Today’s edition of WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING!!! comes to us courtesy of none other than:
The Prince of Wales has warned that the world faces a series of natural disasters within 18 months unless urgent action is taken to save the rainforests.
In one of his most out-spoken interventions in the climate change debate, he said a £15 billion annual programme was required to halt deforestation or the world would have to live with the dire consequences.
“We will end up seeing more drought and starvation on a grand scale. Weather patterns will become even more terrifying and there will be less and less rainfall,” he said.
Sounds bad. So how is Chuck doing his part to save the planet? The same way as everybody else, silly!
Britain’s Prince Charles, eschewing pollution-spewing jets, is touring the Caribbean on a 246-foot megayacht, complete with hot tub, gym and 24-member crew.
Charles and wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, arrived Tuesday on the first leg of a five-island Caribbean tour that the prince’s office swears will be friendly to the budget and the environment.
According to Clarence House, the couple’s plans to sail rather than fly between islands will reduce the trip’s carbon footprint.
He’s not kidding around with this stuff, people. Both his Jaguar and his Land Rover have been converted to run on biofuels. Every single one of his mansions has at least one compact fluorescent bulb, and all his servants have been instructed to breathe as little as possible. Heck, he’s even got a recycled wife! He’s inspired me. To do my part to stop Global Warming, I’ve instructed my driver to keep the Bentley under 55 when driving over the poor.
(Hat tip to Deceiver Fan #1 Pastafarian)
I just love the Prince’s 18-month ultimatum. It kinda reminds me of the time back in 1987 when televangelist Oral Roberts announced that unless his supporters sent him $8 million, “God would call me home.”
Sadly, they complied.
And when, exactly, did it start being a “rainforest” anyway? When I was little it used to be called a “jungle.”
I have one compact fluorescent light bulb in my house too. It lights the room in my basement where I keep all of my mail order brides.
Well, at least the good prince is preaching by example.
I wonder what he smoke to talk about his “18 months surprise disaster”…
Remind me again. Does this guy have a job???
Yeah, but he still has to live with Camilla.
Umm, exactly how SMALL a carbon footprint does a “246-foot megayacht, complete with hot tub, gym and 24-member crew” have”? I guess his jetstream is not going into the ozones now - just into the oceans.
Perhaps he was really warning the Queen she needs to retire within 18 months so he can be crowned King of England before he goes totally bonkers.
BTW, when they use the word “sail” they don’t mean as in using WIND power. Leander is a motor yacht which BURNS 650 LITRES OF FUEL AN HOUR!
Chuck better watch out or Camilla’s going to toss him out on his ear. Spouses get tired of constant, holier-than-though prating. Just ask Larry David’s ex-wife.
Why not 17 or 19 months? Why 18?
“Perhaps he was really warning the Queen she needs to retire within 18 months so he can be crowned King of England before he goes totally bonkers.”
Charles: Mummy why can’t I be king? I’m old enough aren’t I? Why can’t I be king? Oh screw her. Since I’m never getting the throne at this rate I’ll just whine about global catastrophe instead.
…and hawk snake oil cures to the public…
B.F.D.