The whole story of Chris Brown allegedly hitting Rihanna in the face is so crazy and sad that I almost don’t want to report on it, even though the celebrity blogosphere is on fire with the drama. Both musicians canceled their scheduled performances at last night’s Grammys immediately before the ceremony began, and today more is coming to light about what happened in the infamous car ride to the awards show.
(Long, involved summary here for those of you who are interested in the sordid details.)
But the saddest thing about Chris Brown beating up a woman, whether it’s Rihanna or not, is how he has spoken openly about his anger over his abusive childhood. From a 2007 interview:
“I don’t want to mention the person’s name — it wasn’t my real father — but somebody hurt my mom and me, I had to deal with that from seven all the way to 13. It affected me, especially (my behavior) towards women — I treat them differently. I don’t want to put a woman through the same thing that person put my mom through.
“I was scared and timid when I was little. I used to pee in my bed… I think it was me being nervous, and scared to get up (out of bed) and see what was going on. My mom used to try and hide it from me and my sister, but we knew. Anybody that’s going through it, just try to deal with it, talk it out.”
You don’t smack one of the most famous singers in the world and recover from the press backlash. The guy’s career is over, but I just hope he seeks out counseling.
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Actually, domestic violence is a learned behavior. Even if you are aware that it’s horrible, that you never want to hurt someone you love, people see it growing up and it becomes ingrained as an option, even if it is a detestable option.
As for his career, I have a feeling there will be lot’s of record PR people all over this, smoothing over all of this as a misunderstanding and accident, nothing to see here.
Well, you can pee on a teenager and still make hit records, apparently, so I wouldn’t doubt it if Chris Brown’s career makes it.
Possibly, although I couldn’t name you a single song Ike Turner recorded, yet I still know his name.
I just hope she doesn’t go back to him.
“You don’t smack one of the most famous singers in the world and recover from the press backlash. The guy’s career is over, but I just hope he seeks out counseling.”
Holly I have to disagree. Although I would love to see it I don’t think anything will happen with his career. And I would bet money that this isn’t the first time he’s assaulted her…or the first time she’s gone or will go back to him. I sincerely hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think I will be.
Nothing will happen to his career if he’s making the right people a lot of money. I’m not sure if that’s the case with him.
My mom used to say “Hit me once, that’s your fault. Hit me again it’s mine.” If an attractive, famous, multimillionaire wants to hang out with a punk, woman beater than she needs her head examined, and I have no sympathy for her.
I doubt his career may be *over*, but his popularity may take a massive hit and you’re right: no way will he ever recover from the press backlash. Queen Bee made an excellent point that this behavior was ingrained in him, and if Rhianna has any sense she’ll distance herself from this while he gets the help he needs. If he became that violent, he has problems too big for her to be able to deal with.
Pasta took the words out of my mouth.
If she stays with him, it’s permission to smack her around again.
It takes two to develop this type of relationship; chances are there were several mini incidents leading up to this.
A pimp’s gotta keep his hoes in line now. She makes a little cheese and starts thinking she’s too good for him so he’s gotta smack her back down to reality you see.
Y’all are so very, terribly right, about the learned behavior, and about the fact that letting it slide just reinforces that behavior. I feel bad for both of them. That said, any man who ever hits me better kill me with one punch, or he’s a bad smell in the basement.
For many reasons, the abused don’t leave, but I don’t think it gives us the right to forget the fact that they’re the ones that got hit here.
It’s possible to get out, of course, but we can’t deny that it’s difficult.
Having never been in abusive relationships, can we truly call Rihanna stupid?
Now Chris Brown? Chris Brown we can call stupid.
It’s interesting to me that he can witness that level of domestic violence and then turn around and do it to his own girlfriend. It’s a shame he didn’t stay in jail longer.
Am I the only one that kinda thinks she looks like Prince?
I doubt very much that his career is over. In this business there is no such thing as bad publicity. Chris’s PR people who will be working over time to cover this up. Yes, Pasta I have thought that some time.
I am not going to get on my soapbox and I don’t know anyone’s background here but I will say I grew up in an extremely abusive house for most of my life. Beatings verbally and physically were practically daily routines. Without going into the deep sordid details, the pattern of abuse is something you carry with you. And it is easy to let yourself fall into that trap. I have an incredibly violent urges when I become angry that I know come from my past. You can’t let such things take over but it can be very easy to let it out.
