Okay … True confession time. I’ve never seen “Clerks.” Never saw “Clerks II” either. Same with “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” So I guess I’m not much of an authority on Kevin Smith movies. But I’m pretty sure that the most controversial thing in his films isn’t supposed to be the freaking title.

The Philadelphia public-transit system has refused to run ads for Smith’s newest movie. And the Fox Sports network has yanked trailer-commercials for the flick.

Why? Because the word “porno” is part of the title.

Spare me.

One complaint came from a man watching a game in September with his young son, who did not understand a suicide-squeeze bunt the Dodgers tried, [Dodgers spokesman Josh] Rawitch said. “He was explaining to his son what a squeeze bunt was. Commercial break, the ad comes on, and the kid asks, ‘Dad, what does porno mean?”’ Rawitch said …

The city of Philadelphia refused “Zack and Miri” posters at bus stops. Similar posters at Boston bus stops have drawn complaints …

I’m no child psychology expert. But the last time I was in the City of Brotherly Love (and why have a nickname that’s suggestive of incest anyway?) I remember seeing this ad on a Philly bus stop:

Yessirree, Bob.  That’s some family-friendly advertising there.

And just six months ago, SEPTA (the agency that runs Philadelphia’s transit system) defended its decision to accept advertising for the Grand Theft Auto IV videogame. Apparently, the words “grand theft” don’t set a sufficiently bad example.

And as for Fox Sports, well … Here’s a commercial they didn’t pull off the air.

Anyone want to answer his son when he asks “Dad, what’s ‘The old hidden ball trick?”