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Archive for May, 2008



27
May

There’s Always Room for Jello’s Self-Contradictions

Jello Biafra (AKA Eric Reed Boucher) is known, to the extent that he is known, for being an “anarchist” and the former lead singer for the punk band Dead Kennedys. In 1986 Biafra was put on trial for obscenity due to the liner art for their album Frankenchrist. It ended in a mistrial, and since then Biafra has drawn on that harrowing experience to make a second career as an anti-censorship advocate.

Well, he just threw all that out the window. He’s now calling for the censorship of insane radio talk show host Michael Savage, who recently played Dead Kennedy’s anthem “California Über Alles” as part of a sick “tribute” to Ted Kennedy’s cancer diagnosis:


Biafra replied, telling the Boston Phoenix:

I haven’t read the details yet, but I’m aware of what Michael Savage did. Obviously he took my song way the hell out of context and did it deliberately…

It scares the s*** out of me that the most popular radio talk-show hosts are all foaming-at-the-mouth, ultra-bigoted blabbermongers whom only North Korea or the Nazis could love.

But like it or not, Savage is the third-most popular radio-talk show host in this country behind Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. Nobody from the other side is represented or promoted well enough by the big right-wing-owned radio networks to compete…

The real issue here is why aren’t the big candidates calling for media reform? Once upon a time there was a law on the books called the Fairness Doctrine, and it said that if somebody like Savage or Limbaugh or that skull woman Ann Coulter said something completely f***** up and dishonest on the air, somebody else was allowed to come on the air and reply to them without being told to shut up every 15 seconds by a power clown like Bill O’Reilly.

That’s right: The free speech advocate wants the government to intervene in the free speech of others. Censorship is completely wrong, unless it’s being levied against someone you disagree with! Then it magically transforms into “media reform.”

Whatever you might think of Savage (I don’t like him either), he has the right to be stupid, sick, and mean. He has the right to offend people. Just like Biafra had the right to put out album art that offended people. The government should stay out of it in both cases, and Biafra is a complete hypocrite for wishing it on somebody he doesn’t like.

Not to mention that he named his band Dead Kennedys. That pretty much revokes his right to be offended by any Kennedy-related humor whatsoever. I did like the “power clown” line, though…

(Hat tip to the Radio Equalizer)

P.S. Click here to listen to Jello vs. Tipper Gore and the PMRC on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1990. He was still against censorship back then, but I guess it was a long time ago.

27
May

Did Joey Whack Drea de Matteo’s Career?

drea_de_matteo.jpgActress Drea de Matteo was overheard complaining about her career stalling since 2006 when NBC canceled Joey, the obnoxious Friends spinoff.

Says a source who overheard her talking in NYC: “She was saying ‘Joey’ completely ruined her career. She called it horrible and said she hasn’t been able to really work since then. She said she’s really been out of the business and is trying to get back in.”

The actress, who also was on The Sopranos for five seasons before getting got, has scored roles in five movies since Joey, so I’m not sure what the bitching is all about.

Regardless, maybe she should consider other possible obstacles to her career, including but not limited to: her thick Staten Island accent; her exclusive pursuit of roles for 30-something tough broads from Staten Island, of which there are few; her stank attitude; and her meth face.

27
May

Maybe ‘The Media’ Targets Dina Lohan Because She’s a Media Whore

dina_harpers.jpg

Cele|bitchy did our jobs for us while we were enjoying the long weekend and provided a useful guide that I like to call How Dina Lohan Is A Complete Fraud.

She went on The View yesterday and was asked about those rumors (with photos) that she and Lindsay party together sometimes. Dina cleared that up for us:

“That’s absolutely not true. I manage her and there are dads that are managers, I won’t mention names, in the business
 she would have an event at a club and they would say I’m at a club, which is completely not true. I think they target women more than they do men unfortunately. It’s a man’s world. I was targeted and I was going through a lot publicly with the divorce and people just start rumors. I know who I am and trust me, I don’t party. I would rather go to dinner with everyone in this audience than with a 21 year-old.”