This by no means excuses Chris Brown if he did actually hit her but it something I can understand. The next step for him is seek the counseling he needs to he knows how to release the anger he feels without the need to be violent.
Rhianna needs to stay away from him.
Agreed, Pasta. I didn’t even notice it until now…anyway, I agree with many of the other commentors that unfortunately I don’t think Chris Brown’s career is over. He will always have a horrible stigma attached to him and he will never be as loved as he once was but he will still pop up on MTV and keep making records. Roman Polanksi seduced and molested a twelve year old and now it’s like that never even happened. Then of course there’s R.Kelly.
No, Chris Brown career is not over. We can be sure that some spin doctor will pull a stunt out of his hat. It will be a mix of Abusive Childhood/Drug Abuse/Stress/Rihanna’s Fault that will be followed by a mellow “I dint do nuttin’ but I hurt you and I am sorry” song. Of course, Rihanna will forgive him to not do waves and it will all vanish out into the darkness until he hit her again.
Besides, how many times O.J. Simpson bounced Nicole Brown’s head off their house’s walls before he (alleged) killed her?
Katy wrote: “Roman Polanksi seduced and molested a twelve year old and now it’s like that never even happened.”
Good point Katy. Add to that Woody Allen, who rather than hearing condemnation merely became the butt of mild jokes for a few months.
minnow, pasta took the words right out of my mouth as well. shame on chris if he did do this
Pasta, I normally love you… I normally enjoy reading your comments almost as much as the posts. However the whole hit me once shame on you hit me twice shame on me is very disappointing to me coming from you. There are hundred reasons why these women don’t leave, most importantly is that leaving often times doesn’t end the abuse. For example Jennifer Hudson’s sister Julia left William Balfour, and we all know how that turned out. Sadly, his career is probably not over, and now I will feel guilty for listening to his music.
I’m just curious about our societal hypocrisy in the realm of spousal abuse. I know it’s not *specifically* on topic, but this thread is going to turn into everyone’s opinions/stories about spousal abuse anyway, so here I go.
If Rihanna had punched him in the face, what would have happened? Would anybody have said a word? I know it’s touted around a lot “men are stronger than women, so they shouldn’t hit them,” but why is it acceptable and even comic that women can hit men? Female-on-male abuse is just as real, but in its own way (and I’m not pardoning male-on-female abuse by a long shot), it’s worse because the victims have fewer options.
No one should hit any one for any reason. And most of you need an english lesson or two.
I heard it was because Rhianna gave him herpes…Not from a reliable source, but I think if there was any cause to slap a ho, it would be because they gave you herpes.
Totally kidding its NOT ok for him to beat her up, but i can’t say I wouldnt slap a man if he gave them to me.
If she had hit Chris, people would ask what he did to deserve it and still find a way to blame the him.
The only *justifiable* reason to hit someone is in self-defense, but since CB walked away unscathed, it’s unlikely that was the case. Still, no one knows what happened, just that a female had visible injuries and CB hurt them enough for it to be a felony.
Female-on-male abuse is far from comical, and what’s worse is it makes the male feel humiliated to report it. It’s even sadder that there are few “safe house” places where abused men can go and take their children with them.
It’s sad that partners have hard time leaving abusive partners. Sometimes, the abuse is not just physical, but verbal and the abusing partner runs down the self-esteem of the other so much it makes them feel as if no one else really wants them and they should stick it out and be thankful someone “cares” about them. One of my friends has been practically beaten to death several times by her excuse for a husband, yet the poor gal has no self-esteem and she keeps going back because she truly believes no one else would want her and she’d never make it by herself. He made her believe that. She’s always bailing him out of jail, or dropping charges so he’ll never learn. There’s only so much I can do as far as making her feel like she CAN make it on her own
A couple years of friendship can’t reverse 13 years of damage caused by verbal and physical abuse, but I’m not gonna give up on her.
Hopefully CB learns from this. He’s still young, there’s still *some* hope left that he won’t do this again next time he loses his temper.
