If you’re a fading celebrity these days, there are two paths you can take to renewed relevance: Slobber all over Obama or screech about Sarah Palin. Day by day it’s getting tougher for even the most delusional, pampered has-been to pull off the former, so it’s no wonder Ashley Judd is switching to Plan B.
Did you know that she cares very, very deeply about Alaskan wolves? Here’s the pitch:
You can tell it’s serious by the sadness in her eyes.
Now, okay. I’m a dog person. I see something like the Michael Vick situation and it makes my blood boil. So when Ashley Judd pouts about the poor puppies getting shot at by the mean mans in the airy-planes, there’s a second or two where I’m like, “Awww! You cut that out, Sarah Palin!”
But then the ol’ logic centers kick in. (Assuming you have any.) “Wait a sec… why are they killing these wolves? Just to be cruel? Are they placing bets on it?” Well, no. They’re trying to protect moose and caribou, which have been almost wiped out because of wolf overpopulation. Why is there a wolf overpopulation in Alaska? Because for a long time it was illegal to hunt them. And why are they shooting the wolves from planes? Well, because there aren’t a lot of roads up there.
Here, let the Wicked Witch of the North explain it:
Palin struck back in a statement Tuesday night, calling the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund a fringe group that “distorts” the goal of Alaska’s predator control programs.
“Alaskans depend on wildlife for food and cultural practices which can’t be sustained when predators are allowed to decimate moose and caribou populations,” Palin said in the statement.
She added: “Shame on the Defenders of Wildlife for twisting the truth in an effort to raise funds from innocent and hard-pressed Americans struggling with these rough economic times.”
The wolf-thinning effort has saved Alaskan caribou from the brink of extinction. But they’re kind of dumb-looking and not nearly as sexy as wolves, so it’s no wonder Ashley’s mascara is running.
Courtesy of Hot Air, here’s another perspective on wolf vs. caribou:
http://www.spike.com/video/2846100
Sorry, Bullwinkle Jr., but Ashley knows best.
By the way, where are the protests over the killing of $100-a-pound Wagyu steak? It didn’t just jump onto Obama’s plate all by itself.
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Somehow I think Ashley would be singing a different tune if giant bands of wolves were taking down the bambis at her Tennessee estate…
I still think Ashley Judd is the Bee’s Knees! I would hit it!
The pathetic thing about this deceptive pitch is that the real reason has nothing to do with cuddly wolfies (don’t you love animals that spread rabies and can bite off your face?) but has everything to do with Gov. Palin’s position on another issue near and dear to Ashley Judd’s little heart. Judd is a big abortion supporter while Palin is pro-life.
I think Ashley should visit the wolves and cuddle them. They would love her. She has never even been to Alaska. Ashley Judd is an Idiot.
I Love You Deceiver.
Can’t PETA just make all creatures get along? Doesn’t the wolf know that being a vegetarian is healthier?
I imagine Ashley with one of those small “howling wolf sitting on a butte in front of a full moon” tattoos, a dream catcher hanging from the rear view mirror in her ‘81 Grand Prix, Zeppelin crankin’ on her crappy car stereo. Just like her sister, but cuter, and cheaper to feed.
My dream girl!
If you have ever been close to a true pack of wolves you wouldn’t be all up in arms to protect the poor innocent little puppies. A full grown wolf never travels alone unless he is a pack cast out. Most run in packs and when you see one in the wild there is sure to be three or four others you don’t see. I have seen them run down a deer and pull it down in the span of 20 seconds. They are one of the reasons I carry a sidearm as well as my hunting rifle.
I think Ashley is going the route of the Dixie Chicks, sure hooe she enjoys the same reception they now recieve from the few remaining fans they have.
What a minute, the Dixie Chicks still have fans?
Who knew?
Can someone start some type of Defenders of Common Sense Action Fund, maybe get some aerial “B-list celeb with a bullsh*t cause” thinning program going?
You know, this is the kind of crap that happens when the press decides to fawn all over someone.
I’m flipping through the channels one night and I come across tiny Ashley strolling through the slums of India, dressed in a sari complete with a sparkley dot on her forehead. And the point of her visit is to film young female orphans of the AIDS crisis. (And yes, you read that right, FEMALE orphans, as if AIDS is selective…) Ashley hugs all the girls and tells them how brave they are. Brave, brave little orphans.
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s important to hug the orphans (just the girls), show you care, listen to their troubles… but the camera crew trailing her? Was that really necessary? Couldn’t she find some way to help the damn orphans without them capturing each and every Kodak moment for publicity back in the states?
