So Jordin Sparks had a big moment last night at the MTV Video Music Awards, defending herself and the Jonas Brothers after British comedian and host Russell Brand (who you probably remember from Forgetting Sarah Marshall) made some cracks about purity rings.
Before her introduction of rapper T.I., she said (in video you can watch here):
“I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody –- guy or girl –- wants to be a slut.”
She got a few cheers from the audience and Brand tentatively apologized later in the broadcast.
But here’s my beef: As I began to question a few months ago, why is it that every time Jordin Sparks makes the news, it’s always about her chastity pledge?
Answer: Her songs are among the garbage that is polluting my radio station. Her debut album after winning American Idol totally bombed — scoring the worst sales for any AI winner since the show’s inception — and it seems to me like she needed a hook.
But bringing up her virginity at every opportunity doesn’t make her seem like an abstinence advocate, it makes her look like a marketing tool. Not to mention the irony that it just puts more sex front and center in the news.
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When someone talks often about one thing, they’re usually hiding something
Well, for the record, I wouldn’t hit it…
I don’t know if you can call bringing up her virginity and purity ring at every opprotunity making sex “front and center in the news”. Could it just be a marketing tool to keep her in the spotlight a bit longer since her music career isn’t doing too hot? Sure. But what’s the problem with that? I’d rather have teens seeing her and the Jonas Brothers pushing their purity rings as marketing tools rather than hearing about Lynne Spears’s book and seeing how the last teenage generations “pure” role model has been sleeping around since age 14. I dont know how calling teens to a higher standard is a bad thing, unless I missed something and teen pregnancy is no longer an issue.
I remember the whole purity thing…it worked real well for Disney alumnis Britney and LiLo.
So is everyone who has had sex before marriage is a slut? Sounds pretty stupid to me.
In this context, it seemed to be an appropriate comment. I commend her courage.
Well I for one am seeking of being disparaged for being slut!
It has been my life long dream to be the biggest man whore/slut I can be and it has not been an easy road to hoe. The pain I have endured, tears from broken hearts, friends lost due to infidelity, the shots and creams…my dreams have not been a walk in the park….
I’m all for some chaste role models, but I’m really freaking sick of how unless you wear a chastity ring, you must be a slut. If you have sex once, you’re a slut. If you don’t make a big damn deal about what personal sexual choices you make, you must be a slut.
No, you’re just not a virgin who likes to shove her self-importance in everyone’s face, not the same thing. I think it is fine for her to defend her chastity ring, honestly, but I hate how she had to phrase it in a way to make it seem like everybody who doesn’t commit to exactly the same thing she does in exactly the same way is a slut.
And Ethan- yes, teen pregnancy is a problem, but acting high-and-mighty about chastity rings (or talking about poor “fallen” girls like hannah fake-tannah) isn’t the cure for that problem. She’s sending an all or none message, and I’ve seen waaaaaay too many “abstinence is the only way” girls get pregnant to buy that at this point. When it gets that extreme, it almost encourages more promiscuous behavior, because this reinforces the “if you have sex, you’re a fallen slut and might as well go for broke” mentality. A lot of teenagers end up breaking those abstinence vows, and acting as if it’s all over for them at that point isn’t going to help much.
I just want to see all these ring bearers balanced out by a few responsible sex role models, I guess, if we’re insisting that musicians must be role models. If such a thing is possible. Why does it hafta be all or nothing all the time?
I’m the sort who would prefer keeping private stuff private as opposed to informing the world one way or another about your sex life. But I do understand why there are purity rings and stuff. It’s a reaction to the way society pushes sex-sex-sex on children, particularly through entertainment and advertising. If we’re unfortunate enough to live in a society where people look to entertainers and other celebrities as role models, maybe it doesn’t hurt to see you don’t need to be sexually active to be popular or successful.
There’s a difference between being a slut and test driving the car before purchase.
Now if only she were popular or successful…
Not hypocritical, just marketing.
Hypocritical would be if she said “stay a virgin, I’m a virgin”, then showed up at her next concert all “whale-runner’ed up”.
