Holly blogged last week about how Gwyneth Paltrow offended the animal kingdom’s High Priests at PETA — and then publicly apologized — for daring to model a stole made of fox fur in an ad campaign for the Italian luxury brand Tod’s.
In her mea culpa, Paltrow claimed that a stylist plopped the garment on her in the middle of a busy photo shoot, and her only real sin was failing to ask whether it was “real” or fake”:
“It was a daylong photo shoot on a boat near Capri, and there were all sorts of poses with all kinds of clothes—none with fur. During one set-up, a stylist came up from behind and draped a stole around my shoulders. I didn’t pay much attention to it, and when I noticed it was fur I assumed it was fake fur but did not ask, so it’s my fault.
It turns out that Paltrow also modeled a pair of fur-trimmed boots in the Tod’s ad campaign, which kinda blows the whole “sneaky stylist” excuse out of the water.
But the plot thickens. London’s Sunday Independent reported today that Gwyneth sends out free subscriber e-mails to fans who sign up at her website, Goop.com. And her latest missive outlines a Thanksgiving dinner that — well, let’s just say it won’t please anyone in the Tofurky fan club.
Sure enough, HuffPo reproduced that e-mail on Thursday. Here’s a paragraph that Paltrow will be apologizing for next week:
Turkey will always be the main event of Thanksgiving (at least in my house) and a whole turkey is the way to go if you’re feeding at least 12. But if your party is smaller, the stuffed turkey breast turns out to be a great halfway point. Brining it overnight insures that you don’t need to baste it and it has a quick cooking time. Why should things be any less festive if dinner is just for two? I came up with these stuffed turkey burgers which were a giant hit in my house. They are the perfect solution for anyone who isn’t feeding a big group (or for a big group that wants to try something different!).
Mmmm… Stuffed turkey burgers.
Funny — Just six months ago, Paltrow told V magazine that she was strictly a non-meat-eater:
I haven’t eaten meat for about fifteen years. I eat fish, a little bit of dairy — not much milk — but I love cheese. We’ll make chocolate chip cookies and eat them, but sugar makes me feel pretty bad. I have coffee and wine. I’ve got lots of lovely vices.
The cartoon angel on my right shoulder thinks Gwyneth, like most of Hollywood, is just not sophisticated enough to figure out how PETA operates and what its leaders really want. The cartoon devil on my left, however, suspects that one of her “handlers” floated the fur apology last week in order to make it harder for PETA to beat her up about eating turkey this week.
Both of the cartoon characters think Paltrow doesn’t understand that turkey is, in fact, meat.
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“I haven’t eaten meat for about fifteen years. I eat fish”
I hear vegetarians say this ALL the time. When did fish stop being a meat? Did I miss a meating?(hehe) Or is it just red meat that’s evil now?
PALTROW.
there you go again.
what a complete moron! i too remember her saying that her and her husband follow a strict vegan diet. ummm turkey isn’t vegan.
Well, at least, she’s TRYING to excuse herself. Pamela Anderson don’t have that decency.
i’ll bet she won’t share her personal wealth with me, either.
I don’t remember the exact conversation, but it seems to me that she mentioned to Jonathan Ross that she was no longer a vegan a few months ago.
My guess is she doesn’t write the emails that go out. Do you really think she sat down and typed up some cooking advice for Thanksgiving? That email paragraph sounded like something out of a trendy cookbook rather than a starlet’s mouth.
Paltrow didn’t write about turkey. I bet it was the same person who writes every other subscriber email from goop.com.
Paltrow’s name reminds me of old Batman fight words: pal-TROW!!!
Does anyone really believe that Princess Gwynnie actually COOKS anything??
I don’t even believe she ever eats anything, much less cooks it.
You know,as I sit here in my chinchilla boxers and my coonskin cap,eating KFC and drinking from my mink-skull goblet,whilst sitting on my ocelot skin divan,I’m reminded of the fact that PETA has mobile euthenasia vans that travel the country,putting defenseless cat and dogs to death.
Gweneth’s lying.
Know how I know?
Because I’ve actually brined a turkey. A whole damn turkey.
Only someone who’s never brined a turkey suggests how easy it is to brine a turkey.