So I sat there, stunned off my ass, because she wasn’t doing a darn thing to really help those kids. Yet if you listened to the narrator waxing poetic, Ashley was the second coming of Christ (although in a slightly more petite and in India rather than Judea).
And I thought at the time, what happens when this back hills bimbo starts to believe what her publicity agents sing about her? What happens when she jumps to the conclusion that all she has to do is speak out to “make a difference”?
Does she really think that words speak louder than actions?
Apparently, yes.
Damnit. Does Palin have a Shoot the Wolves campaign I can contribute to?
Hey I hug orphans all the time! Of course it’s just to see how lean they are, you know for stews and such. And no parents so no one notices! Yay for me!
I’d hate to see Ashley’s frowny face when presented with a REAL dilemma: Unborn wolves. “Hmmm…Kill the fetus? Save the hairy predator? Kill the fetus? Save the—oh, screw it. Call my stylist, Wynonna, if you didn’t eat him already.”
longboorder I like how you’re thinking! Hollywood is completely overcrowded with celebs pushing useless causes. This is the kind of thing that happens when you don’t let the natural predators do their job. We need to cull the herd! I’m heading out for target practice right now…I may have finally found my calling in life!
This is an article to get upset about – not some has been actor who wants to be back in the spotlight. Where is the celeb outrage on this one?
Fla. doctor investigated in badly botched abortion
What Williams and the Health Department say happened next has shocked people on both sides of the abortion debate: One of the clinic’s owners, who has no medical license, cut the infant’s umbilical cord. Williams says the woman placed the baby in a plastic biohazard bag and threw it out.
http://www.buffalonews.com/260/story/570428.html
Awww, Pasta! I’m ashamed of you.
The best way to snag the juicy orphans is to keep ‘em stashed away in your gingerbread house for a few months.
That way they increase their BMI and you get live-in maid service.
Watch out for the oven door though.
Wynonona Judd for Deceiver of the Year!
Her Album Cover:
http://i43.tinypic.com/34q3eyd.jpg
Reality: 5′2″ tall and 265 lbs.
I think you should add a Palin post for this statement:
“Shame on the Defenders of Wildlife for twisting the truth in an effort to raise funds from innocent and hard-pressed Americans struggling with these rough economic times.”
http://www.sarahpac.com/
Fits your profile pretty well if you ask me.
How is Palin twisting the truth to raise those funds?
What absolutely no one who protests this icky-bad-no-no realizes is that every single wolf will die when the caribou do unless they thin the wolf population to a sensible number. And they say Republicans are knee-jerk…
Simon, this just proves we’re soulmates. I went through an identical thought process when Defenders of Wildlife Action Morons sent me a piece of propaganda in the mail a couple of weeks ago. Sarah’s one of my heroes, so at first I was like, “Oh, come on, girl!” And then, as you say, I went, “Yeah, I’m sure she’s doing this out of the blackness of her heart.” And the pen they tried to bribe me with fell apart in two seconds (granted, I was breaking it into pieces).
I have never really understood the Cult of the Wolf or why we all bend over backwards to accommodate them; I was against “re-introducing” them to Yellowstone. *Sigh* Yet another “greentarded” cause from someone who knows nothing about what she’s talking about.
Ironically Habanada, the wolf are needed back in Yellowstone to balance the ungulate population which was artifically bolstered when they killed all the wolf off in an effort to “save” the wilderness.
Palin’s head (and heart) are in the right place, curbing the wolf population is necessary and she seems to be doing it the right way.
If you have 20 minutes, this is an entertaining read:
http://www.crichton-official.com/speech-complexity.html
Pastafarian I think you’re onto something about orphans. Have you thought about selling your idea to Michael Jackson?
I just wrote a similar story at http://www.themockdock.com. I cannot stand Ashley, that self-promoting blowhard. If you’re an Ashley hater, you’ll be in good company in the I Hate Ashley Judd category at the mock dock. Good post, Simon!
The argument that the decline of caribou populations is based solely on predator numbers is a spurious one. This has long been debunked by the scientific community, and is used to trick people not familiar with the sometimes complicated ways that humans affect the natural order of the ecosystem.
Palin’s head is up her ass, and as for her heart, ask the rape victims who were forced to pay for their rape kits in order to see even the first steps towards justice. Better yet, ask the raped women and children who could not afford the hefty price of the processing of these kits, and I am sure they’ll tell you all about Palin’s heart.