Interesting, because last year:

“I’m living the American dream, and you can go . . .” she exclaimed after Harper’s [Bazaar] asked her what she would say to critics of her parenting techniques.

In the interview in the April [2007] issue, the 44-year-old Lohan described how she’s more like a sister to her fire-haired daughter — going out to clubs with her and even wearing her old Prada jacket and Jimmy Choo boots.

“If you can button it and clip it when you’re in your 40s, you’re going out,” she said as she put her hand in the air to solicit a high-five from the Harper’s reporter.

She’s awesome.

23
May

George Clooney’s Own Girlfriend Thinks He’s a Hypocrite

clooney_sarah_larson.jpgSarah Larson, the Vegas cocktail waitress who’s been dating George Clooney for the past year, was interviewed in the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar.

In it, she talks about how they met, what their relationship is like, and how he’s a hypocrite (albeit a handsome one!) for driving a Prius to get to his Gulfstream V.

One thing that attracted her to Clooney was his work in Darfur: “It’s incredible what he’s doing over there, his passion to try to use his status to make a difference.” And though he has a hybrid, Clooney still flies private, which Larson considers “a walking contradiction.” But she says, “People get comfortable. [It's] baby steps.”

Comfortable is just a polite word for complacent, methinks.

23
May

Oprah and Her Louboutins Go Vegan for Three Weeks

oprah_louboutin.jpgOprah has proclaimed that she’s going vegan for the next three weeks to do the spiritual body cleanse espoused by some blonde guru from Los Angeles. (I can’t wait ’til I too can be a spiritual advisor exclusively to megarich media moguls. A girl can dream.)

The diet plan involves eliminating alcohol, coffee, sugar, gluten, dairy, meat, and everything else that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Lucky for all of us, Oprah’s blogging about it. You can follow along as she dumps on the doorman the turkey meatloaf her chef made for especially for her. Thanks for nothing, hired help!

But really, how much of a scam is this? For all her talk about forsaking animal products, do you really think Oprah has given up her collection of Christian Louboutin heels she loves during these three weeks as a vegan?

As recently as January, Oprah was all up on the shoe designer’s jock. She even gave away a $700 patent leather pair to an audience member. The last line says it all:

Audience member Laurie is the lucky winner! With a little help from Oprah, Laurie chooses a pair of open-toe Tiger Patent Leather heels. Why did she pick that pair? “Because you’re going to wear them with your basic black dress and they’re gorgeous, right? And jeans,” Laurie says. “And brown and beige and black.”

“Wear them in good health,” Oprah says.

22
May

Hulk Hogan’s Son Is Definitely Being Rehabilitated

Nick Bollea, son of Terry Bollea AKA Hulk Hogan, is currently serving an 8-month term in a Florida jail for the reckless driving that put his friend John Graziano into a permanent coma. And as his phone calls to his mom prove, it’s clearly making him reflect on the behavior that put him there:

Bollea is being kept in a single cell at the Pinellas County Jail because he is one of only two minors serving time in the adult facility. On the phone, he cries often and is comforted by his mother Linda.

Nick: “All you do is sit there and think, and there’s nothing to think about.”

Nothing.

To think about.

Sounds like that visit to Graziano’s bedside made a big impression.

22
May

Bibles and Online Porn: A Match Made in Heaven?

paul-irwin.jpg

Meet Paul Irwin, the president of the American Bible Society.

How’s things, Paul? Had better days? Sorry to hear that…

The American Bible Society, the Christian charity based in Manhattan, announced on Tuesday that its president, Paul G. Irwin, and chief financial officer, Richard B. Stewart Jr., had been placed on paid temporary leave at the request of the organization’s board.

Why did your Board suspend you? Did you bend a Commandment or something?

An article in The New York Times on Sunday reported that the organization paid more than $5 million over the last two years to an Internet contractor with ties to online pornography.

Oof.

richard-gordon.jpgMeet Richard Gordon, the aforementioned porn-empire, er, emperor. Hate to say it, but he kinda looks the part, no?

