20
May
09

Jessica Biel Is Too Beautiful to Work in Hollywood

jessica_biel_too_beautifulJessica Biel has joined fellow whiny bishes Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox in bagging on Scarlett Johansson for sucking up all the best roles in showbiz. Alternatively, she’s just too pretty to work in this town:

Although Jessica Biel is probably most well known for her beautiful bod and being Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend, there is much more to the 27-year-old actress than meets the eye. That’s why Biel is so frustrated when she misses out on plum roles that go to Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman because directors find her look to be too modern.

“I just want an opportunity,” she states in Allure’s June issue. “If you don’t like the audition, then don’t hire me! But if you don’t want to even see me — that’s hurtful.” Find out what else Jessica has to say about her looks, marriage, and living life under a microscope.

Is being too good-looking really a problem for an actress?

“Yeah, it really is a problem. I have to be blunt.”

Oh, the humanity. Being beautiful is such a drawback in Hollywood.

Fact check: She is a working actress, which is more than you can say for most of the thousands of waitresses and personal trainers within a 2-mile radius of my house. She has starring roles in a boring but long-running WB show, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry under her belt.

So let us apply Occam’s Razor here: Maybe she’s just a bad actress, and that’s why she doesn’t get auditions.

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57 Responses to “Jessica Biel Is Too Beautiful to Work in Hollywood”


  1. 1 Koka May 20th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    Okay, let’s all beat her with the ugly stick so she’ll REALLY have something to whine about.

  2. 2 Jenn May 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    So she’s just too hot for Hollywood hmmm? It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact she can’t act? How does she explain beautiful women who happen the also be good actors? Ava Gardner,Elizabeth Taylor and Vivien Leigh come to mind.

  3. 3 Anonymous May 20th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    She doesn’t get work because she’s completely vapid.
    I’ve seen slugs with a more lively personality.

  4. 4 This Guy May 20th, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    She’s absolutely right, though. The studio system makes exactly 100% of quality films, and not a single independent company has an interesting role to offer in the hopes of riding the wave of publicity she’d attract.

    She wants credibility, all right; she just doesn’t want the smaller paycheck that comes with it.

  5. 5 TheIrish May 20th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    If she hates her look so much, she probably shouldn’t have had all the surgery that EVERY Hollywood actress has.

  6. 6 Swede0319 May 20th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    The picture that Holly used, makes her look like Ed the talking horse.
    Can somebody give me a Wiiillllbeeerr?

  7. 7 stonegrigio May 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    Swede: LOL. It is an awful picture.

    As w/ G Paltrow & K Dunst, I never could see the beauty in these women. Maybe I need to update my contacts.

  8. 8 Swede0319 May 20th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    stone, IMHO GOOP is a skank of epic porportions inside and out. KD is another story for me though. I’m seriously in LUST with her.

  9. 9 angry army wife May 20th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    I agree with the fact that GOOP, Dunst, Scarlett and others are not that pretty and have gotten movie roles, which outside of Dunst, kindof tanked. So she is whining about being too pretty and not been given a shot at roles? Cry me a river. Walk down to my unemployment office and whine to all the GM and DHL workers about how tough you have it.

  10. 10 Julie May 20th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Ummm, Anne Hathaway is quite beautiful & she gets the great roles because she can act! There are tons of pretty women in Hollywood that could easily blame their lack of careers on being “too pretty” when the reality is, we want TALENTED actresses in our movies, not just a bunch of pretty faces. Pretty is a dime a dozen — especially in Hollywood. It might get you in the door but you have to PERFORM in order to be taken seriously. Get a grip girl. First, you are not that pretty. Second, you can’t act. Third, you have a much too high of an opinion of yourself which leads to, lastly, the fact that your ego & attitude are very easy to see in your face at all times. You are not even a good enough actress to cover up your very visible personality flaws and pretend to be humble so you can at least get a paycheck once and a while.

  11. 11 Rocko May 20th, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Look too modern? What does that mean?

  12. 12 Meg 2.0 May 20th, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    Jenn, I absolutely agree with you about the actresses you mentioned.

