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From the NYT Diner’s Journal:
More news from the breast milk beat: PETA is urging the makers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to replace cow’s milk with human breast milk, to lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health at the same time.
That’s right: Exploiting cows bad, exploiting humans good.
It could be a great marketing opportunity for Ben & Jerry’s, though. Especially if they could get some celebrities to lend their names:
- Angelina Jelly
- Jennifer Love Chewit
- Winona Ryder Ripple
- S’mores & Sarandon
- Dolly Parfait
- Laura San Giacomo Crunch
- Scarlett Fudgehansson
- Flava Mendes
- Jessica Albutter Pecan
Okay, now you try.
Update: Almond Hayek, Caramel Gugino, and Heath-Bar Graham. And from the comments: Marzipan Anderson, Halle Strawberry, and of course, Banana Nicole Smith.
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Yeah Not big on PETA, But I’d try Britney Spearmint, or Xtina Xtasy for the sheer excitment of knowing this milk touched their boobies…
Sorry, have to get back to internet porn, later!
Sure, I’ll hook my wife up. How much does it pay?
PETA sucks. Sure, lets worry about some cows being exploited and forget about the millions of humans raped, starved, beaten, tortured and killed every day. Oh, wait. I guess PETA would call me a speciesist for caring about humans more than animals. Buttheads.
why don’t we just use human breast milk for baby cows, just to level the playing fields
How sad… I think it’s great that PeTA is trying to make sure animals are well, but it seems they try some desperate tricks sometimes… And this is just gross!
Bristol Praline
And…ewwwww. These people get more and more idiotic daily.
Maybe they could feed these lactating women certain foods to “enhance the flavor” of their breast milk–you know, one room of women hooked up to milking machines and eating nothing but chocolate, another room with women eating cherries….
What about PapAya Sugimoto? It could be a big seller.
Publicity stunt by Peta, and we just “fed the monster”.
Nutmeg Ryan?
GoVegDotCom, err, I mean GoMeg, Would that be subjecting the cows to something they wouldn’t want with out their permission? I mean, you would’t want to torture the cows would you?
Maybe PEAT is on to something this time…I like boobies…
Brandy Carlile
Jennifer Tillychee
Marilyn Mon-Rocky-Road
So-vanilla Loren
Yummi Rogers
Elizabeth Peanut Butter Swirley
Almond Aereola
Great, whatever….WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO COVER THE PALIN AFFAIR THAT’S BREAKING IN THE ENQUIRER? OR ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND ON THAT ONE?
I’ll be going to ColdStone, thanks.
jenna jam-in-some
amanda beardless clam
marziPam anderson
How about Liza Minilla? Too creepy?
Obviously there are no actual moms at PETA, or they would know how hard it is to pump breast milk and (often) how little you actually get. But hey, maybe we could set up factories in developing countries in which new moms are paid $2/day to leave their babies and get hooked up to machines. And the factories wouldn’t even have to pay for their feed like they do for animals! What a triumph for PETA and exploiting capitalists everywhere.
On a more practical note, have they even established that it’s actually possible to use breast milk to make ice cream?
When I saw Laura San Giacomo on that list, I was confused. But then I realized what all those actresses have in common. Still, I question whether Winona Ryder is really part of that cadre.
Christina Ricci Lychee?
“WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO COVER THE PALIN AFFAIR THAT’S BREAKING IN THE ENQUIRER? OR ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND ON THAT ONE?”
Ha! Ha! Ha! lisa is a moron! lisa is a moron!
Kris posted this on a buried thread.
On Monday we my whole office watched the Tina Fey Palin SNL skit on the plasma in the conference room. For equity, today at lunch we cued this up, its quite danceable.
John Edwards “I kissed a girl video”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEVSAYNWX5s
OOH! I got one! How about Sean Connery Mango.
Man I’m not good at these things.
Blaspheme!
Even the animals are rolling their eyes at PETA now.
Anon (use a real name)
Funny you mention ethics, since PeTA has NADA with their tactics. Besides do the dogs and cats that are slaughtered by PeTA in Norfolk ask for permission before being dumped behind the Piggly-Wiggly?
Amazing you just picked up on my name. ::applauds::
I’ll take a Double-D Cone.
They just validated my point; everything that is not tested on animals is tested on humans.
Halle StrawBerry
Jessica Simpson Swirl
Banana Nicole Smith…too soon?
I finally got it!
Chocolate Ice Cream Made From Real Human Breast milk!!
*waits - hears crickets*
Never mind I give up.
Bananna Nicole Smith for the win.
Actually, I don’t think you can top Bananna Nicole Smith. Unless you made it with a milk substitute and gave it away with every AARP membership.