Latest word is he bit her and caused contusions on her. I don’t care what you do, nobody deserves to get hit.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29106475/
Awwww I love you too mattiesmom, but you have to admit she isn’t exactly the average abused woman. Millions of dollars, probably a security team, PR people, managers etc. She could get away from him pretty easy I’m sure. Maybe. I don’t know. Whatever.
Unless he decked her for “Umbrella” or whatever it was called. For that she deserves it.
This whole sordid affair is sad, from Chris Brown’s admitted anger issues to Rihanna’s getting a beat-down. I hope she leaves him so far in the dust he has to dig up to get to bottom.
But it does make me wonder how long it’s going to take for fellow musicians, producers, friends, and rabid fans to come out and excuse his behavior…coz, you know, he’s so cute and hot and talented and stuff. Maybe she walked in on a really super important recording session or something. Or started fiddling with the lights in the middle of his song.
Sidenote: I’m proud of Jrod for showing some restraint here which, under the circumstances, would not come out right.
Thank you, Ani. You are so, so right, and it is a condition dismally ignored in our society. I do agree–no one should hit anyone. If I were in a relationship with anyone, I would never hit him for any reason, and I would expect the same respect from him. Similarly, any woman who contends that it’s her prerogative to hit her man for any reason at all should be willing to accept the same from him.
Sorry Holly but the hip hop culture doesn’t penalize men for abusing women, they celebrate it. look at all the wanna be gangsters who have had lots of press over using and abusing girls and nothing ever comes of it.
Habanada, you’re so right on the double standard. Nobody needs to hit anybody, but we tend to look askance at men who get hit almost as much as we do men who do the hitting, and that’s messed up.
Oh–and flaminpubes, it’s “English”. With a capital “E”.
BTW, Thank you Holly. My normal “Modus operandi” would not be appropriate here. Mother would be proud of the restraint I have shown.
“But it does make me wonder how long it’s going to take for fellow musicians, producers, friends, and rabid fans to come out and excuse his behavior…coz, you know, he’s so cute and hot and talented and stuff.”
If someone excuses that sort of behavior, that is a shame. There’s no excuse for anyone to do that to someone. I think if the fellow musicians came out and excused his behavior during the current tide against him, they could damage their own “credibility”.
Well, Wrigley Gum and now the Milk campaign has dropped him. According to sources, they got into a fight, she tossed his keys out the window and he chocked her until she was unconscious. She is currently working with the DA to bring this ahole to justice. I gather before she was chocked, she was knocked around since she has two huge contusions on her forehead and a swollen and bloody lip. Sources claim that her parents are taking her back to Barbados and away from him, at least for now. Especially since he is out and not in jail awaiting charges.
Very good point, Aleric. Turn on a radio sometime and listen to the lyrics to some of these popular rap songs . . . can anyone say that a rapper hitting his girlfriend is a huge shock? I think it was QB who said a bunch of comments ago that when people grow up around that kind of abuse, it’s always in their mind as an option, unpleasant as it may be; does the presence of abuse in song lyrics, I wonder, ever begin to make itself an option? (Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge opponant of the ‘you are what you listen to’ philosophy, mostly because I listened to Eminem for years without ever being even remotely tempted to do drugs, drink, or abuse or kill people. However, I can’t deny that some more weak-minded individuals have expressed a penchant to let music control them–like that dumb teenager like a decade ago who killed himself to ‘Adam’s Song’ because he thought it was about suicide.)
Which is not hypocrisy. However, in this story, I think we’re looking at a “Mangelina Jolie turnaround”–”I can’t stand people who have affairs! Let me go back to my married boyfriend now.” It’s a case of “I can’t stand abusive violence in the home! Let me go keep my bitch in line now.” Honestly, Rihanna should’ve popped him back. Put that umbrella to good use, lady.
I’ve read reports of bite marks on Rihanna, too. Somebody bites me, I break my foot off in him. If she even THINKS about going back to him after this, she’s got problems she probably can’t even spell, herself. This whole story is absolutely revolting.
Rihanna is so beautiful. I hope she isn’t scarred, either physically OR mentally, by this horrible assault. I admit, I thought Chris Brown was darling. NO LONGER.
I dont know, I can’t blame him for that, I mean he was abused when he was younger, but then again he should have not done that… Expecially to his own girlfriend.
I just can’t believe that even happendd..