Its almost a musical category now… Pop stars who pretend to be virgins to sell records to kids.
Britney “I’m a virgin” (reality - I’m crazy)
Madonna “Like a virgin” (reality - all dried up)
Jessica Simpson “I’m a virgin” (reality - super creepy relationship with dad)
Jordin Sparks single biggest job duty is to sell records and if she uses her uncontested claims of virginity to do so, its really not hypocrisy.
And today’s award for moderation in reason goes to:
StrawberryGirl!
I was just surprised that people actually still watch MTV.
Also how can they have a VMA when 90% of their content has nothing to do with Music Videos?
I was once into that purity stuff. But then someone actually agreed to have sex with me. Does this make Bristal Palin a slut? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to leave her alone.
Here’s some hypocrisy.
Robert Deniro’s Nobu restaurants serving endangered Tuna.
A conservation group used DNA typing and discovered every single one of Deniro’s restaurant was serving an endangered fish for dinner.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/06/eatuna106.xml
Just a little at odds with his involvement with SOS (Save Our Selves, A Climate in Crisis), the co-sponsors of Deniro’s 2007 Tribeca Film Festival.
http://i33.tinypic.com/244wr5h.jpg
Reminds me of the 1990 Brando movie “the Freshman” where an elite group of “Gourmet Club” diners paid $10,000 each to dine on roasted Komodo Dragon tail. (Not his best work, watch the Godfather again instead).
So, let me see if I get the message here:
Responding to insults tossed at people who advocate morality is a terrible thing, but hurling those insults is great fun?
Such tolerance.
–Mike
Sure, I’m glad the girl wants to be a role model. But maybe Miss Jordin here should learn to use that lump of gray stuff in her skull before she opens her mouth on TV.
Jordin Sparks can’t even sing. Seriously.
When she said that, she was talking about Richard Brand. In England he is a a male slut. He’s slept with A LOT of women…
Thank you Fortunate Son. Now if only that had been the topic of this post.
Public displays of virginity still draw attention to teenagers’ sexuality; just because it preaches something “better” doesn’t mean it’s doing the right thing. The issue of famous teenagers’ sexual activity should never have become an issue.
Also, isn’t “slut” technically an offensive word? I mean, I know censorship is pretty bigoted nowadays and “bitch” and “slut” make it to primetime while “shit” is still muted out, but I would think someone as chaste as Jordin Sparks might choose to say “promiscuous” instead.
Yeah, I see Mike Bratton’s point here.
A one-time televised forum where she was insulted in front of a live audience about a specific topic.
Her opportunity to address that topic in front of that audience is time sensitive, so she’s really got no choice but to respond immediately or grin and bear it forever.
The only question is why are the Jonas Brothers such little bitches they had to send Jordin Sparks out to fight for them?
Jordin’s remarks following Brand’s comments were appropriate.
Kind of like using hand sanitizer after someone wipes sh** on your hands.
I’m sure she could’ve said “promiscuous” Anon but she was at the MTv VMA’s, don’t want people confused.
I’m not a lot of MTV’s general audience can speel “promiscuous” Rocko.
P.S. WTF is this about Paris Hilton defending them?
I don’t think this is an issue for Deceiver to discuss - it wasn’t hypocritical, she just didn’t say it in a very nice way, now did she?
I agree with some of the other commenters here - I don’t begrudge her for speaking up. Honestly, she wasn’t the one who brought the subject of promise rings up, it was Brand, the host. She had every right to stand up and defend herself and her choice. I commend her for that.
But, I also agree that she didn’t say it very nicely at all - I think it was completely wrong of her to suggest that everyone who isn’t a virgin is a slut. So she chose the wrong word, that doesn’t make her a hypocrite. Now if she really does believe that everyone who doesn’t wear a purity ring is a slut, then yeah, that’s wrong. But I think that’s leaping to a grand conclusion given the circumstances under which she said what she said.
I really wish the whole world could stop, take a breath, and realize that for the most part, extremes don’t really help anyone - either the extreme of Russell Brand (who, in his own words, a little bit of sex really did end up hurting him), or the extreme of Jordin Sparks who uses her virginity as a marketing tool. Can’t we find some moderation here? Isn’t there a happy medium in there somewhere?
