Realizing that his nonapology apology made him look like even more of a prick, Chris Brown has retained the services of a crisis-management public relations firm. Although it’s a little unclear which one.
Some reports say it’s Alan Nierob of Rogers & Cowan, who handled Mel Gibson’s PR debacle when he was revealed to be a raging anti-Semite.
But Radar says it’s Sitrick & Company, whose client list includes such notable has-beens as Rush Limbaugh (for the Oxycontin scandal) and Paris Hilton (for her DUI).
Tough call there. Given the choice between the two, I’d personally pick Sitrick & Company because few people think “hit and run” when they contemplate Halle Berry, so they’ve proven to be at least somewhat competent at making problems go away.
But still, what’s the one thing that all these clients have in common? Guilt. (And money, I guess.)
For those of you keeping score at home, so far that means Chris Brown has supposedly sought help from: 1.) his parents; 2.) his pastor; 3.) the hip-hop community; and 4.) a team of spin doctors. Observant Deceiver commenters, tell me what is missing from this list…
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I’m gonna go with Santa.
How about the prez? Hope and change, y’all. With pardons if someone beat me to it.
He should have sought help from The Spin Doctors, not just any spin doctors. If so, he would have known that the “little miss can’t be wrong”
Rush Limbaugh a has-been? Didn’t he just recently sign a bijillion dollar contract? If that’s a has-been, then sign me up.
What about a razor, warm running water, a bottle of vodka and a lot of sleeping pills?
Just a thought.
I’m going to go with the celeb classic… Rehab.
Have to agree with stonegrigio…Limbaugh is still the top radio talker, hardly a has-been. Paris Hilton is still with us and probably will be like the cockroaches, unable to die off.
He needs to channel Ike if he wants to get out of this with any sort of dignity. Oh wait, Ike admitted he slapped Tina around.
I’m curious to see what Jay Z, who discovered Rihanna, is going to do with regards to Brown. I mean, the kid’s career is never, ever, going to recover no matter who or how many spin doctors he hires. I see an Oprah special in the making.
God rest his soul, Johnnie Cochran is missing from this list.
I would have guessed at PETA, but maybe I’m wrong.
Nothing like a good ol’ posing-naked-for-the-fluffies session to revive a career.
Oh, wait…
Seriously–instead of furiously backpedaling and asking for protection, dude just needs to forget about an entertainment career, and go join the Peace Corps or go to DeVry or something. Unless they punish you for biting the hell out of Third-World orphans/teaching assistants. That could be a problem.
This guy is just a kid who got caught setting the house pet on fire. The only way he had to redeem himself was to say at the first opportunity: “I did it, I am a monster and I need help”.
He dint. Now, he’s just a kid trying to find a bad excuse about why Fluffy’s pelt is still smoking.
I find myself disagreeing to a certain extent.
I think his career might suffer a little, but if Michael Jackson can get away with molesting kids and R. Kelly can get away with peeing on underage girls…well, I don’t see it turning out too bad for him.
He forgot to ask for help from his boxing trainer.
Kas: don’t forget an unnanounced visit from Dr. Phil at the end of the rehab stint.
My guess would be Oprah. He hasn’t gone sobbing onto her show to tell people he’s really just a big clumsy teddy bear.
make way for celeb rehab 3! with kenickie and that guns und roses drummer.
i just have a feeling that this will all get glossed over, and the public will go back to loving him.
Guys, the answer I was looking for was “qualified mental-health professional.” But I’m LMAO over Santa and Oprah.
Annie, I appreciate the analogy but Chris Brown assaulted someone who is at least as famous if not moreso than he is. What if Michael Jackson had to face a rap of raping a 13-year old Macaulay Culkin, who at that point would still be instantly recognizable from the Home Alone movies? I think that parallel sort of gets to the heart of it, it’s not some nameless girl that was abused but a fresh and contemporary Grammy award-winning singer, and thus I think it’s gotta be something that will really ever be smoothed over. As far as I can tell his stuff’s been pulled off FM radio. Even his Sesame Street episode has been cut, never to be aired again.
We haven’t even really see Rihanna’s response, she could go for broke and completely demonize the man at this point, and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Get Rihanna up there on Oprah with the police photos and some of the juicy quotes we’ve been seeing and she can play the heroine and strong woman (and I quite like Rihanna so that’s not a bad thing) and this man can effectively forget about any record deals for a long, long time.
Therapy is the obvious answer. We are simply providing some alternatives.
Originally, I thought he would go the Denis Leary route: Ooopps, I f-d up. He would do his time in rehab, do the tour of contrition on talk shows then have a People Magazine Cover “Chris Brown is back and better then ever!” However, J Z has threatened to kill him if he ever sees him so that may be off the table. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out.