    Comparing Biel to Vivien Leigh (I love her) who said as well her beauty could prevent her from being taken seriously…

    Jessica – Erin, Tenley Parrish, Lt. Kara Wade, Alex McDonough and Jessica Rabbit from SNL.
    Vivien – Scarlett O’Hara, Blanche Dubois, Anna Karenina, Lady Hamilton and pretty much every main female Shakespearen role.

    Kind of speaks for itself. It’s not really about beauty but your acting. Plain and simple.

  13. 13 Rocko May 20th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    If you want to understand what poor Miss Biel is going through watch this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/2997/the-art-of-seduction-not-pretty-really

  14. 14 Beige May 20th, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    I’m trying, really I am, but I can’t seem to gin up any sparkling blue tears of woe over here.

    I’d say “Suck it, Biel”, but that’s no doubt how she gets roles anyway.

  15. 15 stonegrigio May 20th, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    I’m a little slow here, but is she implying that ScarJo & Natalie Portman are not as attractive (or modern?) as she is? On what planet? And by “modern,” does she mean trashy?

  16. 16 Tal May 20th, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    “Look too modern? What does that mean?”

    I’m not sure, but there’s something about her face that makes her look out-of-place in any period costume.

  17. 17 Aleric May 20th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Hmm, ok, I think Jessica needs to start hanging out with normal people again and not with Timberlakes entourage of flunkies and yes men.

  18. 18 Koka May 20th, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Maybe she should consider doing some volunteer work in a hospital’s burn ward, or go to India where they have babies born every day with cleft palates. That just *might* put her perspective back in the right place.

  19. 19 Biel Is A Boner May 20th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Jessica is stupid and blaming others for her failures.

    Years ago when she was on “7th Heaven” she was bitching to Aaron Spelling to get out of her contract saying the role she had was too “wholesome” and made her miss out on other opportunities.

    Now that she’s gotten sluttier, she’s bitching because other women have more “wholeseome” or classic looks.

    Whatev!

    She’s got nothing on the beautiful Natalie Portman!

  20. 20 katie May 20th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    sorry, i think she looks like a man and i don’t care if she looked just like (thinking of a pretty actress here) kate winslet, that is a stupid thing to say.

  21. 21 Nati May 20th, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Swede, I’ll fight you for Kirsten till the last drop of blood.

    As for Jessica Horseface…I mean, Biel, I think what really prevents her from getting auditions, it’s her utter inability to act. But her looks could have something to do with it as well, she could be onto something here, except she got one thing wrong – the real problem with her looks is not that they are “too good”…it’s the exact opposite of that, actually…

  22. 22 Guy Arthur Thomas May 20th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Horseface AND SLOPEFACE…she is both. If she is beautiful then Betty just got a lot less uglier!

    Next Please!

  23. 23 Anna May 21st, 2009 at 2:19 am

    I think what she meant to say is that people value her only as eye candy and not as a serious actress. I have a friend who was born with a DDD chest who says no one takes her seriously, and I can empathize because she didn’t ask for it. But if Ms. Biel wants to be seen as a “serious” actress (whatever that means anymore) she needs to re-tool her public image. She can start by insisting on being photographed in actual clothes and not just her swimsuit or her underwear. She’s gorgeous and she’s got some decent money, so she should be able to request at least that much. She should also tell her publicist to get on the horn and pimp her out to studios and directors for meaty roles instead of taking on idiotic horror remakes or gross-out Adam Sandler vehicles. Scarlett Johansson started out in Eight-Legged Freaks, but she made it known that she wanted to branch out, and she went out and did it instead of bitching about it.

  24. 24 Hurricane May 21st, 2009 at 9:44 am

    With an ass like hers she can complain all she wants.

  25. 25 MC Mom May 21st, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Whatever you think of her looks, it’s hard to take her seriously as an actress after seeing the umpteenth spread of her in a teeny bikini/lingerie/sitting in a bathroom sink.