Palin is your hero? Maybe if you got raped, and were forced to bear the rapist’s child, as per Palin’s world, you would not find her so heroic. I thought the subject was wolves, but it seems to be just an excuse to glorify Palin. Why do you like ignorant intolerance so much? She may be Governor of Alaska, but she knows nothing about wildlife, except how to kill it. If you researched this area you would see just how ignorant she really is.
From Defender’s of Wildlife site:
Alaska Wolves Management and Policy
“Defenders has been involved in conserving wolf populations for more than 30 years. We are committed to ending the aerial gunning of wolves. Currently, we are attempting to achieve this goal by amending the federal Airborne Hunting Act and bringing greater diversity to the Alaska Board of Game.
History of Defenders’ efforts on behalf of Alaska wolves
Aerial Gunning Continues Its Toll on Wolves
Despite the passage of two ballot measures on the issue, aerial gunning continues to occur in Alaska. Since 2003, more than 600 wolves have been shot by aerial gunning teams in five areas of the state.
In addition to the loophole in the Airborne Hunting Act , this is due to the passage of a state law in 1994 that requires restoring depleted caribou and moose populations to previously attained levels including historical highs. (See detailed history )
I afraid that the assumption that the number of predators (the wolf in this case), being the direct and sole cause of a prey group’s decline in numbers is an erroneous one. This fallacious argument is often used to deceive people not familiar with the facts, and has long been debunked in scientific circles. Here is a short excerpt from the DOWL site.
“In many instances such highs(caribou population numbers)resulted from irruptions linked to large-scale predator control in the 1950s and 1960s. Peak populations were clearly unsustainable and restoring them now is likely unattainable. Furthermore, estimates of the magnitude of peak populations, even those reached as recently as the 1980s, are often little more than guesses and are often inflated.
Alaska Board of Game
Most decisions regarding wolves rest with the Alaska Board of Game (BOG), a seven-member panel of citizens appointed by the governor and confirmed by the legislature. This board has historically and currently consists primarily of hunters.
The Board of Game, guided by the intensive management statute, has consistently set ungulate population and harvest objectives at high levels or raised previous objectives absent data on habitat quality and carrying capacity. The net result of this is to commit the Board of Game to approving perpetual predator control programs that chase unattainable objectives. The current programs will likely repeat the pattern of the past wherein wolf and bear control triggered ungulate irruptions followed by habitat damage and sharp ungulate declines. ”
I suggest that anyone who is truly interested in what the facts are not only go to the Defenders of Wildlife Site, but take some time and educate yourself about predator/prey population ratios and the real reasons behind fluctuations.
If you don’t trust this site, there is a plethora of information on the web and elsewhere on predator/prey ratios , populations, and the different causes that effect them.
As for Judd’s motivation, I have no idea. I do know that it is easier to do nothing and crticize, than it is take action. Palin accusing ANYONE of belonging to a “fringe” group, or having radical ideas is mighty hypocritical. It brings to mind the exorcism performed on her,in her church, by a witchdoctor, available on U-Tube for your viewing pleasure. Or if you prefer, ponder her husband’s membership in a group advocating secession from the USA, which she heartily supported.
I do hate hunting, but I have friends who hunt, and they despise the hunters who shoot from helicopters. It has to do with a sense of fairness, a sense of dignity (to both the hunter and the hunted). The people I know who hunt call this helicopter activity slaughtering, not hunting.
Well, their numbers were declining, and now that the hunting ban has been lifted, their numbers are going back up. What’s causing it?
I have yet to see a single piece of evidence that this actually happened. In other news, Trig really is her kid.
Yeah, so did we. Sounds like you’re having trouble focusing. Maybe you should eat some brain food. You can eat fish, right?
I heard she also planned 9/11 and faked the moon landing.
The last 8 years of Bush bashing are going to be a cakewalk compared to the next four that Palin is going to receive. Planning ahead for 2012 begins now I guess. It’s gonna have to be done if the last two, or three weeks are an indicator.
You mean the prayer that was done for her. Mercy, people react more venomously to Sarah Palin than they do to George W. Bush.
Please, there are other ways to control an animal population that doesn’t involve Sarah Palin jumping into a helicopter and wolf snipping. Then taking proud poses of herself standing on the carcass.