In a 24-7 news/internet cycle his career is as good as gone. I think his window of opportunity to recover and get some traction on the redemption train has gone. The question I have is, what does he do now if he cannot perform, sell records, and has a detrimental image to boot.
Yes Holly, a mental health professional would be a good start but we all know that Oprah is far more qualified to help troubled young people that someone who has a medical degree or a doctorate in psychology.
Like Paris Hilton, Rush Limbaugh remains scandal-proof no matter what they do unlike Mr Brown who is quickly discovering the downside of the fame game.
Yeah, on the public relations scale, I’d put him somewhere between “A-Rod” and “Manson.”
Al Sharpton? I’m surprised he didn’t have anyth to say about this…so far. I was expecting him to jump up and start pointin’ out how axl rose’s/tommy lee’s music was never kicked off the air or how there never was such a big fuss over, say, hayden pannitiere (misspelled) dad’s antics or smth along those lines…but i guess he was too busy getting all worked up over that chimpanze cartoon.
i did hear mark geragos may be chris’ attorney. i typed his name in on google and i forgot about all the high profile cases mark has done
sorry i clicked submit before i finished.. lol i meant to also say if mark geragos is his attorney, he fits in great then because it seems mark will go where the spotlight goes..
I gotta disagree with you, too, Annie. It goes beyond recognizing her because she’s wildly famous. People out there idolized R. Kelly for his music despite his personal character, and people (like our beloved Kaylee) will do the same for Brown. However, people idolize her for hers, too, not simply recognize her, and for the people who ONLY care about the music, there will be a lot of side-choosing just based on that. Had I not known the details of the whole thing – not that making assumptions like this is a good thing – I’d still side more with Rihanna because, frankly, I like her music better.
Plus, I know plenty of people who switch the radio at R. Kelly because once they learned about pissing on a teenager, well, it’s branded in their brains.
Besides, opening his mouth with anything but profuse apologies, real tears, and real remorse is doing him absolutely no favors. He’s almost going out of his way to make himself look worse. It’s even better next to her being quiet (though, if she’s spoken up and I missed it, please correct me). Her silence next to his martyring himself may even be just as damaging as crying to Oprah.
I would pay to see this!
Martial Arts Expert Challenges Chris Brown to a Fight
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,495744,00.html
“But Radar says it’s Sitrick & Company, whose client list includes such notable has-beens as Rush Limbaugh (for the Oxycontin scandal)”
Rush Limbaugh is a has been? According to the numbers he pulls in more listeners than any other person on the radio.
Seriously, he needs a psychiatrist, anger management classes, and maybe some meds. Jail time would be good but I suppose that is wishful thinking.
This falls under the black eye of love…cause she still loves him damnit! and you all just don’t understand…he didn’t mean it
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/17/2009-02-17_rihanna_is_torn_over_helping_police_with.html
and of course it wasn’t really all that bad.
http://www.winnipegsun.com/entertainment/dailydish/2009/02/19/8443156-sun.html
Annie: “I don’t see it turning out too bad for him”
I couldn’t agree more. What he should do is stop the sympathy tour and drop out of sight for a while. The general public has the attention span of a gnat and will move on to the next “big” thing (OMG, does angelina have a baby bump?!). Put out a good album in a year and he’ll be praised for his ‘comeback’.
Of course this is what he ’should’ do. What I’d like to see happen is for him to be stoned. With millions of teeny, tiny pebbles. So it would take longer.
For the record, I’d hit it. With a Truck.
Jay-Z has threatened to kill Brown if he sees him? There’s hope for the hip-hop community yet.
Jay-Z could always smash Brown under the weight of that gigantic head of his. Jay-Z’s I mean not Brown. Because Jay-Z has a big head you see. Do you think the necks on all of his sweaters are all stretched out?
And I agree Jrod I’d hit him with a truck too. Of course mine would have a really, really shiny gold colored “grill”. Is that irony?
Only time will tell I suppose.
But hey, Ike and Tina made it a thing of beating the crap out of each other…..
And I love the article about the Martial Arts Expert challenging him. Classic.
Annie, I felt the same way when I read it. Isn’t it funny when guys try to act tough and then run away scared? Kind of like Chris is doing now. His apology is about as thoughtful as Bill Clinton’s.
Sad that there are so few real men in the world nowadays.
Annie, this time I must vehemetly disagree. There are millions of “real” men in this country. It’s only the losers that get all the attention. Think of all the awesome guys out there who get up each day, work long hours, love their kids, mow the lawn, work the BBQ, take out the garbage and bring their wife a glass of wine when she asks. Where’s the freaking news coverage of that?! Oh that’s right, I forgot, doing the right thing is BORING.
Sorry to unload on you, it’s just a subject that gets my hackles up. Unless you were being sarcastic and then I admit it, you totally got me.
