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Archive for May, 2008



21
May

Matthew McConaughey Is Modest

mcconaughey_ad.jpg

As several Deceiver commenters pointed out last week, Matthew McConaughey rarely goes outside with a shirt on, right?

Like, maybe never?

So it’s kind of oddly quaint that as the star of a Dolce & Gabbana ad, he insisted that the European version (where he’s half naked) not air in America in the name of modesty.

The Daily Mail reports:

The 38-year-old, current face of Dolce & Gabbana’s new fragrance The One, insisted on shooting two ads to preserve his modesty at home in the States.

‘Matthew didn’t want to be bare-chested on billboards in America, although he doesn’t seem to have a problem stripping off in his films,’ says a source.

‘He insisted on having his shirt on for the ad in the States, and off in the one for Europe and Asia.’

I guess because he looks less like a whore with his clothes on.

20
May

Fergie Blows on The Today Show

fergie_today_show.jpgFergie went on The Today Show this morning to perform her rendition of Heart’s “Barracuda.” (Btw, I rock that song on Guitar Hero. Dun-da-da-dun-da-da-dun DA DA! But I digress.)

And then in front of a Rockefeller Plaza audience comprised of parents and children, she faux-fellated her guitarist. Rock on!

But you know what her charitable cause is? Um, teaching kids about safe sex.

Back in February:

Singer Fergie took to the stage at a New York high school on Tuesday to teach students about AIDS prevention and safe sex. The Black Eyed Peas star, who was once addicted to crystal methamphetamine, urged the 10th graders at Murry Bergtraum High School to never allow themselves to be pressurized into sex without a condom.

She told the assembled 15-year-olds, “In high school I cheated on my boyfriends — whatever! (But) do you really want that person who’s just going to like you if you have unprotected sex?”

Speaking after the event, Fergie added, “It’s about building self-esteem. That’s what it’s going to take for young people to have protected sex. They have to stick to their guns.”

There’s nothing like pretending to cheat on your fiancé with a skeevy bandmate on national television to really drive that point home.

20
May

Today’s Lohan Moment

Remember Lindsay stealing that Columbia University student’s fur coat a few months back? The student is now suing her. I honestly have nothing to say about it (except “Good”), but it’s a nice opportunity to put up this picture again:

You know, that might be a good tack for Linsday’s lawyer to take: she was recycling! Why kill more animals to make a coat, when you can just “borrow” somebody else’s? Either that or Not Guilty By Reason of Lohanitude.

20
May

Heather Mills to Release Book on Veganism

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Heather Mills seems like the last person who should write a book about living a stress-free life (Tip #1: Don’t marry gold-digging whores who then commandeer the media attention for years when the divorce hits the fan), but so it goes.

I guess with her meal ticket out of the picture, she needs the money, and the divorce settlement barred her from writing a tell-all book about her life with Sir Paul.

So she came up with this instead: The 64-page publication, Get Wealthy Healthy With Heather, will promote her tips for reducing stress in your life, including switching to a vegan diet.

No word yet on whether rat’s milk will receive its day in the sun. Because it’s so vegan and all.

19
May

Obama’s “No Spouses” Rule Is Kinda New

ABC’s Political Radar blog, 1/21/2008:

Sen. Barack Obama says he’s ready to confront former President Bill Clinton, calling his advocacy on behalf of his wife’s presidential campaign, “troubling…”

“You know the former president, who I think all of us have a lot of regard for, has taken his advocacy on behalf of his wife to a level that I think is pretty troubling,” Obama said. “He continues to make statements that are not supported by the facts — whether it’s about my record of opposition to the war in Iraq or our approach to organizing in Las Vegas. This has become a habit, and one of the things that we’re gonna have to do is to directly confront Bill Clinton when he’s making statements that are not factually accurate.”

Fair enough. Once the spouse hits the campaign trail, they’re fair game, right? Just because Bill’s standing up for his wife doesn’t mean he should be above criticism.

But hold on a second. From today’s Vote2008 blog at ABC:

Sen. Barack Obama ripped into a Republican ad today that targets comments made by his wife, Michelle, and called the GOP tactic “low class” and “detestable…”

“The GOP, should I be the nominee, I think can say whatever they want to say about me, my track record,” Obama said. “I’ve been in public life for 20 years. I expect them to pore through everything that I’ve said, every utterance, every statement. And to paint it in the most undesirable light possible. That’s what they do.”

“But I do want to say this to the GOP. If they think that they’re going to try to make Michelle an issue in this campaign, they should be careful. Because that I find unacceptable,” he said.

Bill Clinton’s advocacy of his wife’s campaign: Troubling.
Michelle Obama’s advocacy of her husband’s campaign: Above reproach.

Obama’s supporters must be able to reconcile these two contradictory statements. Ready, set, spin!

19
May

My Bologna Has a Second Name, It’s L-O-H-A-N

living_lohan.jpgThe previews for Dina Lohan’s reality show Living Lohan have started airing and boy oh boy, they’ve done the impossible — it’s a bigger trainwreck than previously imagined.

Dina gets her cliché on and tells the cameras:

“There’s got to be boundaries with these people, the paparazzi and everything. There’s just got to be more boundaries set.”

Right. Coming from the woman who is exposing her family to television cameras 24/7 for an effing reality show, I’m not sure how much weight that carries.

