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Archive for July 23rd, 2008

23
Jul

PETA’s Belfry Is Packed

Recently Batman made PETA’s “Top 10 Animal-Friendly Superheroes” list — and let’s just stop and think for a second about anyone seeing the need for a “Top 10 Animal-Friendly Superheroes” list — presumably because his costume is not made from actual bats. But now the Caped Crusader is on their guano list! They’ve decided he’s not so animal-friendly after all. Why? Well, it’s all very logical:

Batman is an icon, a superhero genius that beats up gun-toting thugs using only his iron fist of justice-—KA-POW! He looks damn good in pleather while owning the streets, yet in The Dark Knight, he was punching out dogs left and right. Sure, it was self-defense, but doesn’t the man with the James Bond gadgets know anything about peanut butter treats and deflecting devices?

I had my problems with the wildly overrated Batman sequel, but I wasn’t bored enough to think the franchise should have ended with Bruce Wayne being eaten alive by attack dogs.

And hey, it’s not like he abducted them under the pretense of finding them good homes, killed them, and left their corpses to rot in a dumpster behind a Piggly Wiggly. Don’t worry, PETA: the Dark Knight ain’t bitin’ your style.

(Hat tip: Deceiver reader Ben Kalish)

P.S. Besides which, they don’t say a word about all the people, actual human beings, the Joker killed in the movie. Presumably PETA is all in favor of that. Fewer people means fewer threats to all the poor precious animals, right?

P.P.S. Bloggasm talked to Christine Doré, the PETA employee who wrote that blog post, and asked her to explain. She was somewhat less than illuminating.

23
Jul

Sherri Shepard Should Learn the Words ‘Off the Record’

Sherri Shepard, one of the harpies on The View, had a field day during her interview with Precious Times, a magazine for black Christian women.

She talked about her wild lifestyle before converting to Christianity:

“I was in a very abusive relations. I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions that I would like to count. I have very low self esteem and just wanted to die.”

Then she found Jeebus, who qualified her to say this:

“Oh, sometimes I say, ‘Lord, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Myers would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved. I ask the Lord ‘Why am I here?’ I have to trust God when he says ‘Because I said so.’”

She… wants to exorcise Barbara Walters? AKA her Jewish/agnostic boss?

I know you can’t fire someone for being Christian, but what about when they call you the Devil in print?

(Sherri is pictured here with the Chippendales in Vegas last month. You can tell they’re religious because that one guy has a cross tat. Hell, maybe he could help even me find god!)

23
Jul

Calvin Klein Calling Eva Mendes Fat (for Real)

The Calvin Klein Underwear ad campaign starring Eva Mendes is out, just in time for the hefty September editions of every fashion mag. (More photos here.)

When CK announced their new Seductive Comfort bra line was for “fuller figure” women, I questioned their selection of Mendes, thinking it must have been a poor choice of words.

But no, apparently they really do think she’s fat:

Regarding the campaign’s image, [Calvin Klein president and CEO Tom] Murry said: “This is a departure from more slender body types that have typically been used in Calvin Klein Underwear ads. But this is not so much about a trend of being more curvaceous. This [bra] product is made for a curvaceous woman.”

Insofar as Kate Moss is no longer their body of choice, I get the idea. But Eva Mendes, being characterized as someone who isn’t slender?

These photos look absolutely no different than any other lingerie ad. I don’t see how any “curvaceous” women are supposed to understand that these bras are for them.

Epic fail.

23
Jul

Perez Be Hatin’

Why does Perez Hilton spend so much time in court? Maybe the courthouse has a really good cafeteria. The dullwitted, donut-demolishing diva’s latest target is a site called perezrevenge.com. According to the LA Times, Hilton (real name: Mario Lavandeira) is suing them for hurting his feelings. Whoops! I mean, he’s suing because:

The suit accuses the offenders of cyber-squatting and deceptive trade practices, with no reference to whether they look foolish in whatever they are wearing.

The defendants, who didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment, stand accused in the lawsuit of misleading the public by creating the impression that their site “is associated with and/or is otherwise authorized or endorsed by Lavandeira.”

A sound legal strategy. Here’s one of their attempts to make it look like Mario endorses them, from just yesterday:

Hey Perez, why did your VH1 show go off the air again? What were your Nielsen ratings? I have them, but unlike you, I won’t post them to make myself look better.

Posts like “The picture before and after that Blobber wouldn’t show” and “Wow. Mario Lavandeira is in denial” can only compound the problem. Or how about the lead-in to another recent post:

I am constantly surprised by the nonsensical rambling that I read at PerezHilton.com.

Imagine the audience’s confusion: “Wait, am I at PerezHilton.com right now? Or is this a Perez-approved site? There’s no possible way to tell!”

Mario claims he’s going after these people for piggybacking (no pun intended) on his, ahem, good name. A name he came up with all by himself, honest! He absolutely did not appropriate the name of somebody more famous to ooze his way into the spotlight. Nope, never happened…

(Hat tip: Deceiver reader Discordia)




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