@Winewife: What you said. My husband is absolutely one of the real men, which for him includes having enlisted in the Marines for Desert Shield/Storm and Somalia. He’s an awesome husband, friend and father. And although I could piss off just about anybody, he has never even indicated that hitting me was a possibility.
This just in: JRod, I love ya, darlin’.
Rofl. Yea, I was being sarcastic.
I was making a jab at the millions of girls who look at Brown as a real man because he sings and dances, but they don’t look at the sweet guy down the street who picked you a flower.
It’s all good though.
Jrod, can I ride shotgun or did Pasta grab the seat?
“Think of all the awesome guys out there who get up each day, work long hours, love their kids, mow the lawn, work the BBQ, take out the garbage and bring their wife a glass of wine when she asks.”
Don’t forget the burping of the alphabet and the taking naps on the sofa with both hands in their pants pockets.
Or is that just mine?
Eh, Annie, not *no*, but certainly *few*. Cf. Flannery O’Conor’s “A Good Man Is Hard To Find.”
Annie: “Rofl. Yea, I was being sarcastic”
Whoops! Oh well, that’s what makes me so fun at parties, I’ll fall for anything! I like your image of the sweet guy who picks you a flower. I hope Rihanna goes for one of those next…
And Minnow I hear you about the burping. My (future) husband burped “I love you” on one of our first dates. Classy!
If my boyfriend can stand my sheer insanity, nit-picking and all around bitchery without ever so much as yelling, there is no excuse for people like Chris Brown. My man is definitely in that “real men” category (and no, not just because he doesn’t hit me, that should always be part of the deal, heh).
i’ll wait and see if chris’ career is actually over…we have short term memories and i mentioned before there are other celebrities, one who is nominated for an oscar on sunday that beat hos woman too…
“one who is nominated for an oscar on sunday…”
two, actually – sean penn mickey rourke
Beige- My husband was in Astan for a year and does not tolerate much. He is a real man because he loves grilling, spending time with me and taking me for rides on his Harley. He actually threw a man through a window for hitting his sister, so god love him
That’s hot. LOL.
Mine farts in the bathroom, then locks me in it as he’s cackling on the other side.
But he also brought me back to the place where we had our first kiss on Valentine’s day and told me that he remembers this place every time we kiss.
He buys me groceries and brings me Del Taco when I’m sad. He loves our dog and tells me he loves me every morning.
Gotta love the real men in our lives.
Real men in our lives are great.
So long as we’re sharing stories, mine gave me a rose for Valentine’s day (among a gift he paid too much for and candy, too). He was the first man to ever do so. When it died, I crushed it in a book so it’d be preserved.
since I’ll never sell back that American lit. anthology anyway ;]
First time I’ve ever posted, but the discussion on real men gives me cause: Here’s my story…
I dated this guy for 5 years, got married in 2000. We were married for nearly 6 years. During that time, he hit me, called me names, and attempted other forms of abuse. I put up with it because I thought he loved me – just like other abused women. I stayed because I didn’t want to admit that I’d chosen him and therefore felt as though I deserved whatever I got. I wised up when I got pregnant the third time – I had had 2 miscarriages before this. I stayed through the pregnancy, but by this time I was pretty much living with my parents again. After my son was born, I filed for divorce (he was 4 months old). I decided that I was not going to put my child in danger. So I divorced him. Well, during my recovery period (between the filing and final decree) I met a man. He had just recently been divorced himself, and found out about me via my cousin (who was seeing one of this new guy’s friends). He emailed me and we started talking. We had our first date that September, started dating that October, and are going to be married this May. He is a real man because he treats my son as though he is his own – he is his Daddy, if not his biological father. He helps me around the house, works his rear end off, treats me right, and while we have had arguments, he has never EVER laid a hand on me in an abusive manner. He and my son are so wonderful to watch – people are absolutely shocked when they realize that he’s my son’s stepdad rather than actual father. That’s a real man – a man who will love and take care of a child that he didn’t father.
That being said, I hope that Rihanna decides to take a stand for abused women – that it can happen to anyone. As for Brown, so you were abused as a child. So f’n what? Does that give you the right to knock the crap outta someone you “love”? No. I’m sick of the excuses. They don’t mean much except you’re sorry that you got caught.
Dyana, Annie, Anni and AAW: I’m glad for y’all. Truly.
It’s all about character, you guys – what a man (or woman) does at any given moment, especially in times of conflict, stress and emotions running amok.
Here’s to all the awesome, unsung men out there who do the right thing and don’t make the news…they are the best.
haha thats funny. his career is definatelyyyy notttttt over. he has a new movie coming out. like 2 new movies. anddd a new album. so suck it!
i so angry with Kimmy how dare you diss Chris like that you do not even know the full story and you have not heard what Chris brown has to say so sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh