, all her friends have the perfect attention accessory, why shouldnt Paris have one? while im usually against it, i would hope that if she does have a baby, that she would hire an army of nannies to assure its safety…
The medication is Valtrex, others in the same class are acyclovir and famciclovir. Enbrel is a rheumatoid arthritis injection.
No wonder my bones feel so strong and youthful lately. I’ve been taking the wrong stuff.