P
I’m hoping she leaves him and never goes back. It’s not so much about being “strong enough to leave”. Leaving will be easy. It will be trying not to go running back that will take a LOT of strength. She’ll probably have a long road of emotional recovery, could take years, but it’s best to be depressed, single and SAFE… than miserable with someone who already assaulted her badly and could very well do so again.
At least she has being INDEPENDENTLY rich and famous on her side. Most people who get the crap beaten out of them by their partners are either (1) dirt poor (2) relying on their abusive partner’s bringing home the bacon.
I sincerely hope that someone (Jay-Z) starts an auction where people can bid on the privilege of beating the living crap out of Chris Brown.
Wow, how did I never come back to this thread? I’ve missed some amazing comments…
Interesting how Michael Phelps smokes some pot (causing “harm” to himself… I’m not debating drugs in here
) and the media won’t let it go that Keloggs dropped him. Chris Brown abuses an equally famous singer girlfriend and it’s backburnered on who’s dropping him like a rock. Personally, I’d rather we didn’t highlight either one, but if we’re going to talk about Phelps…
Just found this!!!!! Rihanna breakup song to Chris Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNoFn4gmE3k
Fake. That’s not Rihanna’s voice.
1st of al ya’ll no 1 knows da full storie. y are we judging da poor boi we dont really no wat went wrong . Yes wat he did was wrong but still who r we 2 judge we just have 2 wait and ear his side of da storie, like wtf Rihanna has some thing 2 do with 2 but she just not speaking . I dont care im still gonna be one of hes fan…
Whatever! Good for her! she proble desereved it. I d c; I’m ALWAYS gonna be his fan. I hate rhianna. good for you dum bitch. I’m on chris’ side.
Wow. There definitely have been a few Children Left Behind, here. Genius has its limits, but apparently stupidity is bottomless.
it really sucks that this happened to Rihanna, she seems like such a sweet girl
It didn’t “happen”. That’s what criminals–and I’m not including you in that, coffee–usually say. “I’m sorry for what happened.” Chest colds happen. Tornadoes happen. Bad hair happens. Violent assaults? Are perpetrated. By criminals. Just like Chris Brown.
dang chris why did u take drugs? why did u beat rihanna?
you know we all love you, and what happend to you is really sad but you should have goton some help from someone. sucks for you to be in jail?
honestly i think she deserved it because
if someone gave me herpes i would be off.
n thats her fault for not telling him.
so therefore rhiannas guilt is with this.
Destinie, unless that was meant sarcastically, you’re pretty much an idiot. Seriously. Hate to break it to you.
I just wanted to say, although Chris Brown did his some women and you were speaking on his childhood. The statistic is that most people who were in abusive relationships go back 5-6 times before they leave for good and children who grow up with abuse in their house are 4 times as likely to become abusive.
pschh…herpes…big deal…just…eat around it
…or think of it as a nice personal Valentine’s Day gift. That just keeps on giving.
i think that the media gets into peoples business WAY TOO MUCH. the story that we hear about is NEVER the real story. who even really knows what happened. i still love both chris and rihanna, and i think there careers will still be strong, even though people may think of chris as a bad person, no one really knows the true story so you have to look passed it.
Since whatever the “true story” was, it involved bite marks on Rihanna, as well as multiple bruises and contusions, whereas Brown apparently walked away. ‘Splain to us, O Arbiter of Reality, just exactly how that vindicates Brown. Because it doesn’t.
Also, it’s “people’s”, “their”, and “past”. Even a piss-poor argument like yours would benefit from a skosh of literacy. I’m just sayin’.
Chris is my man and I love him. But that was just wrong! I really don’t like Rihanna, but never hit a girl. I am known around my school for being the first teen to help older people with counsleing and have recieved an award. I would love to help chris! I am a pro.
SHE DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE A WOMAN NOT A PUNCHING BAG SO TAKE CARE OF HER PROPERLY AND LOVE HER LIKE AWOMAN.AS FOR RIHANNA SHE STOP MAKING OUT AND START TREATIN HIM LIKE A HUSBAND OR A REAL BOY FRIEND
Oh, dear. I’ma pop a caps lock in somebody.
that is not true, did u see it with your own eyes?.
And you’re referring to…?