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05
May
09

Miley Cyrus’s Advice On How To Keep A Man

Miley CyrusMiley Cyrus hasn’t been making as many big slutty headlines lately, so I guess she’s been taking Disney’s advice to cool it with the exhibitionist pics for a while.

But when Miley lays low, she really lays low. From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Billy Ray Cyris and wife Tish struggle to keep mega-star Miley Cyrus’ image squeaky-clean, but lately they’re getting a blistering earful from parents of Miley’s teen galpals, who charge that their brat’s telling their kids they should start cranking their love lives into high gear, bragging that at age 16, she is already romancing grown-up Justin Gaston, 20.

Worse, the parents complain, Miley’s flat-out advising the wide-eyed girls that they’d better find themselves a guy, or they’re gonna be left by the side of the road, and they’d better be ready when it’s time to go all the way, reveals a family friend. That sure ain’t music to the ears of parents of Miley’s girl posse, many of whom aren’t in show business.

Said the friend: “Billy Ray and Tish keep fielding calls from parents who ask: ‘Do you know what kind of stuff your daughter is feeding out girl?’ They’re worried because Miley’s pals admire her so much, they’ll take anything she says as gospel.”

(By the way, worth noting that the National Enquirer employed their “hillbilly style guide” in the editing of this article, what with the “gonnas” and “ain’ts”. Loves it.)

Then in the same week:

Despite her highly publicized romance with current boyfriend, underwear model Justin Gaston, Miley Cyrus has publicly declared that she wants to stay virgin until she gets married. “I want to keep my virginity until I marry,” she tells Daily Mail in an interview. “I was brought up in a Christian family.”

And how Christian it is.

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38 Responses to “Miley Cyrus’s Advice On How To Keep A Man”


  1. 1 Pastafarian May 5th, 2009 at 11:39 am

    !!!!!!!!!NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    16 year olds have sex!

    I just don’t have pictures to prove it. That anyone knows of.

  2. 2 Fortunate Son May 5th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    NYDailyNews says Elizabeth Edwards “has no idea” if the baby is John’s.

  3. 3 California Dave May 5th, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    They aren’t having sex – Miley is just soothing Justin’s achy-breaky heart.

    Yeah, that’s it.

  4. 4 Beige May 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Whoa. Girl got more gum than Trident.

  5. 5 Chronic Malanga May 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    One way or another, these alleged virgins find a way to make all the publicity they get involve sex.

  6. 6 Catharine May 5th, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    Yeah! It kinda reminds me of the Jonas Brothers episode of South Park.

  7. 7 Baba Yaga May 5th, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    So this little skank is pressuring her friends into sex and telling them they are “nothing” without a guy. Way to be an upright Christian girl, Miley!

    As for her alleged virginity, I would bet the bank it’s all “technical”, if true at all. Sorry Miley, an intact hymen does not make you a virgin no matter what else you do.

    As someone who has seen *real* Christians resist the sex-saturated culture and sincerely try to do the right thing, phonies like Miley Cyrus make me ill.

  8. 8 angry army wife May 5th, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    To quote another famous person “What is sex?” I am sure Miley is “Affectionate” with Justin and giving him what he needs. If they are going to have sex, then they will find a way. Same with her friends. If they listen to Miley, then they are just plain dumb.

  9. 9 Queen Bee May 5th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    I remember being ass high as a 16 year old with a few guys (not too many) so I don’t condemn Miley for giving in. However, maybe she should just keep her damn mouth shut. In fact, she should shut her mouth in general. As I have pointed out in past Miley posts, “Miley is a giant dumb ass.” Instead of running around saying she will stay a virgin until marriage, she could not comment on her sex life at all.
    I have to agree with AAW. If her girlfriends think they should have sex because Miley says so then they are even dumber than Miley. Which, I guess, stands to reason: Dumb attracts dumb.

  10. 10 MC Mom May 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I’m with AAW – Miley’s friends need to grow their own brains and moral compasses. If Hannah Montana told them to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would they do it?