And yes, there difference between shooting down a wolf, and breeding, then killing a cow. The cow is turn into mass produced *food*. Not having it’s carcass posted on the internet.
veganrampage
Whether or not the wolves are the sole cause of reduced caribou populations is basically irrelevant because the point is that somewhere in the past the wolf population rose compared to what it probably should be and the caribou population started decreasing compared to what it probably should be causing a shift in the balance of nature. Most tragic is that this shift is essentially a positive feedback mechanism. I personally believe that there was human involvement in the past as well as now that resulted in these changes. However, if not for opposing human involvement now there is significant chance that the caribou and moose populations could dwindle further while the wolf population rises followed by a period of stabilization as prey becomes more scarce. This great disparity could work itself out again after massive numbers of wolves die a gruesome death of starvation (if you’ve ever seen a creature starve to death, it’s certainly less bearable to witness than an organism getting shot) or the caribou and moose would become extinct in the region followed shortly by the wolves. I suppose either one is a more preferable outcome than the current situation to you?
Also, many of your statements about Palin are inaccurate at best. The rape kits in question were indeed problematic in Wasilla as well as other parts of Alaska while Palin was mayor there, but it was the local police chief, not Palin, who required individual payments for them under the belief that the average taxpayers should not be forced to bear the burden of the cost. However, Palin has been said to always have opposed having victims pay for evidence gathering tests.
Your idea that in “Palin’s world” one would be forced to bear a rapist’s child is somewhat misleading. First, your use of the word “forced” is simply an exaggeration or else a denial of other legal restrictions being similar. That is to say, in “Palin’s world” I’m sure she’d also rather have it so there is no rape. That is to say, people would be “forced” not to rape others. They aren’t forced though because they can still do it if they want and have a risk. Say what you mean plainly, that they wouldn’t be “forced” to carry the child so much as they’d have an extra risk if they try not to. It’s somewhat irrelevant anyway though since you seem to be ignoring that Palin’s voting record is at least somewhat different from her personal statements. Not so much that she says one thing and does another though like most politicians as that she works with the law according to the will of the people and state constitution even if they disagree with her own views although she will personally support the changing of the constitution by providing the populace with information (even if said information is only for her side, but then again, what organization that gives “information” can honestly say they do otherwise? That includes the Defender’s of Wildlife, by the way). In the end, “Palin’s world” is defined by the citizens.
As for Alaskan secession, you did note that it was Todd, not Sarah, who joined a party which, among many other political beliefs that people could be attracted to, happens to also support the OPTION of secession. Also, you seem to be opposed to Palin’s supporting her husband’s connection with the party. Now, perhaps you’re not the sort of person who supports the decisions of loved ones, but apparently Sarah Palin is. Difference of opinion, I suppose. Further, he used to be in the party, but isn’t currently. Instead, he’s an independent and as far as I’m hearing, Sarah supports that decision, too and frankly that’s a bit more important due to the recency in comparison.
On the matter of her exorcism, it seems to me that there’s no evidence she fully supported it so much as accepted it. That is to say, she was simply open minded to the whole thing and figured it couldn’t hurt. She probably even thought it wouldn’t help, but in the end perhaps she felt that there was more chance that something spiritual, even if not something she necessarily believes in, would help rather than hurt. Indeed, she would have been right, too if it weren’t for certain people bashing her open-mindedness and acceptance of such a situation. Ironic that you criticized her on her close-mindedness earlier yet still brought that event up.
Finally, on your last point about aerial hunting not actually being hunting, that’s of course true in the traditional sense, but you seem to have already forgotten that they aren’t shooting the wolves for fun. Even the money offered is only meant to pay off the gas needed for such expeditions. It’s for the sake of the caribou and moose and the volunteers who target the wolves really believe this. Not because they just want to go, BANG BANG! Take that, ya varmint!
Simon Scowl
I doubt it’s worth an entire post especially due to the lack of fame on the part of the subject, but would this almost qualify as a Deceiver post? It seems that a certain poster here wrote of this article, “I thought the subject was wolves, but it seems to be just an excuse to glorify Palin” but then spent about half of the remaining post trying to tear Palin down with such lines as “She may be Governor of Alaska, but she knows nothing about wildlife, except how to kill it”, “Palin accusing ANYONE of belonging to a “fringe” group, or having radical ideas is mighty hypocritical”, or my personal favorite due to the utter crudeness on the part of the author, “Palin’s head is up her ass…”
It is very sad that Palin is encouraging the hunting of wolves. I mean I believe that nature has a built in balance that is kept in check by an uninterrupted ecosystem. Since human intervention has become more and more of a disturbance to the flora and fauna that inhabit this earth, the ecosystem has been thrown out of wack. Really i think we only have our selves to blame here and unfortunately the wolves have to pay the price of something we are responsible for essentially.
Where was this?
And she hunts and eats caribou. Which she can do because the wolves haven’t eaten all of them.