That said, I am a little disappointed in you, Deceiver - this wasn’t an issue of hypocrisy.
D-,
I applaud your commitment. Your bravery inspires me.
“Responding to insults tossed at people who advocate morality is a terrible thing, but hurling those insults is great fun?”
Yes.
The Jonas Bros do the samething! I do have a purity ring, but I don’t flaunt it. My fam alright had the teen pregger w/ sister of mine 14 yrs ago, now I love all 10 of my nieces and nephews but I’m not ready for that.
Not everybody wants to be a slut? STFU, Jordin Sparks, did you not realize what TV station you were on? The majority of MTV show dramas are about who slept with whom… or didn’t… or will… or wants to…
(So……………………………..maybe she does have a good message that it’s okay to wear a promise ring, but insulting everybody else who doesn’t wear one wasn’t necessary.)
I don’t have a problem with her defending the purity ring thing, even though I personally think that they are a joke given that most people that wear them have sex within a year of taking the abstinence vow. What I have a problem is her self righteous attitude toward anyone that doesn’t wear one, basically lumping them all into the “slut” category. Her catty little comeback only tells me one thing. She was probably taking it up every available space immediately after the show.
You gotta forgive me because until recently I knew absolutely nothing about Jordin Sparks until I endured those insufferable three hours known as the VMAs, so I didn’t know she was really on her soapbox about virginity.
I kind of liked what she said, but kind of didn’t.
I don’t agree that losing your virginity before marriage makes you a slut. You don’t need to be married to someone in order to know them on an intimate enough level in which sex is acceptable (well, in my situation anyhow…I don’t condemn casual sex concerning other people’s affairs, but that’s a tale for another campfire).
I think the comment probably struck a chord and caused her to say something disagreeable. I *do* think it’s a little bit ridiculous that being a young adult, that being a virgin is constantly mocked. I think it might have pissed her off because the way the comment was made came off as incredibly ignorant and condescending…but, then again, consider the source. It didn’t shock me in the least MTV offered an ignorant jackass to host their “awards show”.
Nobody wants to sleep with Jordin anyways.She needs to buy herself a sense of humor instead of another purity ring.
I completely agree with you Christina X. Sooo the fact that my boyfriend and I made promises to each other to stay faithful but we don’t have nice little rings and we still have sex before marriage makes us sluts? Please.
I’m all for the whole purity thing because I do think it’s a strong thing to carry with you. But when people like Miss Spakrs or Miley Cyrus yap yap yap about it constantly, it gets suspiscious. And trust me, those Miley pictures speak for themselves. But if you’re going to talk about a serious subject like this, do it at a respectable channel.
Sorry for all the spelling errors, I’m hungover.
All this kinda makes you want to put on Jonas Bros. and Jordin Sparks CDs and pull a train. However, that music really kills the mood.
I think she wanted to sound funny but she sounded like a mean spirited idiot , just because someone made the decision to have sex that does not make them a slut.
Most of the person that use purity rings broke their promise in least than a year.
She should have say not everyone want to be sexualy active or Some people want to wait until marriage.
I know there’s a lot of “this isn’t hypocritical” but I still see it…anytime anyone gets on the “i’m pure” bandwagon, then uses their sexual status to sell…it’s vague, but it’s there. If you’re chaste, and sex isn’t part of your life, maybe try to focus on something else? Otherwise you’re still stuck in the same sex-sationalism. Especially if you’re willing to use the same charged language. I guess I see hypocrisy in anybody who makes a big damn deal about being different and not all about sex, but doesn’t shy away from all of that talk.
Heck, I’m just glad to be gossiping about celebrities again, and not politicians. Can we just enjoy it?