    That said, Little Miss Miley is getting big for her britches, playing sex advisor to her pals and threatening to “ruin” everyone who says something negative about her (or won’t hang with her at the Grammys). Are her 15 minutes up yet?

    And by the way, a 16-year-old dating a 20-year-old? Not cool. Skeevy.

  11. 11 Chronic Malanga May 5th, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    Exactly Queen Bee! A lot of us weren’t angels. I had a boyfriend all through high school and we weren’t playing Parchessi, but I also didn’t pretend that I was some virginal little girl saving herself for marriage. If you don’t want to be talked about, don’t talk about yourself. And never go around announcing the state of your hymen. It’s just tacky.

  12. 12 Aleric May 5th, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Ahh Virgins, I have been with a couple of them, and most rationalized that as long as they didn’t have normal intercourse that everything else was ok.

  13. 13 angry army wife May 5th, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    While I was a virgin all through high school, I admit my Eagle Scout boyfriend (gotta watch out for those horndogs) and I played “Ping pong” a lot in the basement. Nothing is better than some great making out sessions. However, to brag to your friends and for her friends to actually listen to what she has to say is beyond dumb. I remember our good friend in high school pressuring us to have sex and we declined. Just cause it is good for one person does not make it any better for the next. Try engaging a brain, it just might help.

  14. 14 Fortunate Son May 5th, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    She’s still a minor, can’t even sign a contract with an adult, why should she be responsible for other children?

    And isn’t that 20 year old engaging in the same illegal activity Jamie Foxx said he wanted to engage in last week?

  15. 15 Koka May 5th, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    She may “want to”…………but I also want to be Queen of the World.

    That little membrane is loooooooooooooong gone, people.

  16. 16 Chronic Malanga May 5th, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    Good point, F.S. Sure, Miley is acting like a complete idiot, because…well, she is, but I don’t hold her responsible for the actions of other children. I don’t care who she is to them, people make their own decisions, stupid or not.

    Why should the world even care if she is a virgin anyway? Her making a big deal out of it is what causes half of her problems with the tabloids because they are now on “Hymen Watch” thanks to her loud declarations of purity. Now that these little hypocrisies are leaking out to the world, that bit of famewhoring doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore, does it?

  17. 17 Nati May 5th, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    lmao@”Hymen Watch”…ugh This whole situation makes me sick. Could Miley be any more tacky? Discussing your sex-life in the tabloids is just gross. And isn’t it illegal for a 20-yr old to be dating a 16-yr old?

  18. 18 Hmmm... May 5th, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Nati,

    If I recall, it’s only illegal for a 20 year old to be engaging in sexual activity with a 16 year old, but not necessarily just dating. But I suppose for better or for worse, nowadays people do, and perhaps rightly so, assume that dating does mean sexual activity is involved. Although even then I think it sometimes has to do with the state since some have lower ages of consent than 18 or sometimes lowered, but with restrictions such as not past a certain age difference until 18.

  19. 19 Kristine May 5th, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Well, I will at least agree that one way or the other, quit blabbing about your sex life to the tabloids or anyone in the press for that matter since we know she did that. I understand the National Enquierer has raised its credibility with the whole Edwards thing, but I’m still skeptical…

  20. 20 Rocko May 5th, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    High school girls are easy?
    Damn! I wish someone had told me
    But would I be
    Deep to the knee
    With STDs?
    Oh wait-
    I could just take virginities.

    Poppin’ dem cherries, holla if you hear me!

  21. 21 Tal May 5th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    “If I recall, it’s only illegal for a 20 year old to be engaging in sexual activity with a 16 year old, but not necessarily just dating.”

    Ages of consent depend on where you are. In California it’s 18, but America it varies by state. But, yeah, it’s not illegal for anybody to just date anybody. Theoretically, Miley Cyrus could date an 80-year-old man and it would be legal as long as there was no sexaul activity.

