I Pledge … to actually find out how much David Arquette donated to food banks at the end of 2009.
I Pledge … to look up how much time Eva Mendes spent in 2008 “helping children battling serious illnesses” and compare it with 2009 at year’s end.
I Pledge … to totally bust Lucy Liu’s chops if she ever stops working with UNICEF.
I Pledge … to keep my ear to the ground and listen for the next time Michael Strahan calls himself an African-American (or a gap-toothed, Chunky-soup-eating American…)
I Pledge … to scour the Internet for evidence that Eva Longoria Parker has planted 500 trees this year. Not the gardener. Eva. Dirty hands. Planting trees.
I Pledge … to look in every gossip magazine I read for photos of Laura Linney walking out of a grocery store with a plastic bag in her hand.
I Pledge … to pay attention to what Kevin Zegers is driving, even though I had never heard of him before today.
I Pledge … to hold Demi Moore to her absolutely ridiculous promise “to free one million people from slavery in the next five years.” (How in the hell is she going to do that, exactly?)
My favorite bit — other than the call to “be a servant to our President” (a little Hitler Youth, no?) — was Eva Mendes promising to drink less bottled water. While holding a water bottle. Priceless.
Thanks, Demi and Ashton — for assembling Hollywood’s A-team! We’ll be watching.
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This declaration may help the celebrities follow through with their pledges. Thank you for fighting the good fight.
God BLESS you for this.
Xenu blesses you too.
Wow. I think I’m pretty hip and tied into Hollywood and the pop culture scene but there was not a single person on this I actaully cared about and/or felt bad about them being on there. Not one whose movies I care to see or music I care to listen to.
I pledge to keep on not caring about them.
Notice none of them pledged to quit smoking. I guess all the other pledges are so much easier.
Breitbart nails it: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/breitbart/2009/01/19/where-were-you-celebrities-after-911/
I pledge…to hold you to your pledges, Oversneer, because I am DYING to see the results!
I don’t get these people. Could they not just do these things because they are the right thing to do and not because the One is in office? And then they have to make a video? What about doing good things for the sake of doing it and not just for the attention. Hardly inspiring, just laughable. I expect we will be seeing lots of them on this site in the next few months
To be bad they couldn’t have made these pledges in 2001 when Bush asked
http://www.usafreedomcorps.gov/about_usafc/newsroom/announcements_dynamic.asp?ID=725
Wow, the Demi Moore thing made my day . . . that is a hilarious promise! Does she have a strategy? Anything? Do she and Ashton have one brain between them, and he was using it when she said that?
I loved finding this yesterday and passing it along. It amazes me that these people actually think someone is going to believe they are going to give up ANYTHING no matter who is in office.
Fox news made a comparison yesterday about how if the carbon foot print nazis were in Washington yesterday they would be able to collect a lot of money with all the stretch limo’s, private planes and SUV’s idling on the roads in the cold. They said the air was thick with exhaust fumes.
And it’s ‘cos of God-awful rubbish like this that I wanted McCain to win. Not that I like the Republicans. I just hate them less. But I’m not American so couldn’t have made a difference anyway. Ah well.
They weren’t able to do any of that stuff under the Bush administration because… well, y’know. They just couldn’t.
Hmm. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing
I KNEW this video would provide Deceiver with material for a long time to come. We’re watching, Hollywood, and so are the paparazzi.
In the meantime, why won’t these knuckleheads make more useful and realistic pledges like:
*I won’t fake illness to get out of my obligations.
*I’ll stop smoking. It’s bad for me and it makes me a poor example to impressionable youth.
*I won’t judge Christians, meat-eaters, hunters, Republicans, and families who want to just take a road trip to Disney World. Tolerance is a street that runs both ways.
*I’ll be kind and generous to my fans. After all, if not for them, I would be flipping burgers, cleaning pools, or making porn.
*I will actually pay my assistants and staff a decent salary and provide them with good benefits. Moreover, I will actually pay them in a timely manner.
*I will not assault my assistants and staff with verbal abuse, fists, feet, or cell phones.
*I will not have my staff fill out timesheets in advance so I won’t have to comp them for overtime work.
*I’ll keep remembering how damn lucky I am to live in a country where I can make whatever films and t.v. shows I want and get paid a lot. My colleagues in other countries get paid jack and must rely on government funding to get anything made.
*I’ll pay my fair share of taxes instead of incorporating in Liberia or opening “production company” accounts in Switzerland, and then insisting the hoi polloi suck up and pay THEIR higher taxes. Oh yeah, I’ll pay up on my free swag too.
