You know, why is it that some of the rare, vaguely humanized celebrities can stay out of the media just fine? Some people just go on their merry way, act in a movie or three, record a song, etc., and you hardly hear about their drama in tabloids.

The more the Lohans sob over how much publicity they don’t want, the more obvious it turns out they love the attention. No-one forced a gun to Dina nor Michael Lohan’s head telling them to make a TV show or pimp out their children, and as for Lindsay Blowhan, maybe she should put the bottle down (especially in a car. DUH!), start coming to her rehearsals, quit stealing, and quit f*cking everyone’s boyfriends.

The Blowhan family thrives on attention in their own little martyr-y way of persistently pining for sympathy, but if by some miracle, they all decide to f*ck off, I hope they won’t let the door hit them on the way out.

“You guys stay out of our lives, we want our privacy! Now which camera do I look into?”