First off, it takes like a whole box of kosher salt. And the only thing big enough for the poultry carcass is a big 25 gallon Rubbermaid Roughneck tote. Once you fill the roughneck with a pound of salt, the 28 pound dinosaur, and 10-15 gallons of cold water, you still have to figure out how to keep it cold, ‘cuz it shorely isn’t gonna fit in your side by side.
So you drag it out the back door and pray the weather stays below 42 degrees but not below 32. And the entire time you’re dragging it, you’re slopping salmonella tainted turkey water all over your nice clean kitchen floor.
Then you have to consider how to keep the dog from invading the roughneck marination system. So you walk the dog on a leash in your own fenced-in backyard the 29 times he asks to go outside. And trust me, when your dog finds out that you have a dead turkey bathtub on the back deck, he will suddenly develop mysterious, vague, and persistent bladder problems.
And even then, you end up piling a bunch of lawn furniture on top of the roughneck to keep the raccoons out.
And at 2am you’re wide awake listening for bears, because bear are known to move lawn furniture in search of half-brined turkeys.
And I didn’t even get to the joyful part about chasing a slick, fully brined bird across the recently re-mopped kitchen floor.
THAT’s how I know Gwyneth is a big fat lying liar.
I’ve been hearing this “I’m a vegetarian; I only eat fish and poultry” thing for years and it’s never made sense! I read somewhere recently that it’s OK to eat them, especially fish, because “their nervous systems aren’t as developed.” Poor fish!! How does this make them feel?!
In the words of a VeggieTales commentary I once heard, “Gwyneth Paltrow? Now there’s a vegetable if I ever heard of one. Excuse me, I’d like some paltrow on my salad . . .”
This is slightly off-topic: but why does PETA feel as though they own people? I think it’s pretty lame to join PETA, considering what they pull, but last time I checked Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t owe them anything.
Tofurkey has to be the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. The mere sight of it is gag-inducing.
It’s amazing seeing how quickly celebrities change their mind once something becomes too difficult, which I really wouldn’t have an issue with, if they weren’t so smug about it in the first place. Gwyneth Paltrow seems like one of the most unhappy people ever.
I’m pretty sure that the problem is PETA and it’s supporters. If PETA wanted to be a good orginization, they would start commiting hate-crimes (maybe they already have) and they could probably get some awsome ninja-giants to crush Hollywood every time a dog’s foot got steped on accidentally. But, because they are not so keen to kill multitudes of humans for the sake of multitudes of animals; PETA now sucks almost as much as the moon (I mean, really. The moon just circles around the earth constantly. Nice, moon,could you be any more boring? or couldn’t you be at least a little more original, or is it too hard to alter your orbit to come and smash into earth and destroy some shit every once and a while?)
Omigosh, Minnow, I’m practically falling off my chair laughing about the turkey brining. But it’s a *rueful* laughing because I’m getting ready to salt the heck out of my turkey tomorrow (happily without the dog).
And I’m with you, Scott F. and Habanada – since when did being a vegetarian include eating fish? Last I checked they were animals too. But maybe the lords of PETA have decreed in their infinite wisdom that they’re OK to eat because they’re a “lesser” animal or some such.
I think PETArds are less evolved than some fish I’ve met. Is it okay to eat them, then?
What, did some fish piss off lady Ingrid in a past life!
has anyone watched this show on PBS? I swear she eats meat all the time on it http://www.spainontheroadagain.com/
This is just my humble opinion, I know a lot of people disagree with me on this, but anyway…
If I was a defenseless, homeless dog I would rather be euthanized than live on the streets for years, always hungry, always thirsty, always alone, suffering abuses, having lots of puppies that will probably either die very young or have to live on the streets as well (let alone be stolen from me to be taken to a laboratory to experiment on them)…It breaks my heart just to think of their lives.
I know lots of people are against euthanasia. But for me, It´s a more compassionate way than dying on a winter storm or being ran over.
CC — I agree that stray, abandoned, and feral animals have an awful life, but for animals and people alike, there MUST be a better answer than euthenasia. I mean, really, I think we expect way too much from the kids in China, anyway (sorry, cheap joke–forgive me).