    I’ll add my picks to the list of beautiful women who actually can act: Cate Blanchett, Juliette Binoche, Kate Winslet…

  26. 26 wishtoremainanonymous May 21st, 2009 at 11:45 am

    She kinda looks like Michael Jackson in that picture.

  27. 27 angry army wife May 21st, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Kate Winslet, definintly! I loved Annette Benning, especially in “An American President”. I think that Anne Hathaway is pretty as well.

  28. 28 Pastafarian May 21st, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Sing it sister. It’s like she’s writing my life story.

  29. 29 Jannah May 21st, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Well put Koka.

  30. 30 MC Mom May 21st, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    She looks like MJ, wishtoremain, because she has that sharp/shaved look around the nose that’s a dead giveaway for major rhinoplasty.

    All this plastic surgery makes me nervous, because it changes our expectations on how body parts ought to look. People complain that real breasts look saggy, and that Robert Pattinson’s nose is ‘huge.’ Is everyone in the public eye now supposed to look fake in order to be acclaimed as attractive?

    [I'll get off my soapbox now...]

  31. 31 Swede0319 May 21st, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Nati, that sounds like a challenge to a duel! As the aggreved party, I chose the weapons.
    Wet cats at 10 paces. You choose the time and place of the meeting.

  32. 32 Pastafarian May 21st, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    I guess I’m all alone when I say… Man she’s hot!

  33. 33 Beige May 21st, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    OOOHHHH, a fight to the death! Heh. ;)

  34. 34 Nati May 21st, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Swede, I’ll meet you at the graveyard when the clock strikes midnight. Beige will be my second. Now you choose yours.

  35. 35 MC Mom May 21st, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    The Fug Girls have an amusing column about Biel’s whining in New York magazine today:

    http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/05/fugs_celebrity_perspective.html

    “We’re sure Biel truly does see her beauty as a terrible curse, and Alba gets sick of being ogled, and they believe sharing this with the world illustrates that they’re relatable girls with actual problems. But, newsflash: Acne is a relatable problem. A bad sense of direction is a relatable problem. And yes, not being taken seriously because you’re beautiful can be a problem … if you are, say, a Supreme Court justice or a Navy SEAL, rather than someone working in an industry that regularly rewards superior genetics.”

  36. 36 MC Mom May 21st, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    And Pasta, where is Jrod when we need him? Or will you take one for the team here?

  37. 37 Swede0319 May 21st, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Dang! I wanted Beige! Pasta, will be my second?

  38. 38 Swede0319 May 21st, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Beige, what’s with the death thing? I just wanted an excuse to throw a wet cat at somebody, then retire to the lounge chair and drink mass quantities of adult beverages and talk smack.
    Death or serious injury? No Way Jose!

  39. 39 Nati May 21st, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    “Death or serious injury? No Way Jose!”

    lol, don’t worry, Swede…I’ll be gentle.

  40. 40 Swede0319 May 21st, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    Thanks Nati. For the after-brawl refreshments, do you prefer red or white wine or something stronger?

  41. 41 Nati May 22nd, 2009 at 4:14 am

    Swede, I think I’ll have myself a beer…and I’m chasing it with vodka, kinda the way they do in Russia, except in reverse…they chase vodka with beer.

  42. 42 Beige May 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 am

    Hee. I was referring to some low-wattage poster awhile back, who threw out the phrase “I can see that nothing short of a fight to the death will settle this” or something. Because, you know, that happens on THE INTERNET.

  43. 43 Nati May 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 am

    lol, Beige, you mean you couldn’t tell that “the e-fight to the death” thing was supposed to be a joke? Swede understood. And “low-wattage”? lol Damn, what did I do to deserve such scorn?

  44. 44 Chronic Malanga May 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 am

    I haven’t read all the comments yet, though HEY EVERYONE :) I read this f*ckery the other day and was laughing so hard.

    First off, Jessica has a nice body, sure, but in terms of overall hotness, there are actresses in Hollywood who get work and respect and are way hotter than Jessica could ever hope to be. Her face reminds me of silly putty that’s been in the sun too long, and I don’t feel she is more than moderately attractive.