I think the thing that bothers me about what she said is that it lacked class. Why did she have to stoop to his level and make a hurtful comment? Why not take the high road? It also makes her seem holier-than-thou, which may have hurt her career. She should have said it’ what her personal choice, and she isn’t ashamed. That way she would have make him look like a dirt bag with bringing herself down to his level. Honestly, I wouldn’t have said anything because who the really cares what that dude thinks. Actually now that I think about it, she let him get her goat so she lost the minute she opened her mouth.
what’s with all the Russell hate?? I thought it was funny.
she needs to chill out. they were just jokes.
and even if she believes her response was warranted, her phrasing was not. that’s a nice way to alienate almost all of your fans.
Does breast cancer survivors wearing the pink pin demean them? Is it self-righteous? Why all the judgement? Because you know its wrong thats why, yes sex before marriage thats what were talking about and you don’t like to be reminded of that. Convince yourself that she is the prude, the self righteous bitch, the extremist. You, you’re just normal..right.
Anonymous, wearing the ring isn’t self-righteous. Don’t get confused, this isn’t about her wearing a purity ring or even wanting to stay a virgin, it’s about her calling people down for their sexual choices. Which is what Brand did, which makes what she said even more tacky. We expect that kind of behavior from him, not from her. If she wants to give an image of self-respect and dignity she should try applying those ideals to others and not just herself. Oh and saying that someone is a slut because they had sex before marriage is extremist comment you asshat. So the both of you are extremist. Good job.
I was reading an article the other day which claimed that England was the “worst” place to grow up, because the teenagers there are apparently WAY more likely to experiment with sex, drugs and drinking. I have no idea whether or not it’s true, but maybe this gives Russell Brand an excuse? I mean, maybe the whole ring idea just sounds insane to a Brit? I’m married to a Brit, but he’s spent too much time here to know what it’s like growing up in England.
That being said, I saved myself for marriage. My high school had a ridiculously high pregnancy rate the year I graduated (almost 40% of girls either had children by graduation, or had one on the way. You’ve never seen so many pregnancy prom dresses in your life!) and I saw that they just officially ruined their life. They might have had a better chance if they weren’t from my hometown, which is a black hole of corn and pregnant teenagers, and I couldn’t let myself turn out that way.
But I would never, ever interfere in someone’s choice. I could really care less what the hell you people do, or don’t do, or whatever. I think it’s tacky and that sex should be a more private matter in society. But then again, I’m a total prude.
Christina-
You sat through all three hours?! I’m so sorry.
I found myself very sleepy after the first half hour.
As the parent of teens, I am thankful that there are role models out there, telling them that it is ok to say no to sex. Now, on the other hand, as someone else commented, I don’t exactly agree with her Jordan’s comment about everyone else being, “sluts”. That right there didn’t sound very classy! But yes, all in all, I’m glad to see these kids, who are looked up to by so many others, being brave enough to come out and say that it is ok not to follow the crowd.
Jlynn-
Yes, I did, but mostly because I was too damn lazy to get up and change the channel.
My eyes couldn’t be rolled any further back in my head.
at various points in m life i have occupied all rungs on the virgin to slut ladder so i know for sure that you don’t have to be one or the other. and no i do not like capital letters.
I love these blanket statements. Whatever happened to sex ed? Sure, teenagers have the choice to drive, get married, and work jobs, but apparently not to be educated thoroughly about other choices in their lives. Ones that are often more interesting than working at McDonalds if I remember correctly. There is no reason for this Jordan character to be preaching anything at all on mainstream television. She should shut her trap and go back to making bad music for the God Botherers if she wants to preach. And noone needs a ring to advertise their sexual choices. Oh, and is there a particular sort of ring for those of us who have decided that our choices for sex are a little more liberal? I think a charm bracelet to mark every sexual milestone would be a good idea, although that could get heavy…
Notelling,
My friends and I use to burn a candel. One hour of light for everytime we had sex. With our boyfriends mind you. I don’t know too many girls who go out and do the one night stand thing. Not that I’m judging, just can’t get that comfortable with a stranger.
Having sex with someone is a personal decision. Whether you decide to a abstain from having sex until you’re married, until a certain age.. whenever you decide to have sex.. it is YOUR decision. Having religion or society shoving their opinions on when the “appropriate” age to have sex is wrong. Sending out the message that you’re a “slut”, if you don’t believe to take the path she has decided to.. really pissed me off.