“jennifer love chewit” hahahahahaaaaaaaa
i saw this story on dlisted.com yesterday and laughed. however, the picture that went with it did not make me laugh. it made me scream: http://dlisted.com/files/chichimilkicecream1.jpg
*screams again*
I have something to add: *Vomits*
um…I once milked cows at a dairy..sometimes the milker would fall off if a cow sneezed and it would fall into the cowpatties..and keep on sucking!!! Yeppers..the poop would get sucked right in with the milk. Yeah..they had filters on the machines…but….
People milk would not have this problem..yet, it is so not rich enough to even churn into ice cream.You need butterfat in it, otherwise you wind up with a Slurpy..
My stomach turned unpleasantly at these comments. ]:
PETA. Dysfunctional, self loathing, psychopathic crackpots who should be in therapy, not given a national forum to bray their current ravings. The membership, based on my perceptions, consists largely of women who have a history of failed human relationships and who now fixate on their pets as substitutes for the relations that we are hard wired to have.
I give you Pam whats her name, the canadian media whore who is constitutionally unable to engage in a normal human relationship and has pojected her failings to the rest of us and our decision to eat meat. As she gets older, it appears she is becoming desperate. Sad, really.
PETA! Better I eat chicken than PETAs.
BDubya is onto something! I’ve known several people that worked for PETA and they were all dysfunctional. None were moms and or in successful relationships with humans. They wouldn’t even eat marshmallows b/c they are made from horse’s hooves. They were pretty ridiculous.
I’m all for protecting animals but I can’t see exploiting humans and babies to do so. Humans are at the top of the food chain…that’s just how it works. Sorry, PETA.
P.S. Why don’t they just ask Pam Whatsherface to supply the milk? Oh, I forgot, hers aren’t real.
Some non-celeb flavors:
Titti-Frutti
Bra-berry
Boob-berry
Au Natural Vanilla
Melon Melon
Saggy Sassafras
Ice MILF
How will women be exploited by this idea? PETA aren’t suggesting that they be chained up and milked without their consent, and it is disengenuous to suggest - as this blog is - that they are. Women have a choice, cows do not. That is the difference. It may be a bit tough for this crowd to understand that though. Not the brightest bunch.
Chris, you’re typical. It’s people like you who don’t see the cause and effect of such suggestions. There are people dumb enough to support themselves by selling their breast milk. The only way to do it is to stay pregnant. What do you do with the unwanted babies, who don’t have a choice? Guess you never thought about that, huh?
Normally, I like to keep abreast of the news. But this story is just trading tit for tat. And your commenters are being udderly ridiculous. Personally, I think you’re just milking this story, and you can do better. I mean, is this the cream of the crop? You should knock(er) it off. I, personally, have had all the punishment I can stand.
tee hee
Marshmallows are made from horses’ hooves?
I do hope B&J tries this. They’ll go out of business in a day, lefty jackasses. And yes, Coldstone Creamery!
I agree with Chris that women are not cows.
Here’s a suggestion that doesn’t follow the female celebrity theme:
Soylent Cream
There’s a Japanese TV show that accepts viewers’ requests for help in achieving things. The program once baked a cake using human breast milk, but I don’t think mass production was the goal. And everyone who partook said did so a bit reluctantly but they all said it tasted OK.
Buttery Nipplescotch
Juicy Lawless
Tina Feyberry
Mammary Marshmallow
Condi Rice Pudding
This has to be a joke?! Not eating meat and diary products has really mushed up their brains.
GimmeaBreak
“The only way to do it is to stay pregnant.”
A woman can lactate without ever being pregnant. Taking Domperidone or Reglan, women who are adopting can lactate so their adopted children can get the benefits of breast feeding. They can get themselves started by pumping prior to their child even being in the home. Since I am not a doctor, I have no idea how long this could go on. As someone who had to pump for hours to stimulate production to feed my premature newborn daughter (her cheeks weren’t quite developed enough for the first 3 weeks) I don’t recommend it as a career path.
“The only way to do it is to stay pregnant. What do you do with the unwanted babies, who don’t have a choice? Guess you never thought about that, huh?”
Just recently, I saw a story on the news about “lactation queens.” Apparently, they keep themselves constantly pregnant then dump the babies off in a sewer somewhere to be raised or eaten by alligators. It seems inhumane, but they are making 6 figures so it’s a living.
Sarcasm aside, you may want educate yourself by talking to someone affiliated with the La Leche league. They’ll do their best to keep you nursing your 10 year old because, BREAST IS BEST.
*Sigh*
Its not exploiting humans to use their milk. Humans can CONSENT and cows can’t.
Also, women can lactate for several years after a birth… Don’t believe me? Google up “long term breast-feeding” & you will find women who’ve breast-fed their children up to like, age 8. A cow can lactate for about 300 days. Quite a difference.
We already have industries in place for the sale of sperm, ovaries, surrogacy services, plasma donation… What PETA suggests is nothing different.
By the way, your beloved dairy products are like 30% pus or something like that. Yuck!
Yes, we’ve heard all the propaganda.