Oprah has proclaimed that she’s going vegan for the next three weeks to do the spiritual body cleanse espoused by some blonde guru from Los Angeles. (I can’t wait ’til I too can be a spiritual advisor exclusively to megarich media moguls. A girl can dream.)

The diet plan involves eliminating alcohol, coffee, sugar, gluten, dairy, meat, and everything else that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Lucky for all of us, Oprah’s blogging about it. You can follow along as she dumps on the doorman the turkey meatloaf her chef made for especially for her. Thanks for nothing, hired help!

But really, how much of a scam is this? For all her talk about forsaking animal products, do you really think Oprah has given up her collection of Christian Louboutin heels she loves during these three weeks as a vegan?

As recently as January, Oprah was all up on the shoe designer’s jock. She even gave away a $700 patent leather pair to an audience member. The last line says it all:

Audience member Laurie is the lucky winner! With a little help from Oprah, Laurie chooses a pair of open-toe Tiger Patent Leather heels. Why did she pick that pair? “Because you’re going to wear them with your basic black dress and they’re gorgeous, right? And jeans,” Laurie says. “And brown and beige and black.”

“Wear them in good health,” Oprah says.