Aleric – did you see the picture published on Drudge yesterday? All the garbage left behind? Apparently Obama’s call to service did not exactly inspire any of his admirers to pick up after themselves.
LOL! X-D
BTW, that’s a very scary video.
StrawberryGirl – you need to submit that list to Demi and Ashton!
Just learned of Kevin Zegers today, huh? You must have missed that beauty “Air Bud” where his mushroom cut made 12 year old girls buckle at the knees.
I went to highschool with said mushroom cut haver and he drove a Lexus SUV then. Can’t wait to see what he’s driving now!
Maybe one of them could pledge not to make a movie or TV show that wasn’t a piece of crap but even that might be too hard for them.
Jenn – Yes I did, it was truely impressive how green the attendees were, even with Al Gore there to supervise. We are used to that in KY, you should see Churchill Downs after the Derby.
I pledge to turn all the lights on that P. Diddy turns off.
StrawberryGirl – EXCELLENT post. Loved it.
D—- Great link. Thanks!
Now go get them Deceiver.
i pledge to supply my local liquor store with a steady flow of income. Just helping the economy folks!
I pledge to no longer support their lifestyle by going to see their movies, buying their DVD’s or CD’s. I pledge to support those who loved this country long before the Messiah was cornonated and told them to – mainly our wonderful troops through the Wounded Warrior Project.
Why do these people think we want to hear them say this garbage? Yuck – it just reeks of insincerity, no matter how well they contort their faces into expressions of deep meaning. I’m rather sick of all the marketing around this “historic” moment. Can we just let it be historic please, without all the profiteering and shameless self-promotion?
I’ve actually been curious how many Republicans have been making up for stock market losses by selling “YES WE CAN” buttons and triple superimposed images of the deified Obabma on t-shirts. Think any might be selling their soul by shilling his image?
I voted for the man, and cried with sheer relief when he won, but don’t think for a minute all his supporters consider themselves his “servant”. Or for that matter that all his detractors are sitting back and watching all this marketability pass them by. And dear god, can people quit talking about kool-aid (yes, they still are out there) and just drink water (not out of a bottle of course)? Can we all drink water?
Sorry, I have too many un-fully formed thoughts tumbling around my head – I hope I made any sense.
I pledge to only eat meat when it could offend someone…
And I’d hit most of those ladies…
I don’t think that comment made much sense at all, Tracie, but I’ll see what I can translate . . . nope, no good. I don’t get it. Try again. But ironically, your musing on how many Republicans shill Obama’s image for money is a question that’s come up between me and my friends before–only we were wondering about how many shirt-and-pin vendors selling McCain/Palin stuff back during the campaign were actually voting “for the other guy.” Maybe capitalism isn’t dead. It ought to transcend politics, anyway
Because . . . that’s why it’s capitalism!
I’m disgusted.
So slavery is bad but servitude is mandatory?
Semantics.
Iowahawk’s got the transcript
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2009/01/i-pledge.html
aaron eckhart, why?? i thought you were cool
I can’t believe I managed to watch that whole thing without puking.
I pledge to keep hating Hollywood leftists and champagne socialists. I pledge to keep reading Deceiver so that I can see the inevitable hypocrisy of these twits exposed.
Funny how they had to wait for their guy to become President in order to respect the office and the man who holds it. Some of us have been doing that all along.
Why is Ioan Gruffudd even in this?
Hear, Hear, Baba Yaga, well said.
And Tracie, a true conservative republican would find ways to make money off of the election by not supporting the person running against them.
Sort of like this:
http://www.thoseshirts.com/
Lol
StrawberryGirl said…
*I’ll stop smoking. It’s bad for me and it makes me a poor example to impressionable youth.
*I won’t judge Christians, meat-eaters, hunters, Republicans, and families who want to just take a road trip to Disney World. Tolerance is a street that runs both ways.
So I’m just going to rearrange some of these words….and…yes, here we go.
“I won’t judge smokers. Tolerance is a street that runs both ways.”
This from a non-smoker that believes as long as you aren’t chain-smoking in my kid’s face, how you choose to die is your own business. (At least cigarettes and meat are enjoyable.)
Thanks, Oversneer – looking forward to seeing you bust some of these folks in the coming months. Did anyone else notice that the video was produced by Oprah’s company?
Strawberry, that was an awesome list. Think anyone will actually follow it?
I have to admit, I laughed out loud when Bateman pledged to flush only after a ‘deuce,’ but then I still think farts are funny.
