Hook-y, get it? I crack myself up.
As you know, Jeremy Piven eats his weight in sushi every day and miraculously became the first person ever to come down with mercury poisoning from too many California rolls. (Right before he ordered up a model like she was room service and then took off for a vacay in Thailand.)
Turns out in the process he screwed the producers of Speed-the-Plow out of a hefty sum of money, as the show was just a week away from recouping its $3.5-million initial investment. Now with Piven gone, they haven’t been able to pass that threshold. Luckily, the producers have some recourse:
But under the Actors’ Equity contract, the producers are entitled to have Piven’s medical records examined by another doctor. If they suspect fraud, they can sue him.
“If it turns out this is phony, it can really kill him,” says a veteran producer who’s not involved in “Speed-the-Plow.”
Yesterday, the show’s lead producer, Jeffrey Richards, said that Piven has in fact been examined by another doctor.
Richards declined to divulge the results, saying, “They are confidential.”
He adds: “We’re in the process of discussing what our next step will be.”
Read between the lines: The medical file says the “mercury poisoning” was pure seahorse sh*t.
By the way, he may want to find a lawyer who’s better qualified than his doctor.
Related posts:
- Plow Producers to Pwn Piven Just a short update since we all knew it...
- Jeremy Piven Baits Mercury Poisoning Skeptics Toolbag extraordinaire Jeremy Piven went on Good Morning America today...
- Next Jeremy Piven Will Say Mercury Is Addictive Jeremy Piven, tool extraordinaire (and top seed in the Douchebags...
- Jeremy Piven Seems to Be Recovering Nicely Jeremy Piven isn’t going to let a little “mercury poisoning”...
- Jeremy Piven Has a Note From His Doctor. Big Freaking Deal. Could Jeremy Piven possibly be a bigger douche-nozzle? Reports are...
I can’t wait to watch this one play out. Pure comedy gold.
I think that someone on Piven’s side will play the HIPA card here any minute, but I’ll bet that Equity can at least get the info for their own problems legally…but they won’t get to share it with us.
Well, HIPA can make sure we don’t know what his medical results are…
But if we hear that he’s sued by the producers and pays them a lot of money, we can apply a little deductive reasoning
I have heard so many stories about First-grade actors working with injuries, this moron’s antics don’t faze me. Seeing him getting sued will be fun indeed.
he will settle out of court and then get another crappy movie role.
I think the independent doctor will diagnose him with “douche-itis.”
He has such an extreme case of douche-itis already; how would they know? For the record, finding a douchey photo of him to pair with my posts is like shooting fish in a barrel. The one I used here has got to be my favorite because of the shark tooth necklace.
I agree Holly, that has to be the douchiest I’ve ever seen him look (and that’s saying something). First thought that popped in my head when I saw it was, “the only way that picture could make him look worse, would be if the shirt had been mesh.”
He looks like one of those guys who walks around as if they’re perpetually strutting to ‘Staying Alive’.
Last time I shot fish in a barrel…I got kicked out of the pet shop.
After seeing that picture, I KNOW he smells like feet.
Maybe unwashed genitals, too.
yet models still bang him…a mystery?
Hey! I had a shark tooth necklace! Of course I was in Florida, and I was 9 years old but still.
Jrod - if he says he’s a star in something, I think he’ll find some chicks willing to bang him for the star factor or thinking he has money.
You have to love the producer of the show making a comment that maybe he’s becoming a thermometer.
Jrod, I wouldn’t hit it at any age, no matter what I look like. Just had to be said.
And yeah, the shark tooth necklace, unless it’s on a 9 year old Pasta on a Florida vacation just screams douchery. Then again, everything about him does.
ick…i can smell the douchery throught the screen…
Interestingly enough, Jeremy is at the Golden Globes with his mom and not some random model he picked up in a bar. How shocking is that? Good to see that he looks healthy and well rested.
I’m ashamed to say I used to be kind of hot for him when he was on the show “Cupid.” I’m disgusted with myself, but I was young and insecure.
Yeah, he was at the Globes with his mom last night, QB, but he didn’t bother to shave and still looks like he smells like feet:
http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/01/live_the_red-carpet_looks_from.html#photo=37
On the plus side, however, he is ‘wearing a ring by David Yurman’ so he’s got that goin’ for him. Which is nice.
From an earlier story:
While Chontos may have been the playboy’s second choice (or third … or fourth … or fifth), she’s sticking by his side during the traumatic bout of mercury poisoning that forced him to bow out of Broadway’s “Speed-the-Plow.”
“Ashley was with Jeremy the night he first called in sick to the show,” one of her pals tells us. “He had a car pick her up at Broadway and 90th St. to take her to his apartment, where they spent the night before he left for the West Coast.”
As Piven is currently in Bangkok, undergoing treatments for his condition — and Chontos is in Miami, soaking up some sun — the two are engaging in a long-distance relationship via text messages. “Jeremy’s doctor recommended he go to Bangkok,” the insider says. “And Ashley decided to get a tan so she looks great for her ‘red carpet debut.’ She wants to get real dolled up, and has been discussing her outfit and jewelry practically every chance she gets.”
In other world, la Jeremy hosed ((probably in more than one) his little star struck model who ran around telling everyone she was going to the Golden Globes with him. Just another story in the annals of Jeremy douchiness
Nice catch Queen.
Forget about being a crackhead leper, pregnant by your brother who is also your uncle…
Being hosed by the Pivmeister is like a whole new category of hitting rock bottom.
Part of me wonders if this isn’t all some publicity stunt. I’d never even heard of Speed the Plow until this came up, and now I’m desperately trying not to Google it.