Piven and his store-bought forelock showed up at the Golden Globes last night. It’s been just three weeks since he dropped out of Speed-the-Plow on Broadway because… heh… because he said he… hn hn… he ate too much… hnnkkt… too much sushi and got mercury poisoning HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Ahem. Here’s how Piven played it off at the Globes:
Piven spoke briefly with former football player Tiki Barber, who worked as a reporter during NBC’s red carpet preview.
Piven likened his abrupt departure from the show to a team doctor telling Barber that he had to leave a game.
Barber joked that he often ignored such orders.
Yeah, but Barber wasn’t performing Mamet, was he? That s*** is grueling.
Roger Friedman is more sympathetic than most of us:
So here now is Piven’s side of things, as he explained it to me last night: “I was so sick for most of the run of the show. Some days I would sleep right until the time I had to go to the theater. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was exhausted. Finally, I went to a doctor at Greenwich Hospital in Connecticut just so it wouldn’t turn into a circus. He said, ‘you’ve got to stop working.’ My heart rate was 47. My mercury level was off the charts. I hadn’t had a real break in 20 years of acting…’”
And the truth is, Piven could not have gotten out of the play without a real diagnosis for insurance purposes. He says that years of being a fish eating vegetarian was enough to do the trick and act as a catalyst.
Another fish-eating “vegetarian”! (Kind of like a God-fearing atheist or a virgin with chlamydia.) Well, I’m convinced. Let’s hope eating all that fish isn’t what made his hair grow back, or else it might start falling out again and he’ll have to get a hairpiece or something silly like that.
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So that model he had come to his place was only there to help him make it to the potty and ensure he takes his meds, right?
I just read this story the other day, http://www.mysinchew.com/node/20079?tid=14
In that story poor gold miners are using mercury to pan for gold. They are handling this stuff everyday, breathing in the mercury dust, handling it without gloves, rubbing it on their skins for luck and getting in their mouths. My guess would be these peoples mercury levels far surpass any level of mercury Mr. Piven could be exposed to by eating sushi. And even with 50 times the recommended levels of mercury exposure they have the strength to pan for gold everyday.
I know Scott F.’s said it before and I’m pretty sure I’ve said it before, too, that vegetarians will eat fish because it’s not red meat, because fish don’t have as “evolved of nervous systems”–but the “fish-eating vegetarian” thing is one of the most inexplicable of all time. And, okay, I know it’s been around forever, the whole, “I don’t eat red meat for moral reasons,” but a fish is something that was alive and was then killed in order to be eaten. I just can’t comprehend it. I suppose I never will.
Jeez, his symptoms sound like too many hookers and too much blow. Must have too much mercury in the coke. Slow down, douche, you’re not as young as you used to be.
“I hadn’t had a real break in 20 years of acting…’”
Which Jeremy Piven did he talk to?
Sounds like he just has mono.
Right, Habanada, even though I’m partially one of those fish-yes, chicken/redmeat-no eaters (just because fish is less gross to prepare), I don’t get how eating living fish is OK, and eating living landwalkers is not. FWIW, on her “On The Road Again” cooking show, Paltrow is adamant about the evils of eating red meat, but she sure dives into the seafood when it’s served! ???
Jannah, you may be right about the mono. Or, you know, full-on chlamydia. But I want to know how fish is ‘less gross to prepare’ than, say, chicken nuggets, pork chops or a burger. If you pull any meat right from its source it’s pretty messy but if the butcher has already done all the hard work then it’s out of the package and into the pan, right?
Not to criticize your meat choices, ’cause hey, whatever works for you. Just wondering what you meant.
It’s the smell, right Jannah?
I used to run poultry tissue samples for a USDA lab. Put me off chicken for years.
And I can’t eat Frito’s because they smell like penny loafers worn without socks.
But that’s probably my own little tribulation.
Now if he could only take time off from being a superdouche….THAT…would be awsome! By the way, he couldn’t look douchier, great pic!
Um…anybody else wondering how not having a break for 20 years (snicker- yeah, sure) caused him to get mercury poisoning? Hmm…perhaps he just wanted a vacation, and for some reason producers don’t take “I haven’t had a vacation in years” as a valid medical excuse.
I just like how he’s going to keep throwing out reasons he couldn’t do the show until people finally feel sorry for him. Oh, too much sushi didn’t do it? How about working too hard? Haven’t had a break in 20 years?
Next news release will be “Piven was mourning pet goldfish during run of show, wore down his immune system”
It must be an experience thing, Minnow and Jannah – I’ve not had the honor and privilege of smelling chickens at the tissue level, so they’re not so gross to me. I’ve dealt with a lot more bass and perch guts in my time. Doesn’t stop me from eating fish though.
Wondering where Minnow’s Frito revulsion came from…the mind reels with fascinating and largely unpleasant possibilities.
DOUCHE…
He hasn’t had a break in 20 years, he’s eaten too much sushi because he’s a pescatarian… Whatever, dude. Phoenix, he’s going to be mourning the goldfish or claim he ate it and got the mercury poisoning from that. He’s still a douche that’s full of crap.
Mmmm, Minnow, I haven’t had Fritos in years and I like them, but once they go stale, the smell reminds me of feet.
All meat is nasty to prepare. That’s why it’s so FUN!
My dog’s breath always smelled like Fritos. Doesn’t keep me from eating them, but gives me the fun visual image of a little Shitzu hiding a stash of chips and Dr. Pepper somewhere.
LOL on the Fritos you guys! X-D
Too true, Minnow and McMom! I guess my aversion to preparing beast and bird came from working in an IBM cafeteria for 5 years, and I’d often be up to my elbows in mass amounts of icky bloody parts preparing the food. The fish was always frozen…no smell, no blood, you just open a box and throw it in a pan.
I do love the smell and taste of a crusty piece of steak or burger though, so I’m a total hypocrite. If someone else kills and fixes if for me, I can eat it!
Back to the mercury poisoning though, if the Asian countries who live on fish have solved that little problem for themselves in the recent past, how is it that in the US it isn’t solved?
LOL, phoenix. I just got your visual and I nearly choked on my green tea.
Jannah, it appears that the dreaded mercury poisoning problem *is* solved in the U.S., as long as your name isn’t Jeremy Piven. Then, you know, all bets are off.
And Phoenix, you never know about your dog…those Shitzus are pretty smart. I’d keep an eye on your snack stash if I were you.
LOL!
The best scene in “Old School” was when the car fell on him. Need I say more?
letterman said it best:
“It’s so cold in New York, Jeremy Piven’s mercury level dropped below zero!”