Harry Dean Stanton is really, really old. He’s been acting (literally) since John McCain was a plebe in the U.S. Naval Academy. Which was just before the earth cooled.

So what the heck is Stanton doing complaining that McCain is “old and ill”? Especially considering that Stanton himself looks like something I saw on last week’s “Antiques Road Show.”

He’s so old and decrepit that when God said “Let there be light,” Stanton was the one who hit the switch.

He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

He’s so old that his first job waiting tables was at The Last Supper.

He’s so old that his Social Security number is 42.

He’s so old that his high-school portrait is painted on the inside of a cave in France.

He’s so old that when he started using cologne, they called it “New Spice.”

He’s so old that his first “Depends” were actually cloth diapers.

Click on the photo for the video from TMZ.

Can you add to the riff? Harry Dean Stanton (or John McCain, if you’d prefer) is so old…