I don’t know a lot about PETA’s euthenizing campaign, but I’m sure that for animals and people (infants and elders alike), the answer to the problem can never be killing without consent. I’d think that an organization as noisy as PETA must have access to a lot of resources, so they could whip up some places for these animals to live and feed/shelter them off donations. I’d think it’d be easier to donate money for a cuddly-faced cat than to try and save a future hamburger (cow).
Sorry CC. You’re anthropomorphizing.
If feral dogs thought about life the way you do, we’d see much higer rates of canine drug abuse and suicide.
My dog was suicidal. We didn’t know he had a big old brain tumor until after he died. He would lie in the street in a spot where it would be difficult to see him but great to run him over – which my brother almost did a few times. A lot of animals will try to figure a way out when they sense it is their time to go. It’s a little different than why humans attempt suicide, which would be a lengthy conversation.
I’ve read the stuff about PETA’s euthenasia policies and I thought they were basically killing animals then leaving their bodies in dumpsters because “animals shouldn’t be pets.” I’m not sure what would please PETA other than a vegan society. I’ll go eat my cheeseburger while they f— themselves.
I think Suicidal Dogs would be a cool name for a band.
Suicidal dogs? You have to give me credit, Pasta. And part of your royalties. Other than that, it’s yours.
Can I play bass in your band, Pasta? I don’t know how to play bass . . . but . . . how hard could it be?
Hey, guys, who is Gwyneth Paltrow? I’m gonna use my age [I'm only 16, all I know is that she married the Coldplay guy with the bad teeth] to excuse my ignorance here, but who is she?
Was she famous before she married the Coldplay guy?
Minnow, you have me laughing til I wheeze and have to get up for my inhaler!
I sure hope you didn’t tell the guests about the sliding turkey!
Did you know that PETard brains have been analyzed upon death and it’s a well known fact that members of PETA have fewer brain cells than even a turkey? Just wanted to add something a bit more scientific to this discussion.
Real good, “CC”. We can start with the disfunctional and unneeded, and decrease the surplus population. It would be a blessing to them and society at large. They might have alot of kids, and they might also go hungry, thirsty, or suffer some degree of injustice or pain. Best to rub them out now. After all, we all know what is best for these______(now substitute your choice – elderly, downs syndrome, mentally ill, homeless, migrant, persons of another race or religion,) etc… etc…
Sorry guys. The whole band thing was over for me a long time ago.
minnow – I brined a chicken – once – never again-; could barely get the d__n thing in the fridge (4 oz salt, 4 oz honey, about 2 gallons of water in the largest pot we had.) Had to rearrange everything in the fridge to get it to fit. At the price of honey, I had almost as much money in the brine as I did the chicken. Then you gotta mop every thing down with bleach. It didn’t even taste that great. ( I couldn’t tell no difference than regular baked chicken). We would have been better off going to KFC, Boston Market, or even getting a roasted chicken from the supermarket. The only part of turkey I like is after thanksgivining, when around here you can get the thighs ( left over from the birds cut up for the breast meat, I suppose) for about 45 cents lbs. Throw em in the pot with some turnips, carrots, a few potatos and greens, a little salt and tabasco, texas pete, or crystal, and cook slow all day while working outside. It makes a great soup. A one pot meal. Great for us guys to cook ( and more important clean up after).
LYTEUP: She’s an actress. Not a particularly good one. So far as I know, she’s mostly famous for dating Brad Pitt and then getting her head chopped off in a movie with him. She’s been in movies since 1991 . . . wait a gol-durned second! SHE was the chick playing Young Wendy in Hook?! My childhood is ruined! *runs into a closet to cry*
So there you have it. She’s a bad American actress who thinks she’s British and named her offspring “Apple.”
Ohhh! SHE named her kid Apple. I thought it was someone who was younger and not as dull looking as she is.
And her other kid is Moses.
Let’s not forget Moses.
I would hate to be the nanny calling them in for supper.
I like PALTROW better than PETA. She’s HOT.
I’d eat her fur anytime. And I’m a straight woman.
She becomes what she things she needs to be at any given time….sad. She has no personal values, no convictions, she is an actress, to her core.