Pete Wentz attempted an air of dignity on his blog regarding the potential sale of photos of his new kid, Bronx Mowgli Wentz:
“We have made the decision to not sell Bronx’s baby pictures right now. We understand that, like other celebrities have said, ‘there is a bounty on our heads’ for these pictures.
“There is a danger when there are cameras being held over walls and into our backyard. We are followed day and night and that was fine when it was us but we are going to do our best to shelter Bronx from that as much as possible. It’s scary to be followed by 10 cars to your home.
“We understand the curiosity, just not the viciousness that comes along with it when it becomes so insatiable.”
Oh spare me the bullshiz. There is no paparazzi stalking in this instance. He and Ashlee Simpson have been shopping these photos for weeks but not a single tabloid wants them. And Papa Simpson already failed at selling them months ago.
They say all babies are cute, but the kid probably has her original nose and, well, he’s Pete Wentz’s progeny. Can you blame the tabs?
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I completely understand. When my daughter, Hoboken, was born the paparazzi would not leave us alone. It got so much worse when my son, Sheboygan, was born. Cameras everywhere.
We were so fed up we almost didn’t want to have our third child, Kew Gardens, but I am glad we did.
Ugh. These two. I wonder if he’s doin’ her to get to her sister. That happens. Nice outfit Pete.
“This scarf it does nothing!” Get it ‘cuz he’s in Fallout Boy? Don’t blame me I didn’t name that stupid-ass band.
And who wants to look at their stupid baby? Babies are a waste and they all look the same anyway. And whats a baby done for me lately? Nothing that’s what. You can’t even send ‘em out for smokes or anything. They’re useless until they can mow the lawn or shovel the sidewalk. And that soft spot on their heads? Don’t even get me started.
Hurricane, I feel you on this on…when my Boston Lumiere was born, we tried to hawk it for some money and then after my baby daddy paid off the paparazzi, I was not left alone.
Hard times my friends.
Again, Pasta could not be more right. Babies are stupid and boring!
Unless he actually *looks* like the Bronx. Then . . . hey, I’d be willing to sneak a peek at a tabloid featuring that headline.
Go cry, emo kid.
If my significant other, God forbid, ever actually squirts out a soft spot headed little lawn mower I’m gonna demand it’s middle name is Explosions.
That way if it ever joins a super secret paramilitary team entrusted with disabling a foreign country’s power supply it can set dynamite charges on their dam, and when it gets blown to Hell and gone his Sexy Leather Bikini Wearing Commander can say Pastafarian Jr, you’re almost as sexy as your dad and you do damn fine work! Then he can say “Hey my middle name is Explosions.”
Whew That’s a long way to go for that.
Well, Pasta… good stories always require a bit of setup.
I had to go get Popcorn during Pasta’s coming attractions, what did I miss???
When I was in the hospital a few years back for my daughter’s birth, they had a little piece of paper on the wall by the nursery area with the incubators that had all the names of the babies that had been born in the last few weeks. We were standing in front of the window with a couple of other people looking at the babies, and I started riffing on a few of the worse names when I came across one that has stuck with me to this day.
I wish I was making this up as a joke, but these people actually named their kid Neo Danger Williams. Yes folks, ‘danger is his middle name’. As soon as I read that I started laughing uncontrollably, doing a really bad Keanu Reeves impersonation. Anyways, long story short, 2 of the people standing at the window turned out to be little Neo’s grandparents. All I could think to say when Grandpa shot me a dirty look was, “Dude, with a name like that, he’d better get used to it.”
I work in adolescent mental health and there are a bunch of names, when you hear them, you know exactly what the kid is doing. Amber, Crystal, Jenna, variations of Kayla (Kylie, Kaylee), cutters. Think wisely when you name your kids unless you want them to have Borderline Personality Disorder.
With middle name like Danger he better get used to getting his ass kicked. Who wouldn’t want to be able to say, “I looked Danger in the eye…and I KICKED HIS ASS!”
My True Stupid Name Story: Once I heard a parent calling his daughter, “Asia! Asia! ASIA TEAL!” I commented to my gf she was named for a continent and a color; my gf said she already had a porn star name.
I did a stint in a hospital records department.
I happened upon a Donald Juan Casanova.
Geeze, talk about pressure…
I can’t talk, since my true name is based on…a typo. yep, the hospital spelled my name wrong on my birth certificate, and rather than *make waves* my parents decided to KEEP THE TYPO.
Thus began a life of never having my name spelled “correctly,” turning me into the bitter wretch I am today.
That said, if I had a little rug monster I’d name him Boom Pasta.
One time my mom was at a rodeo. (You’d think more people would use that as a set-up for a joke, but this is actually a true story… all the better for it.)
Anyway, she’s walking around and hears a lady shouting “Chlamydia! CHLAMYDIA!”
