UPDATE: For those of you who have asked privately (ahem…), the image at right is a Photoshop job. In other words, you can stop looking for an actual porn video of Jenna Jameson in a sexy nun’s habit. Sheesh!
When you’ve spent most of your adult professional life letting complete strangers pound your naughty bits to pieces while cameras roll, it’s hard to believe that your religious convictions are what guide you. But no one ever accused Jenna Jameson of being timid about anything. (Insert joke here about having “spunk.”)
I would have thought all that extended-play boot knocking would have positively shaken Jenna’s uterus off its engine-mounts by now, but guess who’s got a bun in the oven?
“Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible,” she tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. “I’m so happy!”
She adds that she and boyfriend of two years, mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, “are still in a state of shock” …
But the 34-year-old Jameson — who split from adult film studio owner Jay Grdina in 2006 and from porn star Brad Armstrong in 2001— said they have no plans to walk down the aisle.
“I think I’m gonna stay unmarried and just go for the babies!” she told Us. “I’m following in Angelina’s footsteps!” …
She previously told Us she discovered she was two months pregnant in November 2004 after being diagnosed with malignant melanoma. A day later, she miscarried due to the stress of cancer.
But the devout Catholic — who has tried in vitro — told Us, “It was all in God’s plan.”
What a punchline! She’s a devout Catholic? Sure — and I’m that Chinese guy who circled the Bird’s Nest stadium on a flying harness to light the Olympic torch. Really!
Let’s count the Catholic miscues in this picture. Pregnancy out of wedlock? Not exactly part of the Baltimore Catechism. In vitro fertilization? Rome sayeth it’s a sin. Jenna’s divorced — another Catholic no-no. And what’s with the porn queen endorsing her own line of condoms? Last time I checked, the Pope had a real problem with that.
Honestly, this level of self-deception almost makes her whole on-again, off-again relationship with PETA’s anti-leather schtick look understandable. The chick just doesn’t have a decent grasp of true and false.
There’s an old saying about how screaming “OhmyGOD” in bed a lot doesn’t make you a religious person. Maybe Jenna’s just confused. And I’ll let the rest of you wax philosophical about all the time she’s spent on her knees.