Here’s that pesky New York Times again:

Mr. Gordon has yoked together disparate endeavors that support pornography, the Bible, and prevention of animal abuse — all by marrying the universal purchasing power of credit cards to the respectability conveyed by slick Web sites …

Paul Irwin, the head of the American Bible Society, from 1996 to 2004 was chief executive of the Humane Society of the United States. In his two decades preaching animal rights, Dr. Irwin, an ordained minister of the United Methodist Church, turned the Humane Society into the largest animal welfare charity in the world …

It was toward the end of his tenure, in April 2003, that Dr. Irwin first hired Mr. Gordon. Tax returns for the Humane Society show that the organization paid $881,000 to Mr. Gordon’s new venture, Exciting New Technologies …

[W]hen Dr. Irwin left the Humane Society and took the reins of the American Bible Society, he hired Mr. Gordon again … Between July 2005 and June 2007, tax documents indicate, the Christian charity paid Exciting New Technologies more than $5 million. A spokesman for the philanthropy said that the $5 million in payments involved projects other than Web design, including e-mail marketing and digitizing the Bible, that were performed by subcontractors.

I think the Reverend Irwin has been spending a little too much time in Song of Songs. Just a hunch.

22
May

Denise Richards Must Have Expensive Tastes

denise_richards2.jpgDenise Richards went on Larry King to talk about how she was forced to do her reality show because she needed the money.

Not so much, say friends of her ex Charlie Sheen, who tried to block the program because he was afraid she would exploit their children.

A source tells Page Six:

“Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support,” a Sheen insider fumed. “Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can’t?”

In addition to the child support, Richards got $60,000 a month (also tax-free) for two years in alimony — adding up to a whopping $1.44 million. Richards also gets a chunk of Sheen’s hot sitcom, “Two and a Half Men,” which “eventually will net her up to $25 million,” the source said.

That is some crazy cash right there for someone who does nothing other than bone her best friend’s husband and complain endlessly about her ex’s sperm.

22
May

Paris Stops Pretending She’s OK With Losing Her Inheritance

paris_can_can.jpgFor months, Paris Hilton has tried to put on a brave face ever since her grandfather Barron Hilton had the audacity to commit 97% of his huge fortune to charity.

Speaking of her rich grandpa, the older Hilton sister shrugged off the bad news that she and her siblings have been all but completely written out of their portion of Conrad Hilton’s $2.3 billion fortune, saying, “It won’t affect me anyway.”

Her take will still be roughly $5 mil, which should be enough to keep her in the clubs at least until she’s 29.

But Drunken Stepfather found this clip of Paris on a British news program, promoting her new skanky perfume Can Can.

In it, a reporter asks if her grandfather’s announcement came as a surprise. She gives a stony glare and then asks a producer to move the interview along to the next question.

If she wants to keep up the pretense of being a world-traveling do-gooder, maybe she can muster up some enthusiasm that the less-fortunate will get some of her grandfather’s moolah.

21
May

Audrina Patridge Definitely Doesn’t Seek Attention

audrina_bikini.jpgAnd speaking of not keeping your clothes on…

The lone brunette on The Hills was totally not looking for attention when she posed for those nudie shots (NSFW photos here), sent them to Playboy, got rejected, and then went on a MTV faux-reality show where everything is scripted, right down to where they go for brunch.

Audrina tells Vegas magazine:

“I am not an attention whore. I’m not going to release naked photos of myself just to get attention. I’d rather get different attention and be respected.”

And also:

Clearing the air, Patridge said the first round of photos, which show her topless in several backdrops, “were never supposed to be seen.” And the second round, released shortly after the first set hit the Internet, the photographer misrepresented what he intended to do.

“He was like, ‘Let’s just do these, it’ll be like a Maxim thing,’” she said of them. But it was the public’s reaction to the photos that surprised her. “People were like, ‘You have fake boobs.’ And I’m like, ‘No I don’t, but thanks. I take that as a compliment.’”

I can’t believe I’m about to defend Maxim, but has she ever picked up a copy? Those shots belong nowhere in there. And I’m not convinced it’s really better to be gullible than it is to try to make it big with your obviously fake boobs.




May 2008
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