  22. 22 Nati May 5th, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    “Theoretically, Miley Cyrus could date an 80-year-old man and it would be legal as long as there was no sexaul activity.”

    Then she’s perfect for Hugh Hefner

  23. 23 Nati May 5th, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    oh, and thanks, Hmmm…, for answering my question.

  24. 24 JC May 6th, 2009 at 7:25 am

    Britney Spears part two. I guess this makes that Jonas twat Justin Timberlake.

  25. 25 Disco Stu May 6th, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    She’s legal in Sweden!

  26. 26 lingli May 6th, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Something tells me that the Cyruses (Cyri?) hail from the “any publicity is good publicity” school of famewhoring. Remember the huge hoo-hah about the Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair photos last year? Sex sells … and bizarrely, so does no-sex. The tween stars all walk this peculiar line, particularly those on Disney shows: they’ve made their names in wholesome, family entertainment, and yet they’re in an industry where bodies and what you do with your body are the currency. One way to cope with it is the “Britney defence”, ie loudly protesting your purity and plans to stay that way – and therefore using your lack of sex to help sell your career. And all of which, of course, only makes the tabloids more determined to catch you in a lie.

    Miley is certainly helping herself in this regard by dating a twenty-year-old. Is she telling her girlfriends they should be having sex? Well, maybe. Is she making them envious with tales about her grown-up, Hollywood lifestyle? Let me think about that… Is she a dumbass? No doubt, but most sixteen-year-olds are. God knows I was. Is her dad a dumbass? Yeah. Does he have his daughter’s excuse? No.

    However, the other catch in the whole situation is that, also like most sixteen-year-olds, she’s probably desperate to act older than she is; she’s in an environment where she’s constantly surrounded by older people; and she’s a star who no doubt gets pretty much what she wants. It’ll come back to bite her on the ass later, no doubt, but in the meantime she – and her daddy – knows that, as Oscar Wilde said, the only thing worse than being talked about … is not being talked about.

  27. 27 miley Jun 16th, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    miley i love zac efron com douing sex

  28. 28 justice Jun 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    kall me miley 7677129

  29. 29 justice Jun 19th, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    i like you miley

  30. 30 justice Jun 19th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    write me back

  31. 31 angry army wife Jun 19th, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    What the frig? What are you 13 years old?

  32. 32 from vanessa hudgens Jul 1st, 2009 at 9:26 am

    you suck and i hate you so much and dont talk to me or my other friends.
    and also put some pictures on your mspace or what ever it is. LOVE,
    VANESSA
    HUDGENS

  33. 33 coroline Sep 7th, 2009 at 11:42 pm

    j’adooorrrr mileyyy cyruus chui fzan ma chambrre ya quue mileyy cyyrus ya pas quelque chooze d’aurre jai 13 ans et xseraiiiiiii tjr fan jusquala mort

  34. 34 gonna Oct 2nd, 2009 at 9:21 am

    i love you miley cyrus you are the best i loveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuu

  35. 35 jalyn lopez Oct 7th, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY IDLEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU RULE MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEASE OUT! DON’T FORGEAT I’M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN AND ONE DAY I HOPE TO BE YOUR FREIND!!!!!!!!!!

  36. 36 drew Oct 30th, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    hey miley iam ur number 1 fan ur pretty pce out love u

  37. 37 drew Oct 30th, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    hey stop calling miley skanks on her own website

  38. 38 Beige Oct 31st, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    The evidence for the abject failure of the public education system in America continues to stack up, folks. It’s not just illiteracy anymore; now we’ve got full-blown stupidity, stomping around like it owns the place.

Opinions expressed in these comments are those of the commenters, and probably don't represent the views of your humble Deceiver bloggers. If your comment doesn't appear right away, please be patient. We "moderate" comments to sift out spam, obscenities, and harassment.

All (civil) opinions are welcome. And if you can't be civil, at least be entertaining!




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