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Archive for October, 2008

31
Oct

Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Dieting Secrets

Ugh, I think I speak for most people when I say I have an overpowering dislike for Gwyneth Paltrow’s self-righteous yammering. She’s a fine actress — or she was at one point — but whenever I see some story about her opening her trap about how you, too, can emulate her perfect life if only you’d just try harder, I get grouchier than Rosie O’Donnell with PMS.

So she just sent out an email to readers of GOOP.com, a website of her tips for a healthier and happier life (which, by the by, she hasn’t updated since it launched more than a month ago).

HuffPo has the full missive — I’m not going to repost it here because you probably have other things to do today — but two of the tips are daily 12-hour fasts and avoiding “white foods,” such as anything made with flour, sugar, or milk.

Extreme, right? So extreme that even Gwyneth herself doesn’t adhere to it:

Gwyneth Paltrow makes being svelte look easy, but the actress tells Oprah Winfrey that she finds it nearly impossible to stick to a diet.

“I just cannot diet,” Paltrow, 35, says on The Oprah Winfrey show airing Wednesday. “I think maybe it’s the idea that you can’t have something … I just can’t do it.”

But we should, right? Way to set the bar impossibly high, Gwyn.

30
Oct

Hayden Says: “Let Them Eat Sushi”

You know how Obama told that plumber dude he wanted to “spread the wealth around”? And then everybody went after the plumber dude for some reason, but then they were like, “Hey, wait a minute, back up. Senator Obama, could you explain that whole ’spread the wealth around’ thing, please?” And then Obama explained it, but he said only rich people are going to get taxed, so don’t worry about it? But now the definition of “rich” keeps getting less and less, um, rich?

Well, if you like Obama but you don’t like higher taxes, Deceiver fave Hayden Panettiere has a simple solution: Deal with it!

“I don’t know if anyone would complain about under-taxing to be completely honest,” Panettiere told CNSNews.com. “Personally, I’d rather have higher taxes and help other people who need those tax breaks more.”

Ain’t she a saint, folks? She’s like Mother Teresa, but without all the gross wrinkles and stuff. And smarter:

Panettiere, 19, thinks many young people have gotten involved with this year’s presidential election because of the celebrities who chose to publicly endorse a presidential candidate.

“One of the major reasons why, especially young people, have come out and done so much to play a part in this election — and who are really getting out there and voting this time around — is because of the celebrity endorsements, because of how popular this election has become, and how much in the news, and how much it’s taken over, you know, our society,” said Panettiere, who plays “Claire Bennett” on the hit NBC Show, “Heroes.”

Yeah, you remember which other election some genius-level celebrity said that very same thing about? Every single one. And they were wrong every single time.

But let’s say she’s right. Let’s say you vote how she wants you to vote. What if it means paying more taxes? Well, duh. Just have your accounting team take care of it. That’s what you hired them for, right? And while they’re dealing with that boring stuff: shopping! Problem solved, Hayden-style.

Martha Stewart said something equally brilliant about Obama’s tax plan, but she’s old and irrelevant and can’t heal from gunshot wounds and radiation burns like Hayden can, so I don’t care. Save any dolphins lately, Martha? Mm-hmm, didn’t think so.

30
Oct

The Shortest John Edwards Post in the History of Deceiver.com

No wedding ring?

30
Oct

Alec Baldwin Wants A Kinder, Gentler Nation

In Hollywood as in Washington, spite and malice are more than just a card game. And Alec Baldwin has had enough. (*Giggle*)

Here’s the great peacemaker of 30 Rock last night on Letterman talking about the upcoming election:

“If John McBush and Bible Spice win, we have to find a way to come together as a country, because we can’t let it be the way it’s been the last 8 years where there’s been this acrimony and this bitterness. We have to find a way somehow to do that.”

Acrimony and bitterness? It’s a good thing calling people infantile names doesn’t count. Imagine the media crap-storm that would arise if Alec’s brother Stephen (an ardent right-winger) had called a certain presidential candidate “Commie OMuslim.”

Okay … “Bible Spice” was clever. I’ll give him that.

But Alec Baldwin is the last guy who should be lecturing America about avoiding acrimony and bitterness. Just ask his daughter.

The big Democrat donor says he may run for office himself someday. So Baldwin’s recent rant that “This Congress is a disgrace, Democrat and Republican” seems like ill-timed acrimony and bitterness to me. Politicians tend to feign amnesia about how they voted on things and which promises they broke, but this is the sort of stuff they remember.

(Hat Tip: Celebitchy)

30
Oct

Jenna Elfman Would Like You to Know Something

Generic blonde actress Jenna Elfman is probably better known for her associations with Scientology than for, say, her role on Dharma & Greg. She’s known to go overboard about her love for all things Xenu like the time she freaked out at a guy wearing a tee-shirt suggesting Tom Cruise is gay.

Well she wants you to know that if you doubt the divine authority of a science-fiction writer with delusions of grandeur who started his own religion as a business opportunity, you can go to Scientology hell:

“If someone starts talking to me negatively about something they’ve never actually studied that actual text of, I don’t really admire them very much because it shows they don’t have much integrity, so I just kind of ignore them,” Elfman told AAP in Sydney.

That’s quite a high standard. It’s just like how she was an expert on human health when she proclaimed “AIDS is a state of mind, not a disease.” That, by the way, was to explain why she refused to sign an autograph as part of a fundraising drive for pediatric AIDS patient care.

Take THAT, sick kids! You just didn’t know enough about thetans to be worth the ink!

29
Oct

$ Better $ Late $ Than $ Never $

Gee … it seems like months and months ago that this humble blog first blew the whistle on Barack Obama for breaking his campaign pledge to work within the limits of the public campaign-financing system during his presidential run.

