Apparently peeved that their neighbor has been remodeling his house, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have taken to the Tweets. Ashton posted on Twitter a series of foul-mouthed rants and vague threats about the offense yesterday morning, including:
this SOB owl feces cougar placenta jack bone dick! 8:10 AM yesterday from web
Jack ass 7am building a god damn fort next to my house f’in up my view and noise polluting the entire f’in nieghborhood with pounding steal 8:09 AM yesterday from web
holy moly I’m gonna lose it! 8:07 AM yesterday from web
this ass clown has another thing coming! 8:07 AM yesterday from web
I’m gonna kill my neighbor! 8:06 AM yesterday from web
This morning, Demi backed up her noble prince:
stand by my husband has something up his sleeve! about 1 hour ago from web
7:48 they are working away but they delayed the hammering…nice! about 2 hours ago from web
It’s 7:04 and no hammer to steel just yet. hubbie still sleeping! about 2 hours ago from web
So aside from this being the most juvenile, passive aggressive behavior imaginable (and I don’t want to know what’s up Ashton’s sleeve), it turns out that it took TEN YEARS to build the Kutcher/Moore compound. (Originally just the Moore compound — construction started while Ashton was still in high school.) By comparison, the neighbor in question has been working on his house for six months.
I’m sorry these celebrities are not able to sleep past 8 a.m. on a weekday. Truly, my heart bleeds for them.
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I would hope that they did the mature, intelligent thing and talked to the neighbor first before using Twitter, of all things.
Oh wait, this is Ashton and Demi. They’re stars! Never mind.
When ending slavery in the world it is important to get plenty of rest.
Hey Ashton here’s an idea! Instead of “twittering” or vloging your little hissy fit why not just wander over there and talk to them! Talk to the carpenters, they’re usually the ones carrying around those long pieces of wood with the nail guns. Make sure they’re union guys too. If you can, go before 2:00 that way they haven’t been drinking too much yet. Tell ‘em your tired and can not get out of bed before 9:00.
I’ll e-mail Holly my phone number so you can call me. Give me a days notice so I can fly out there because THIS I gotta see. I’ll use your panties to wipe the tears of laughter from my face.
Pussy.
I’m on my second coffee by 8am… and these people are trying for a baby? What’s he going to do when Ashton Jr. startes screaming at 4am?
ten years? and they didn’t build thicker walls? double paned windows?
Well the legally can start to build at 7:00Am so Ashton and Demi are idiots.
Sorry for the second comment but I just had a thought. If he thought they were noisy before…
Those big compressors that say Ingersoll-Rand on ‘em? Those mini cement mixers the brick layers use? Guess where they’re gonna be moved to. As near the bedroom windows as they can get ‘em. Ever drop a bunch of thick wall conduit on the floor of Home Depot? Noisy right? Imagine that at 7:01 AM. Everyday. Every half hour.
Nice work there genius. Here’s an idea, volunteer to do some clean up or something and see what it means to really work. God I hate celebrities.
He could always tell them if they don’t stop he will get his hommies and do a punk’d run on them. Then when the Carpenters beat him repeatedly with 2 x 4’s he can claim they are non union and meat eaters.
If he thinks it’s loud now, just wait until Obama starts building infrastructure next door.
LOL, you guys! X-D
And isn’t it cute how they coyly cock their heads in the same direction for the cameras? OK, I’m being catty, that’s all I’ve got for this.
)
“Steal” Ashton? Really? Are you that dumb?
I guess he really puts the “twit” in Twitter” – ugh, I felt dirty just writing something that stupid. I must be a celebrity myself!
Can’t a kept man get some shut eye anymore? Sheesh!
Ashton Kutcher needs a foot in his ass. I could just imagine the scenarios.
You guys are so mean! Don’t you know how HARD it is to end world slavery?! I’m sure these two were up way late the night before cutting shackles and snipping razor wire down at Hollywood and Vine. Or wherever slaves are in the Inland Empire. And if they weren’t actually DOING something to end slavery then I’m sure they were TALKING about doing something to end slavery. Because you know good intentions are just as tiring as good actions. Come on people, a little more HopeyChangey please!
Isn’t threatening to kill people a crime? What a coupld of douchebags. They should make Demi donate the ENTIRE HOUSE that she has for her doll collection to a homeless family.
