Holy terrine of duck with wine-glazed shallots, Batman — It’s an old-fashioned staring contest between two culinary killers!
Martha Stewart landed in the #6 slot in the Douchebags bracket, but it had nothing to do with her prison stint for insider-trading. Nope — that old kung-fu is stale, but Martha’s got new magic.
The homemaking queen mocked Sarah Palin for her universally panned, horribly offensive pre-Thansgiving visit to a turkey slaughterhouse. Then she showed all of America how to properly gut a bird. Complete with the sound of breaking bones. In the same broadcast segment.
Think that’s Deceiver-worthy? Sure, but Martha’s not a shoe-in to make it to Round Two. Rachael Ray, the TV-chef world’s perky answer to Katie Couric, got in her own hot water after she wrote recipes for Modern Dog magazine that contained Fido-fatal ingredients.
And then there was the time she spit out her Dunkin’ Donuts coffee — the coffee brand whose commercial she was in the middle of shooting — and demanded some Starbucks before she would do another take. You stay classy, Rachael!
This poll — and today’s seven other Round 1 matchups — will be open for 24 hours. Updated Brackets will be posted tomorrow.
Deceiver Madness '09 Round 1 (Douchebags bracket): Pick the bigger hypocrite
- Rachael Ray (11) (55%)
- Martha Stewart (6) (45%)
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Martha, just because she’s a snotty bitch.
I’m no fan of Martha Stewart, but Rachel Ray is the worst offender here. Adding onions to her doggie recipes makes her not only an idiot, but a dangerous idiot. Her diva like behavior in dissing Dunkin’ Donuts, her employers, in favor of crap Starbucks coffee is just the icing on the cake.
Rachael Ray, because I just don’t like her.
This was a tough one as they are both divas, but in the end Martha wins. She’s got more years of abuse under her belt.
Martha Martha Martha
(read that a la Jan Brady)
Killing doggies is bad!
Ray’s presence in/on everything today (TV, books, cookware, …) perturbs me to no end. Go away… please go away. Far, far, away…
Went with Stewart for her hypocrisy on the turkey.
I voted Martha, even though I didn’t like Palin I was offended by the whole “Oh she’s such a bad person!” crap.
I hate rachel ray…
she should be shot.
Ray, because Martha is in mourning.
Rachel Ray for the upset
Dogkilling recipes and spitting out the coffee she’s advertising > Usual American hypocrisy about where meat comes from.
Rachel Ray wins.
Rachel Ray, because her hypocrisy and her unrelenting perkiness.
RR, just because she’s too stupid. I bet she has “breathe in, breathe out” tattooed on the inside of her eye lids to help her to remember to breathe!
Rachel Ray. If you watch her show, you’ll just see a crazy in her eyes. She always looks like she is trying to act peppy, while her eyes say that she would like to throw her assistant’s head in the boiling pot.
Every time I see Rachael Ray’s face or hear her voice, I have a physical reaction that makes me nauseous. Starbucks is crap, she wants to kill my dog, she can’t cook, and she’s so completely annoying that I can’t even buy Triskets anymore because they had her ugly mug on ‘em for a while.
Great, now I’m gonna have her stupid “Yum-o” voice in my head all morning. Must. Open. Bourbon. Bottle. Now.
I went with Martha because Martha has annoyed me for years. Rachel may be coming on strong but Martha has time on her side.
Martha for the win, because her recipes are difficult at best. I mean who keep parchment paper in their cooking supplies?
I went with Martha cause she has annoyed me for years and years and years. I also use Rachel Ray’s recipes quite a bit and enjoy her meals. I hate the fact about the doggie meals, but her few offenses are nothing compared to Martha.
Martha, because it takes a special person to do flip-flopping on TV in a 10-minute space.
Martha but it was a close one.
Ummm… actually Lisa, I use parchment paper all the time.
But despite my love of paper lined cookie sheets, I still voted Martha. She’s been on my last nerve for years.
For the woman that brought us the acronym EVOO…
Rachel’s voice is just too grating to the senses to not vote for her.
RR, because of her crap dog recipes (she also makes a dog food that’s called “Nutrish” and is full of crap).
Martha. She has annoyed me over the years. Plus, I like Rachel’s meals.
Martha wins this round – Rachel Ray is up and coming, Martha has arrived
Hey, I can’t fault RR for spitting out the Dunkin’s coffee, it’s always tasted like dishwater to me!
As for MS, who I voted for, I was a big fan of hers from way back because she (and her sweet mom) taught me all the things that my mother never bothered to teach me amd should have. She also made it fashionable and OK to care about, and take pride in, your home again, a sentiment which the wommen’s lib movement turned into a disease. But since she got out of jail, she’s been on an anti-Republican jag, and she’s constantly spewing biased and false info against Reps on her show every chance she gets. It’s gotten so ridiculous (“..Bush banned ALL stem cell research…”) I just can’t stand her any more, and probably won’t buy anymore of her products again. :-p
Heheh, I use parchment paper too because of MS, it’s awesome for cleanup!
RR just because.
RR. Some dogs probably died because of her.
Martha can cook – Rayray cannot
Martha has a professional, if icy presentation – Rayray is a screeching mess
Martha knows how to dress – Rayray wears the oddest collection of Mom’s jeans and ugle necklaces
Martha is concernd with quality – Rayray is concerned with fast and loud
Martha is generous with waitstaff – Raray regularly tips 5% or less on her $40.00 a day travel show
I like dogs better than turkeys, so I chose Ms. Ray
This one is tough…they both suck! But Martha, being the old dried up hag that she is, has been around longer, hence had more time for douchebaggery, than old fat ass has.
Tough call, and I can’t believe I voted AGAINST Martha (if you only knew how much I can’t stand her), I voted for Rachael, mainly because of that whole toxic dog biscuits thing. That, and she’s as dumb as a box of rocks.
Martha Stewart. Because you do not pick on my hero without some serious reprocusions from me!
Martha Stewart, because she is the devil. Or at least his personal assistant.
Martha……….you’d think she’d learn, but evidently not. She’s not as smart as she thinks she is.
Don’t care what anyone says, I like Rachel Ray. That, and Martha Stewart is the first Horseman of the Apocalypse. Stewart gets the vote.
Martha is faker
Boo! I missed most of the voting today. But I voted for the only one that counts so that’s the important thing. And it wasn’t even a write in like for president (me) this time.
Ray. Martha, your time is up, please get off the stage.
Rachel Ray.
Damn, I voted for Martha and then remembered those cringe-worthy cheesecake pics that RR did in some men’s mag. It was a like a shirtless, bra wearing June Cleaver was serving the creepiest after school snacks EVAH. Can I change my vote?
Martha. This took no thought. Sorry to see she’s losing. The only possible appeal to being stuck on an island with Martha is that she’s older, so she’d die sooner, and even that’s not worth it.
I vote for Rachael Ray! OMG she spit up her Dunkin Donuts coffee while filming it and demanded for Starbucks!? LMAO!!!!!!
Voted for Rachel Ray. I’m a dog lover.
I went with Martha, because ignorance and bad tasting coffee shouldn’t be faulted in a douche contest.
Martha. Rachael couldn’t out-douche her in her wildest dreams. btw if you Google “I hate Katy Perry” it returns a lot more hits than if you Google “I hate Rachael Ray”. just saying.
Rachel Ray… she’s evil.
rachel ray just because she’s annoying as shit!
Martha – She’s had a lot more time & exposure to be annoying!
Rachel Ray. Cos she doesn’t know her stuff and she’s so damn annoying. Plus she has some really funny “I hate Rachel Ray” websites.