Oh, wait. It was months and months ago. Back in June, actually. Our own Holly was really on top of things. And CNN’s Campbell Brown is just catching up.

Last night on her “No Bias, No Bull” show, Brown had this to say:

Without question, Obama has set the bar at new height with a truly staggering sum of cash. And that is why as we approach this November, it is worth reminding ourselves what Barack Obama said last November.

One year ago, he made a promise. He pledged to accept public financing and to work with the Republican nominee to ensure that they both operated within those limits.

Then it became clear to Sen. Obama and his campaign that he was going to be able to raise on his own far more cash than he would get with public financing. So Obama went back on his word.

He broke his promise and he explained it by arguing that the system is broken and that Republicans know how to work the system to their advantage. He argued he would need all that cash to fight the ruthless attacks of 527s, those independent groups like the Swift Boat Veterans. It’s funny though, those attacks never really materialized.

The Washington Post pointed out recently that the bad economy has meant a cash shortage among the 527s and that this election year they have been far less influential.

The courageous among Obama’s own supporters concede this decision was really made for one reason, simply because it was to Obama’s financial advantage.

(Click here for the video — Thanks to CNN’s rocket scientists for making the darned thing so hard to embed in Wordpress, by the way…)

I was most surprised by former U.S. Senator Bob Kerry’s frank admission in yesterday’s New York Post that Obama, a fellow Democrat, deserves to wear a scarlet “H”:

A hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue - who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. And that, it seems to me, is what we’re doing now.

Yessir — Senator Obama is counting his money, and spending it. On infomercials that might delay the World Series for an extra half-hour tonight. (That’s bound to be popular…)  Meanwhile, the rest of us can get busy figuring out how much our federal income taxes are going to go up, despite the candidate’s promise that they won’t.

Confused yet? Me too. But in just six more days, we’ll all be pleasantly reassured by someone that everything will be okay. It happens every four years, right?

29
Oct

Hayden Panettiere Makes Hypocrisy Adorable

YouTube Preview Image

Just remember this the next time she tries to sell you beauty products that have been tested on animals, not to mention shoes and handbags made from their skins. Or when you see her chowing down on sushi. Hey, those animals should have thought about that before they decided not to be as cute as dolphins. Besides, when have they ever put money in Hayden’s pocketbook?

29
Oct

Hilary Duff Fails At Being A Sexy Pop Star

YouTube Preview Image

Hilary Duff and her giant fake teeth have released a new “sexy” music video.

In addition to ruining a perfectly good Depeche Mode song, she seems to be trying to shed her goodie-goodie image like everyone knows you have to do in order to succeed after a long Disney career. She also signed on for a role as a slutty pop star in John Cusack’s upcoming movie War Inc., which seems to have gone straight to DVD.

However, she’s just not good at being sexy. Apparently unable to dance, in the video La Duff mostly writhes around in a variety of Victorian outfits and gropes a male model. Yawn.

Hilary’s always been quick to point out who’s a “good girl” and who’s bad to the bone — in case you were wondering, Miley and Hilary = good, Lindsay and Avril = bad.

So why the sudden change of heart do you think? Is she just tired of polishing that halo?

28
Oct

First Rule of Anti-Fur Protests: Don’t Wear Anything That Looks Like Fur

Today at a Barnes & Noble bookstore in New York City, Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen had a book signing for their new coffee table volume, titled Influence. (Racked has the list of “rules” handed out to more than 2,000 autograph-seekers. It’s entertaining.)

And outside, a bunch of animal rights protesters from PETA dressed up in scary Halloween masks to protest the Olsen twins.

Why? Because they use fur in their clothing designs. (Even more entertaining.)

Pop quiz: Where could you actually find a fur-trimmed garment? Inside at the book signing? Or outside in the protest zone? (Don’t answer too quickly.)

At right is a shot of the twins in the bookstore. Leather pants? Check. Suede shoes? Check. But no fur.

And here’s the scene outside:

Whaaa? Let’s zoom in on that third protester from the right…

Nice trim. I don’t even care if it’s “fake” fur. If you’re running with PETA, making sure people know you’re holier-than-thou should be Job One. Point goes to the Olsens (and normal people everywhere).

My philosophy about fake fur is the same as my thinking about fake boobs. If they look real, they’re real enough.

The last word goes to FashionIndie:

The next time PETA gathers to protest, I think they should tell their supporters to avoid wearing fake fur…it just isn’t getting the anti-fur message across. Sorry PETA, you may have started this war, but it looks like you lost your first battle. Fur is fur and fur is fashion. You’ve got other issues to worry about…like the meat purse

28
Oct

Carnie Wilson Flips A Coin, It Comes Up Skinny This Time

Carnie “The Media Is Obsessed With My Weight” Wilson is happy to report that she’s lost 50 pounds. Again.

She did it! After starting a diet and exercise program in the spring, Carnie Wilson has taken off nearly 50 pounds, with OK! documenting every step of the way. When we first visited Carnie in March, she admitted that she had “hit rock bottom” with her weight and ballooned to 208 pounds.

After gastric bypass surgery in 1999, she went from 300 pounds to 146. Sadly, Carnie slipped back into bad habits through the years. But now, after following a sensible regimen, she’s at a healthy 160 and is determined to keep the weight off.

Good for her, although does anyone else find it completely obnoxious that her bread and butter (heh) seems to be seeking out media attention regarding her weight fluctuations?

“It is very hard being in the public eye, being scrutinized for every pound”? Bullcrap. Only when the press is negative.

Otherwise, just like Jennifer Love Hewitt, she’s all too willing to eat it right up.

(Thanks to reader Salmarinello for the tip!)




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