My mom, somewhat baffled as to why someone is shouting the name of a pernicious veneral disease at the top of her lungs, asks the lady why is doing so.
“Oh, I’m looking for my daughter,” the lady says.
My mom, surely aghast at this point, asked the lady why on Earth she named her child Chlamydia.
“Oh, I heard that word while I was in the hospital, and I thought it was just the perttiest name!”
My mom, to my knowledge, has not been back to a rodeo since.
I often wonder at what Chlamydia’s fate might be…
I feel for you Phoenix.
My parents ran two names together which look fine if you capitalize the secondary name as intended.
(Think MaryAnne versus Maryanne, not my name but an example)
Anyway, somehow official documents dropped the secondary capitalization which makes my name look kinda-sorta hispanic. So I get lots’a spanish telemarketers.
Me no speakie el spanisho, ole?
Wah wah wah.
More MTV spawned cliche “anti-celebrities” who join the bandwagon of trying way too hard to set themselves apart from the crowd.
They’re throwing a tantrum because no-one cares.
Want some really good (bad) baby names?
http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html
Just don’t be drinking any sort of beverage while reading at the risk of nasal projection.
My name is made up. It’s a combination of my cousins’ names, both of whom are boys. It’s not so bad, really, and I have certainly seen worse. Heck, the name combination could have been tragically worse. But what really sucks is that my Spanish speaking grandparents simply cannot pronounce it correctly, and have pretty much changed it in order to say it in a way that they can manage. In English, my name is a bit cutesy, but in Spanish, it sounds like a slang name for either a drug or a venereal disease.
True story. When I was in Florida, I worked with a woman named Gurantha. The name came from the word “guarantee”, which her mother noticed and liked while reading the back of a potato chip bag. I wish I were making this up.
Anyhow, I’m glad that there’s no interest in Ashlee and Pete’s kid, and I hope that this is the start of a new trend. Seriously, when did this selling of baby pictures to magazines become such a big thing to do in Hollywood? If I were famous and had kids, I would keep them so far out of the limelight they would have mushrooms growing out of their heads. When you have to be that big of a fame whore that you sell your kids’ pictures to the highest bidder, I don’t care if it is for charity, there’s something wrong with you.
You all make me laugh so much! I can think of nothing to say here to match you all, except the wise words of the Man In Black that run through my mind reading your comments:
“My name is Sue! How do you do! Now yer gonna die!”
True story……. my ex had 2 new kid and named them Harley Rebel(boy) and Desteny Rose(girl). Lovely…… Let’s guess what they are going to be doing in 20 years? Selling drugs(boy) and stripping(girl)?
What the Hell is wrong with parents these days?
And, speaking of “predictable” names, watch for Brittany’s.Slutty and narcisisstic as anything!!!
I know someone who used to work in the welfare office. She said nobody comes up with weirder names for their children than welfare recipients. Her favorite was a welfare mom with a kid named Masked Avenger Of The Blue Sky. To no one’s surprise, lil’ Masked Avenger ended up in the juvvy system years later.
Strawberry’s point reminds me of a rather good read.
Here’s an excerpt from the chapter devoted to the relationship between names, class, and race: http://freakonomicsbook.com/thebook/ch6.html
My mother worked in a high school clinic and parents there were apparently completely suburban-oblivious. One poor boy was named “Chase Cox”.
My teacher told me he’d taught a girl named Bee Gee. Her parents were uber-hippies who decided to let the child name herself– the hospital administrators, therefore, put “BG” (“baby girl”) on the release forms. Three years later they ask the tot what she wants to be named, and naturally the kid chooses what she’s been called all her life.
At least dumb names of the previous generation were a tad more reasonable than “Masked Avenger” etc. etc. Here’s a few people that my dad worked with in a long sales career:
Iris Onions
Candy Cane
Scarlett Ann Gray (child of MAJOR Ohio State Buckeyes fans)
Luke Sky Walker
And I have no way of knowing if this is true, but I did hear of a family, last name of Ranger, who named their child Walker Texas. **not sure if that’s true**
I once took a store credit card application for Miss Black America. She legally changed her name after winning the contest in her youth. At least she got to choose her bizarre name, rather than have it foisted upon her by crazy parents.
I have no crazy kid names that can top the names already mentioned on this thread… particularly “Chlamydia.” Let’s hope the girl changes her name to Camille or even Cameron when she gets old enough.
My first name is so old-fashioned that, like Mortimer and Cornelia, it will never ever come back in style. But I’ve learned to peacefully co-exist with it.
As for Bronx Mowgli, ya gotta feel sorry for the kid – not only will he get his ass kicked on a daily basis, he has talentless fame whores for parents. Sorry, Bronx.
