Jeremy Piven isn’t going to let a little “mercury poisoning” (*cough*) stop him from banging models to the extent that he can. He is well known for his sleazy methods of picking up women — such as sending out mass text messages to girls he meets at parties and offering a prize (him for the night) to the first to respond.
But he recently started dating 23-year-old model Ashley Chontos, probably for her unfettered naivete when it comes to death by sushi.
Gatecrasher has the deets:
While Chontos may have been the playboy’s second choice (or third … or fourth … or fifth), she’s sticking by his side during the traumatic bout of mercury poisoning that forced him to bow out of Broadway’s “Speed-the-Plow.”
“Ashley was with Jeremy the night he first called in sick to the show,” one of her pals tells us. “He had a car pick her up at Broadway and 90th St. to take her to his apartment, where they spent the night before he left for the West Coast.”
As Piven is currently in Bangkok, undergoing treatments for his condition — and Chontos is in Miami, soaking up some sun — the two are engaging in a long-distance relationship via text messages. “Jeremy’s doctor recommended he go to Bangkok,” the insider says. “And Ashley decided to get a tan so she looks great for her ‘red carpet debut.’ She wants to get real dolled up, and has been discussing her outfit and jewelry practically every chance she gets.”
First of all, I wouldn’t trust Piven in Thailand as far as I could throw him. When he gets back I hope she insists he check himself into a good old Western medicine free clinic to clear up the inevitable rash. But second, if she’s preparing for a “red carpet debut,” that implies a full recovery is imminent, don’t you think? What a medical miracle!
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According to the National Institutes of Health, a case of extreme mercury poisoning would have given Piven the following symptoms:
* Metallic taste
* Vomiting
* Difficulty breathing
* Bad cough
* Swollen, bleeding gums
* Burning in the stomach and throat
* Bloody diarrhea
* Numbness or pain in certain parts of your skin
* Uncontrollable shake or tremor
* Inability to walk well
* Blindness and double vision
* Memory problems
* Seizures and death (with large exposures)
… none of which seems to have affected his pecker? Yeah, right.
And about the mass text-message thing… If Jeremy Piven turns out to have mercury poisoning after all, I’m betting it’s because one of these women stabbed him in the eye with a broken thermometer.
You think any jury would convict?
I thought the first one said Metallica taste. Those dudes are way past their prime, and all of their songs are at least a minute too long.
Is he really attractive enough for super models? Even with fame and money? I mean he’s not as attractive as me but then who is? Besides he always looks like he smells like pepperoni. And mercury. But mostly pepperoni.
Do you sniff Piven Often?
See, Pasta, when I look at him I don’t think pepperoni.
To me, he looks like he smells like feet. And general sleaze-baggery.
Are you sure the doctor didn’t tell him to stay in bed and he misunderstood?
Well, his girlfriend has silicon breasts, but she’s attractive.
http://i42.tinypic.com/kbta53.jpg
Maybe I do. Does that make me weird or something. No I don’t think so.
He looks like one of those guys that would spray an entire bottle of Axe on his wigwam before going out.
Dear God, please tell me that the Mercurial Pepperonus is wearing a University of Michigan t-shirt just by sheer chance…
I swear I’ll never donate another dollar to any alumni fund if it turns out that we spawned this dreckage.
The thing is, why would any girl even jump at the chance to sleep with him? He’s not good looking, there’s no guarantees they’ll get anything out of it, and he’s a complete pig. Ugh. I don’t want to know what kind of girl responds to a text message like that, I really don’t…
Apparently the doc figured teenage prostitutes and strippers who can chop veggies with their yahoos can cure mercury poisoning.
They can?! Count me in!!
Ohmygosh, you guys kill me. X-D
Is this for real? Jeremy Piven, supermodel screwing, mass text messaging, Broadway acting, mercury poisoning. I feel like any minute Ashton Kutcher is going to walk out and tell us we got “punk’d”.
He’s one of those arrogant, legend in their own mind looking sorts of guys that no half way intelligent woman that isn’t getting paid would sleep with.
Mercury poisoning from sushi? Hmph. I am starting to think it was some sort of poisoning from something fishy, but certainly not sushi.
does the piv have a magic peen or something…how depserate to the chicks have to be to lay down with this little man?
When is there going to be a new post? Checking the site and seeing that smarmy a**hats face day after day is skeeving me out
*That’s* what Piven smells like you guys! Pepperoni, Axe, feet and pure, unadulterated smarm.
Thanks for the new pee-pee term, RQ (or at least new to me). “Wigwam” indeed.