DECEIVER MADNESS: The Grand Prize at Deceiver.com

The final Deceiver Madness matchup is upon us, sports fans. And that can only mean one thing for you voters: The Prize To End All Prizes.

We’ve put off telling you what the Grand Prize is up to now because — well, we didn’t know ourselves. You see, my co-bloggers and I wanted to customize the prize so it would be something guaranteed to piss off the celebrity who’s crowned Deceiver of the Year. Insult to injury, salt in the wounds, yadda-yadda-yadda.

And until a few hours ago, we weren’t sure who the last two contenders would be. But now it’s settled.

So here’s the deal. One lucky winner will take home a prize package tailored to push the buttons of either Al Gore or PETA. We won’t even know which prizes will be awarded until after the contest is over. Sorta like the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. God, I love that show …

Anyway, after the jump you’ll find the two “Showcase” collections. Only one will be awarded.

How do you win? Simple.

Leave a comment in the final-poll blog post telling us (a) who you voted for and why, and (b) your prediction for the final score of Monday night’s NCAA basketball championship game. Not the winner. Just the score.

Example:

I voted for Al Gore because any complete butt-head who spends his days and nights looking for ManBearPig probably can’t be honest about anything. The final score on Monday night will be 66 to 58.

The closest guess on the basketball score (only among those who said they voted for the eventual Deceiver Madness winner) will win the corresponding prize. And yes, that means that if you guessed the basketball score right on the nose but voted for the Deceiver Madness loser, you’re out of luck. (Life’s unfair sometimes. Just ask Rumer “Potatohead” Willis.) A coin-flip, or a series of coin-flips, will break any ties.

Entries are limited to one per person, and you must give us a working e-mail address with your comment in order to be eligible. No exceptions.

So, without further ado …

If PETA is crowned Deceiver of the Year, we will award the following prize package:

A $50 gift card to Omaha Steaks;
A $50 McDonald’s “Arch Card”;
A teddy bear made from genuine mink fur;
A baseball cap crafted from top-grain leather;
A one-year subscription to Field & Stream magazine (with complimentary fishing tackle bag); and
A “summer sausage and cheese gift box” from Hickory Farms.

peta-prize-package

If Al Gore wins Deceiver Madness, we will award this prize package instead:

A $100 gift certificate for Southwest Airlines, that notorious burner of jet fuel;
An 8-pack of 100-watt light bulbs — the horribly inefficient incandescent kind;
A lump of genuine anthracite coal, mined near Scranton, Pennsylvania;
A shirt from the T-Shirt Hell website that reads “Al Gore didn’t invent the Internet, but he did make up global warming”;
A copy of Michael Crichton’s 2004 techno-thriller novel State of Fear; and
A copy of the book The Deniers: The World Renowned Scientists Who Stood Up Against Global Warming Hysteria, Political Persecution, and Fraud — And those who are too fearful to do so.

gore-prize-package