I suppose Miss Black America goes by “Missy”? Though seriously, she’d have to expect “Blackie” to come up with a few of her friends. It’s catchier than “Americky.”
Hmm, addendum: friend of mine had someone pay by credit card whose first name name was/is “Princess.” Her mother did it because she read somewhere that all little girls are princesses.
Why, oh why, doesn’t maternal instinct kick in over the hazards of a dumb name?!
They only got paid for their wedding pictures, about $1.5, only because sister Jessica and her boyfriend had to be in the pictures. Without Jessica and her boyfriend, Ashlee’s wedding pictures wouldn’t have sold. But Jessica has literally no career now and is singing at Bingo parlors to promote her new country album. No one cares about these people while they don’t care about the future of the children. Picking a horrid name gets them the publicity and they don’t even think twice about the child’s future with that name. These two degenerates were already partying only two weeks after giving having the child for the publicity, appearance fees, and his promoting his new album.
“Why, oh why, doesn’t maternal instinct kick in over the hazards of a dumb name?!”
I blame the hormones.
I came up with the brilliant name “Angus” while all hopped up on progesterone and chocolate. I thought it had everything: a rare name yet easy to pronounce, not wimpy, plus “Gus” was pretty damn cute. So I put it on my boy list, right up top, number one slot in red ink with several stars for emphasis.
What I didn’t take into consideration was that my husband is 6″4′ and played fullback.
Yeah, in retrospect there would’a been bloodshed on the playground.
Instead we settled on a masculine yet non-bovine name which last year made the top 25 list for girls. Sigh.
Angus is an awesome name! It sounds like an Australian criminal or something. But I guess I could see how fast you’d become Anus. So there is that.
Too true, Minnow…hormones, and not thinking ahead. With maybe some needy bids for attention thrown in.
Sorry about your boy’s name on the girls’ list. No worries, though. Sooner or later some genius celebrity will decide to name her daughter “Nicholas” or “Ethan” and then all bets will be off.
I don’t know, MC Mom, there seem to already be a LOT of girls getting masculine names, at least as far as movie characters are concerned–Andy, Billy, Micah–not even to mention the people naming their kids after objects. I gotta say I approve of Germany’s rule–parents have to prove the name they’ve selected is a real name before it’s allowed on the certificate.
Too true, Habanada. I like this New Zealand judge, too, for the same reason:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7522952.stm
I just don’t know what to say…
http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-national/20081217/ODD.Hitler.Cake/
That’s stupid. From now on I’m gonna refuse the money of anyone named Jeff Dahmer, or John Wayne Gacy, or Joseph Stalin. I’m agnostic. Should I refuse customers named Jesus? Or Moses? It’s just a name.
Yes it’s just a name. A stupid name but still just a name. Principles are great to have until they make you look like an idiot.
Pasta/Minnow:
I went through like five different emotions when I read that article. At first I was like, yeah, screw it, it’s a name–the dad/parents are out for attention, obviously, but what right does a store have to criticize them for it?
Then I get to the part about this is the third year he’s tried to get a cake from that store and that one year he requested swastikas on it. Obviously this is more than “just a name”–is he going to keep hounding the store every year? And even though the past is in the past and I don’t believe the name Adolf should be off-limits for all time, what was with the swastika thing? (I understand it’s a sanskrit good-luck/protection symbol, but Hitler Swastika = Bad karma!)
Then I got to the part about his other kid’s middle name being “Aryan Nation.” 1) This is not a name. 2) This is beyond an attention-getting stunt.
And another thing–can you imagine little A. D. Campbell in world history class, roundabout 8th grade? Teacher: “And Adolf Hitler killed many, many Jews, gypsies, and ethnic minorities.” Students: “OMG!!!1!11″ Adolf Hitler Campbell: “*moan*” I hope these kids are permitted to change their names for free when they get old enough to realize :p–*all* these kids with airhead parents.
I don’t disagree entirely. But listen, who is the store to tell you what you can or can’t have on a cake, or what you can name your own kids. They (the store) are in business. And the business they’re in is to make money.
I own a small store. And when you walk in YOU are the boss. I don’t care what religion you are, or what your name is, or what you look like. All I want is what’s in your wallet. And if you are in charge you’re more likely to come back and spend more money. The idea that this store is offended or something is just ridiculous. Make him his damn cake, take his money and be done with it! Suddenly I have to worry what a store owner, or store management thinks of me before I spend any money? It’s a business. Be a business and act like it. Where does it stop? I’m not saying it’s discriminating, the guys obviously a moron, but stuff like this is always a slippery slope.
Mannnn I hate that ugly phoney ass B****!
I accidentally stumbled on this website and all I have to say is GET A LIFE! This website is for morons who will believe anything that is put in print…..instead of wasting your time here, why don’t you find something productive to do?