Over at Concurring Opinions, George Washington University law professor Daniel Solove is blogging about the scam that is FreeCreditReport.com. It turns out that it’s not, well … free. Once you sign up, you’re on the hook for monthly charges unless you opt-out.
(If you want the no-strings-attached version from the credit reporting agencies themselves, by the way, it’s here.)
Few things tick me off more than a marketing push that is the exact opposite of what it claims to be. “Free” is one of the most unambiguous words in the English language. No fair farking it all up with fine print about something called “Triple Advantage” that sounds like a pair of windshield-wiper blades. No fair.
If you’re tired of the cheesy commercials above, there is hope at last — thanks to the fine, fine institution of the YouTube parody. Take it away, kids! (Some are NFSW.)
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You know what else is a scam? That egghead that sells those “free” computer learning software programs. If you want to keep from getting ripped off, assume everything is a rip-off. That’s a good baseline to start from.
Cynicism thy name is Pastafarian. Or is it muscular, and handsome? Yeah I like that better.
I agree, Pasta. If it’s too good to be true, then it’s because it is.
Yeah, Pasta, it’s like those consumer advocates say, ’semper paratus.’ Or is it ‘ipsum lorem factum’? My Latin is a little rusty…
Those commercials are so obnoxious. They’re just as bad as the cavemen commercials. Although the lizard ones aren’t so bad.
Pasta – love the cynicism as that is how I view all of these offers. It’s pure bait & switch. Name it exactly what it isn’t to fool us “rubes”.
Oversneer – have you checked out the Cash4Gold deal? Is it legit? Sounds pretty stupid to me: send us your gold — which you have no idea how much it weighs or what it is worth — and we will pay you what we want. I have not checked it out but I am not that trusting and it seem like a great opportunity to rip everyone off.
You know what? As long as freecreditreport.com doesn’t employ Billy Mays to scream at us, I’m cool with whatever. Bring me the head of Billy Mays, is what I’m sayin’ here.
Every time one of those commercials comes on I ask my wife the same question – “If it’s free, how the hell are they able to afford all this advertising?”
bigmama – that damn lizard has cost me an arm and a leg. My three year old daughter loves the Geiko Gecko and freaks out every time he’s on TV, to the point my wife got her a 3 foot tall stuffed replica that the kid can barely manage to drag from room to room. Advertising really sucks when it’s THAT effective.
Years ago, I got my free credit report from freecreditreport.com (this was pre-law school, where I learned that in my state I am entitled to a free one from each once a year, but I digress) and it was free, but I was lazy about actually downloading it from the link, and by the time I got around to it, I had to pay to see it again. I think the site, at least at that time, was pretty clear about whether you had to pay, not so much on how quickly you needed to try to look at the documents they provided to you!
My Latin is a little rusty too. But that’s what he gets if he keeps making me lock him in the basement. Good help is so hard to find.
I disagree. I have gotten their free services and liked them so much I spent some of the money I won in the Nigerian lottery to buy more of their products. I couldn’t be happier except when the PC Doctor wanted to exam my prostate…….
Julie – I agree with you about the Cash4Gold thing. I can just imagein the call when you stuff the bag with precious heirlooms hoping to get enough to buy some food. No check comes. You call them. They claim they never got the gold of that the check is in the mail. Makes you wonder if they would have their complaint number disconnected like United Air’s complaint line.
“that damn lizard has cost me an arm and a leg.”
I feel for you Scott. At least your gecko doesn’t say “aaaaaa-flack” over and over at 3am.
And BTW, the pirate singer is lip-syncing — from Quebec, I think — plenty of links about the Free Credit Report Band…www.freecreditreportband.com. Funny commercials, though.
The PC Doctor makes house calls now Hurricane?!?! Then who the Hell is the guy I’VE been going to?
Minnow, I like the AFLAC duck. Especially when he hooked up with Yogi Bera. The line “And they give you cash, which is just as good as money” still cracks me up.
Anyone ever see that MADtv parody?
Those parodies were pretty amazing. However, the muscular, handsome, cynical Pasta is once more right as always.
Let me reword this – it’s not that he’s lip-syncing, which he is — most commercials’ singers do that, because the actual voices are recorded in a studio, and they just lip-sync to a sound track on location for the sake of the film, or music video. In “his” case though, it’s not his actual voice we’re hearing. So, report not free, voice not real — Oh, the Deception!
freecreditreport.com isn’t really “the exact opposite of what it claims to be.” I used it a while back, was pleased with it (and, surprisingly, my report – I wasn’t as screwed as I thought), and was never charged anything. I admit I don’t remember what the process was to “opt out” (I don’t even remember there being a process at all – though, there must be, if you have to pay otherwise), but I think this is a good reminder to read the fine print, peeps.
I tried freecreditreport.com about a year ago, and remember VIVIDLY what I had to do to opt out. You can’t do it online – you have to call in, and keep saying, “No, no, no, I don’t care, I want to cancel,” while a relentless salesperson tells you how you are screwing up your entire life by opting out.
Agree with Beige – Billy Mays is the worst. WHO is buying stuff based on his yelling? Clearly someone must be, since he keeps getting work.
1 AM OLD IN YEARS BUT NEW TO THE INTERNET SINCE I RETIRED AND I AM TRULY AMAZED AT THE SCAMS ON THE INTERNET!~!. i just about got sucked in to a phoney loan up in M.D. THANKS TO A BLOOGER ON YU-TUBE I BECAME AWARE AND I SAVED $725. WHEN I FOUND OUT THEY WERE USING A BIG NAME COMPANY TO MAKE YOU BELIVE THEY WERE FOR REAL.IT WAS A REAL LET DOWN BUT I SAVED PART OF MY SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK AND PUT A FRUAD ALERT ON MY PERSONAL INFO.THANK YOU (YU-TUBE)PERSON/I WILL BE MORE AWARE OF THE JUNGLE OUT THERE BUT THANKS TO THE INTERNET AND YOU I AM SO MUCH WISER. GOD BLESS!
THANKS TO A (YU-TUBE)BLOOGER YOU SAVED ME FROM THROWING (SERVICE-FEE)AT A PHONEY LOAN SCAM IN GOOD OLD M.D.!!! GOD -BLESS!