I’d hit it (Demi, not the kid)
Now, now, give them a break. I’m sure they were just seconds away from calling in their A-Team celeb friends like:
Ioan Gruffudd, to “meet my neighbors”
or
Rex Lee to “find out their names
or
Cameron Diaz who is “gonna give ‘em a smile”
or
Tatyana Ali who will “ask them how I can be of service to them”
This is the era of change, everyone. Make a pledge one day. Change. Break the pledge the next. I’ve got a thrill of up leg just thinking about their next video.
I think this proves that when not supplied with a script, Ashton is incapable of speaking. What kind of insults are those?! Owl feces? Come on, man… if you’re going to be stupid and immature at least try a little.
What he should do is come from a second shift family where you sleep from 3 to 11 a.m. and your neighbors are constantly getting new roofs, trees trimmed, decks put in, etc.
If I were married to Demi Moore, I don’t think I could sleep past 4:30 AM. I would have eaten breakfast and been out of the house by 6:00 AM.
These comments are priceless. I can’t think of anything to add but my congratulations to those above.
Grow up and learn how to use some capital letters. Are you sure *these* guys can’t be Twit and Twat? Or is that TradeMarked?
Now wait a minute…why should I be convinced those twitter accounts are really them? Anyone can set up accounts all over the web with a picture of a celebrity. Come on people, where’s your skeptical nature?
I say they move out and let a few foreclosed families put up with the hammering while they vacay in Cabo or a superluxe Winnebago.
Cougar placenta? COUGAR PLACENTA?! WHAT?!
Twit and Twat is copyrighted for Speidi. We are creative people and can come up with with some sort of truly fabulous for these crazy kids.
You think they’re lying about it?
Marie: there’s also a video out that basically says the same thing as the twitter posts. Safe bet they’re real.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmqvnz_V7u4
Demi looks like she’s 29 in that picture. Maybe she keeps him around because she’s secretly draining his life force. Kind of a “Twilight Zone”, Dorian Gray thing or something like that.
I think he’s a dope, but I’d crawl through broken, burning glass for her. You hear that Demi?
Twitter me! I’ll handle those mean old construction guys!
Ooooooh, how about Twitter Twats?
Twit(ter) Twins?
How’s about Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Duh-mi?
Jumping on your thought train Minnow, Duh-mi and Dumber?
twitter? wtf, seriously? these 2 just wanted back in the spotlight again and looks like they got it.
Yeah, the “cougar placenta” threw me off for a moment. I thought that was the neighbor referring to Demi and her brood.
There are certainly more mature ways to deal with this sort of thing.
“Yeah, the “cougar placenta” threw me off for a moment. I thought that was the neighbor referring to Demi and her brood.”
EXACTLY, CHRONIC! Isn’t ‘cougar placenta’ sort of an absurd insult to Demi?
Also, ‘neighbour’ really should be spelled with an ‘u’, it just seems so freaky without the ‘u’ in there, oh my God, my brain actually can’t cope. Do you people spell ‘cosy’ like we do, or is that different as well?
I guess you’re right, Queen Bee
If we can’t think of more than one nickname for stupid people, what kind of people are we?!
What about Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer?
ha ha ha! Maybe this is someone PUNKING *sshole Ashton! I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE STUPIDITY OF THAT SHOW! You’ve got Ashton going “Wha ha! Wha ha! HA! You got PUNKED!” and in the mean time a trailer is on fire in the background! “Uh can we call the fire dept please?” Hose down idiot Ashton while you’re puttin out that fire.
LYTEUP… I am an American in the UK. The u issue is a constant argument with my British hubby. He set my Word spell checker to put u’s in things. I am so confused after almost three years.
Why the hell didn’t they go to one of their other houses?
Do these 2 still have relevance in life, let alone hollywood? Last I heard, ashton was being made fun of by the football team he pretends to coach.
I think it is illegal to threat to kill people on line… Just a tip for Ashton.
Sorry…threaten
Telling Americans in America that they ought to be spelling words with the British “u,” “e for a, re for er,” and “s for z” is like telling them that they really need to be driving on the left side of the road. Noah Webster went through a lot of trouble to make the American language distinct from the British one, and that’s just the way it is.
Have there been any updates (I can’t say I follow the Kutchers on Twitter)? I’m out of new and creative insults.
[Enough, child. -- MGMT.]
Jesus LYTEUP. You should try to relax a little.