And I’m with that old guy who pledged not to give people the finger while he was driving…that sounds like a pledge you can actually keep!
Kaliska, my issue isn’t really with smokers in general. These Hollywood halfwits want to be role models to young people. They want us to admire them. They want to influence the yoots to support their brand of kooky environmentalism, embrace vegetarianism, and of course, to worship The One as they do (the point of the video). They brag to the magazines about how health-conscious they are and all of the yoga/pilates/whatever they do to maintain their fabulousness. They carry on about how they are so good to Mother Gaia. Well, smoking is NOT healthy. It leads to a lifelong addiction that’s hard to break and will likely end with cancer or emphysema (if a stroke or heart attack doesn’t get you first). Most actors smoke. Most models do as well. Some are aware that smoking could hurt their image, or at least they don’t want to be blamed for influencing kids to take up the coffin nails, so they take care not to be photographed smoking. But sooner or later, they usually get “caught.” The teenage girls who think it’s cool to smoke because Eva Longoria does don’t know about the hacking coughs, the tobacco-stained teeth, the stinkiness, and the bad withdrawals that come with quitting because we don’t see that side of smoking from these people. Celebutards aren’t completely to blame for children smoking but they definitely add to the glamour that attracts kids to cigarettes in the first place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah smoking is bad for you you shouldn’t do it. But it DOES make you look cool. Go on admit it. The cool guy, the bad guy, the rebel in all the movies what do they have in common? They smoke. I don’t know why but I immediately thought of Brad Pitt’s Tyler Durden in “Fight Club”.
Live fast die young leave a good looking corpse. I have that tattooed on my forehead. In Latin. That’s me Mr. Rebel.
Wow. That was terrifying!! I mean, honestly… they’re like zombies. It would be just as scary if anyone did this with Bush or McCain.
I can’t remember all the people whose comments agreed with, but it was a lot of you
Minnow was one of the latter ones, though, so I’ll just say her.
“The teenage girls who think it’s cool to smoke because Eva Longoria does don’t know about the hacking coughs, the tobacco-stained teeth, the stinkiness, and the bad withdrawals that come with quitting because we don’t see that side of smoking from these people.”
Maybe not from those people, but anyone who’s been in a public school in the last 20 years can honestly tell you that they didn’t have a single health/gym class go through it’s semester without someone shoving a book full of pictures of diseased lungs and hearts under your nose. Towards the time I was getting out of high school they started doing the same thing with STDs, those pictures of people who had their entire bodies scarred with massive outbreaks… I’ve been to war, and thinking back, those pictures still make my stomach churn.
I don’t disagree with you about celebs that are trying to be role models and then get busted smoking – they’re full of shit and should be called on it. I’m just saying that the ‘ignorance’ excuse for smokers (and I smoke a half pack a day) went out the window when they started putting the surgeon general’s warning on the pack. I can’t speak for all smokers, but I know the health risks, I just don’t care. The reason I point this out, is because about once a month I have to deal with some moron walking up to me while I’m standing in front of a building smoking, and he says ‘don’t you know how bad those are for you?’ Yeah, I do, I’m not retarded. Alcohol is bad for you to, but you don’t get 10 people telling you how bad it is when you crack a beer open, do you?
Pasta, is your tattoo backward so you can read it in the mirror?
Agreed, Scott. The number of health professions smoking is another great example of knowing it’s bad and not caring.
However, these celebrities won’t pledge to quit until Obama officially starts an anti-smoking campaign and… oh, wait, that’s right, he himself smokes. No wonder they can’t say that.
I’m curious? Who is going to check up on Jason Bateman’s to make sure he is following up on his pledge?
Gee Demi, I didn’t know Scientology HAD a million followers.
Pasta has given us such a vivid mental picture of himself:
Sequined capes, goes commando, man boobs, now the forehead tatoo…
I pledge to stock up on a lifetime supply of incandescent light bulbs.
i pledge to never watch this video again…
Oo! Oo! Was Ashton Kutcher taping and insulting his neighbor for doing construction early in the morning a good example of whatever the twisted crap he said at the beginning?
Gah! Watching that video (well, part of it, I couldn’t watch anymore) was so annoying. So NOW these celebs are wanting to be altruistic? Talk about a bunch of sheeple. Sheesh. I am so happy that they made this video so they can inspire me to do more and be better. WTF?!
Gah! The people in this video – truly the hyprocisy is too much! Those people are NOT fit to be role models.