Oh please! I thought humans were animals. Why can’t a homo sapien kill another member of the animal kingdom? Other animals do it all the time.
(Emphasis mine)
Wait, there’s an aerial wolf-neutering campaign as well? This I gotta hear about.
You all know veganrampage is not reading your rebuttals. Veg is touched by a little Palin Derangement Syndrome and cares nothing for facts.
Angry Army Wife – I read the article about the baby – sad and horrifying – no celebrity will take up that cause. Outrage over killing animals and bashing Bush is fashionable and requires little thought.
I would like to know if the people who “create” these tiresome organizations have any legitimate “higher” education in the fields they are claiming to have knowledge in?
And you people who are going on about Palin, get a life…at least she hasn’t tried to hire three people who choose not to pay their taxes.
Rocko: Bush isn’t a danger anymore. He’s been humilated, mocked, and dressed down so much that no one will ever take him seriously again, and anyway, he can’t run for president.
Palin is the new danger. Apparently the gut reaction of the majority of liberals is to get hysterical and attack with whatever straws they can come up with until they have made the person a laughingstock. Facts? Irrelevant. What’s important is keeping conservatives so laughable that no one will put them in power again. Actually, I feel kind of bad for them–the current administration is going to make it SUPER hard for that to work, with the liberals in power behaving so laughably (cf. Obama’s “what we need is a change from the same old players,” and then dragging in all these old Clinton people).
Oh, and Sarah for president, y’all.
But Lisa, she’s a conservative, and that’s the one thing women aren’t allowed to be in America.
In my experience those on the far left who talk about exorcism and religion and say what a shame it all is have no problem believing in the power of crystals, psychics and aroma therapy.
In regards to this post, most of these groups are started and ran by people who have never lived closely with nature but who use the findings/statements of someone else to back their beliefs. I tend to give more credence to Sarah Palin since she actually gets off her ass-ets and interacts with the environment.
A vegan, a vegan! My kingdom for a vegan who can form a cohesive argument.
Beige – God forbid us women actually clinging to our guns, babies and religion. Not to mention family values.
Beige, you forgot to include minorities in that statement as well. An African American can’t be conservative, without being an uncle tom.
So Lena, if I’m reading you right, we should try as much as we can to have no impact on the ecosystem (even if this is impossible, impractical and maybe not even desirable)? Or we should do nothing but sit around and blame ourselves for disturbing the ecosystem?
And Loop – *there’s* a program we can get behind, neutering wolves! Instead of killing them, we can shoot them with sterility drugs so they can’t reproduce. Oops, that would be disturbing the ecosystem, wouldn’t it…
OK kids … no more cut-n-paste from other websites, m-kay? If you want to cite an advocacy group’s argument, just paste the URL into your comment.
Rob, too right. Our family doctor and his wife moved out of town b/c the other African-Americans were constantly on their case for “acting white”. WTF?
To borrow Jrod’s phrase, I’d hit it. Either one.
Hey! Look at me, being all bipartisan. The One would be pleased.
Women, minorities, college students . . . isn’t everybody looked down on for being conservative, though? I mean, really?
Habanada: Short answer: YES. Yes, we are. But in the case of women and minorities, whom the Democrats apparently feel they’ve bought and paid for, there’s an extra layer of hatred because we/they are believed to be “traitors”. So a white male conservative is hated for being a white male conservative, but a female conservative is hated for being disloyal, because [I think] the Dems believe they hold a lien on that womb and set of boobs. And that vote.
OT: I hadn’t mentioned it yet, but let me just say how much I enjoy (really, I do) seeing JRod’s “I’d hit it” comment attached to every post. In these uncertain times, it’s good to know there is something you can always count on.
“I enjoy seeing JRod’s “I’d hit it”… In these uncertain times, it’s good to know there is something you can always count on.”
That, and higher taxes.
i saw “wagyu steak”, and now i am hungry for it! best friggin meat ever! and no…not drowned in some wine sauce either. rare…no sauce, no nothing!
sorry, but if there was ever a type of meat that gives me a steif, its this one!
“I heard she also planned 9/11 and faked the moon landing.”
-lol! sarah palin wrote capricorn one!
wow! I wonder how those caribou survived for all these centuries before people invented airplanes and guns and started killing wolves to protect them.
Wow! I wonder how wolves survived for all those centuries before it became illegal to hunt them.
Funny that these problems didn’t arrive until humans moved in. Wolves and the caribou seemed to balance themselves out nicely without our intervention.
So…we should be hunting EACH OTHER from helicopters, then? Fine by me.