But it gets worse: Mom of the year Dina reportedly left her younger kids (ages 11 and 14) alone in the house. To go out partying. WHEN A FIRE BROKE OUT.

The New York Post has the story:

[M]om’s right there with the bad girls — leaving the kids at home to carouse at a party thrown in her honor, only to discover that her Long Island house had caught fire with her children asleep inside, says a source close to the family.

That would be funny if it weren’t so deeply troubling.

19
May

Simon Cowell Loves Animals. Just Not As Much As Money.

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Simon Cowell is a big animal lover. He endorses PETA. Says he’s going to leave his entire estate to crawling critters when he dies. He even does anti-fur ads — which I’d imagine doesn’t make him any friends among the richie-rich people in his social circles. So why is Animal Defenders International accusing the star of X Factor, Pop Idol, American Idol, and Britain’s Got Talent of supporting animal cruelty?

Last week on a Talent “audition” show, Cowell and co-judge Amanda Holden gave their approval to an animal magic act consisting of a husband and wife team who own 51 animals: a German shepherd dog, eight cats, three corn snakes, a python, a boa constrictor, a parrot, five gerbils, a chinchilla, a hamster eight owls, four doves, five rats, a hare and 14 rabbits.

The Aristocrats!

(Just kidding — the act is called “Animalgique.”)

The Animal Defenders group is pissed off because Cowell and Holden wanted the act’s animals to be “much bigger” next time, and because they wanted its humans to aspire to the level of Siegfried and Roy (you know — the ones who got mauled by a tiger?):

As high-profile celebrities, that have been outspoken in the past about animal welfare, it seems at complete odds for you to encourage Animalique to increase the size of their act; even specifically requesting a bigger snake … We are therefore asking that you immediately retract the acceptance of Animalique [sic] to the next stage of the competition on the grounds that animals have no place in entertainment.

No place in entertainment? None at all? Oh, yeah — that’s PETA’s Fourth Commandment (From their website):

peta-drop-in.jpg

I wonder why Sir Simon is suddenly at odds with PETA?

Oh, yeah. I’m betting all the publicity from this animal act makes him a bundle of Pounds, or Sovereigns, or Farthings, or whatever they use to buy caviar over there. Hey Simon — that’s not vegan either.

19
May

And the 2008 Upperclass Twit of the Year Is…

Today’s edition of WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM GLOBAL WARMING!!! comes to us courtesy of none other than:

The Prince of Wales has warned that the world faces a series of natural disasters within 18 months unless urgent action is taken to save the rainforests.

In one of his most out-spoken interventions in the climate change debate, he said a £15 billion annual programme was required to halt deforestation or the world would have to live with the dire consequences.

“We will end up seeing more drought and starvation on a grand scale. Weather patterns will become even more terrifying and there will be less and less rainfall,” he said.

Sounds bad. So how is Chuck doing his part to save the planet? The same way as everybody else, silly!

Britain’s Prince Charles, eschewing pollution-spewing jets, is touring the Caribbean on a 246-foot megayacht, complete with hot tub, gym and 24-member crew.

Charles and wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, arrived Tuesday on the first leg of a five-island Caribbean tour that the prince’s office swears will be friendly to the budget and the environment.

According to Clarence House, the couple’s plans to sail rather than fly between islands will reduce the trip’s carbon footprint.

He’s not kidding around with this stuff, people. Both his Jaguar and his Land Rover have been converted to run on biofuels. Every single one of his mansions has at least one compact fluorescent bulb, and all his servants have been instructed to breathe as little as possible. Heck, he’s even got a recycled wife! He’s inspired me. To do my part to stop Global Warming, I’ve instructed my driver to keep the Bentley under 55 when driving over the poor.

(Hat tip to Deceiver Fan #1 Pastafarian)

19
May

Will Smith Gives Big Bucks to Scientology School

will_smith_happyness.jpgIn a move that will surely have Will Smith’s Baptist grandma spinning in her grave, the action star has given nearly $900,000 to a private school that promotes Scientology studies.

According to the New Village Academy, one curriculum follows this method:

Study Technology - An educational model developed by L.R. Hubbard, study technology focuses on three principles. First is the use of “mass” (manipulatives and hands-on experiences) to foster understanding – children need to see and feel what they are learning about. Second is the attention to the “gradient,” which ensures sure students master one level before moving on to the next. Third is the “misunderstood word,” in which students master word definitions and are taught not to read past words they don’t know the meanings of in order to understand completely what they are reading and learning. NVA uses study technology as an umbrella methodology woven through the subjects.

And Defamer reports that at least six faculty members are deeply entrenched in the cult.

Kids who attend the $12,500-a-year school should be prepared to shell out a lot more than that over their lifetimes if they want to become proper Scientologists.

19
May

Ashlee and Pete: Officially Married, Preggers

ashlee_pete_pool.jpgAshlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got married on Saturday in a ceremony near Santa Barbara, Calif.

Interestingly enough, the couple reportedly announced at the Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding reception that Ashlee is three months along in that pregnancy rumor Wentz kept decrying as a “witch hunt.”

According to OK! magazine:

One wedding VIP who definitely won’t be boozing it up tonight is the bride, who sources tell OK! finally revealed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception.

Gives a whole new meaning to “through the rabbit hole.”

(Ew, I just grossed myself out.)




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