    Secondly, from what I have seen, she can’t act her way out of a paper bag. Maybe, just maybe, she might consider acting classes rather than lamenting that she’s too hot for an industry that is known for only hiring the hot.

    Finally, people that have the cojones to say something so utterly out of touch and arrogant in public really just lose respect points with me.

  45. 45 David Chutlashvili Jun 24th, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Jessica Biel ist… Und die meisten bekannten Schauspielerinnen sind auch gar nicht besser, als sie.

    Sie zieht sich immer noch selten komplett aus, und mir kommt es so vor, dass sie noch leider nicht ganz frei ist. Aber es ist ausgezeichnet und menschlich, keine Scham zu haben! Liebt sie alle, die gut und attraktiv für sie sind? Wenn es nicht so ist, warum sind alle, die gut sind, unattraktiv z. B. für sie? Das alles verstehe ich nicht.

  46. 46 Beige Jun 24th, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    “Jessica Biel is… And most well-known actresses are not better also at all, than them. It undresses still rarely completely, and it seems to me in such a way that it is still unfortunately not completely free. But it is excellent and human to have no shame! Does she love all, which are good and attractive for them? If it like that is not, why all, which are good, are unattractively e.g. for it? I do not understand all this.”

    I love Babelfish. “It undresses still rarely completely” is right up there with “It puts the lotion in the basket.”

  47. 47 Walt Oct 27th, 2009 at 8:13 am

    Just tried to watch Powder Blue. I can’t say that Jessica Biel is the worst actress ever as I haven’t seen all the actresses out there. I can say she is ‘one’ of the worst actresses.

  48. 48 sam bardo Oct 29th, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    I am a 50 year old white male.I think Jessica is a wonderful actress.Her beauyt is second to none.If I were only 10 years younger,I hope she finds true love in her life.
    Sam

  49. 49 Shawnie Feb 14th, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    I agree that Biel is beautiful but I highly doubt that she doesn’t get hired and given a chance because of that. Directors have obviously seen her past work and feel that she doesn’t fit their expectations. I think that she expects a handout just because she’s beautiful but it doesn’t work that way.

  50. 50 Ken Feb 14th, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    To me Jessica Biel is a beautiful actress who..from all the comments I’ve read, has been dumped on by people who are jealous of her looks. I’ve watched her from Seventh Heaven to many of the movies she’s made during her career. She does have talent which is more than I can say for some of the other “babes” on the screen today. I only hope that someday she will get the credit she deserves..Yes she’s sexy but so are a lot of others in Hollywood. I wish her well in the future.

  51. 51 superbacnetreatment Feb 15th, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    if i were her i won’t pay any attention on this issue at all….still have a lot of things for her to do….and i believe i her….:)

  52. 52 Beige Feb 15th, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    See, that was ostensibly in English, and it STILL needed some Babelfishing.

  53. 53 Shemp Mar 24th, 2010 at 4:09 am

    I SAY a hearty “hear, here!” to the entries by MC Mom and This Guy! Jessica say, she’s tired of being in H’wood crap movies? Guess what, that’s what Hollywood DOES — get into some (interesting) indie movies and do some REAL ACTING and THEN maybe you’ll be “taken seriously” as an actress!!! And b*tching about how winning the genetic lottery is making yr life SOOOO darn difficult…hey, there’s always waitressing, stripping, becoming a schoolteacher, and plenty of “normal” 9-to-5 gigs out there in THE REAL WORLD.

  54. 54 Shannon Jul 1st, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    The men think she’s a good actress because of her looks. If everyone were forced to watch icons like Audrey Hepburn (one of the most beautiful women who ever lived) they would see that Ms. Biel thinks that reading lines from a script is acting. And yes, she looks like a horse. MJ’s nosejob was better!

  55. 55 Cathy Jul 24th, 2010 at 12:55 am

    http://www.forbezdvd.com/cod.php?v=Mjk0MA

    This is the nude scene from powder blue. I’m sure she could make millions in the porn business, but the second she starts crying this vid turns to shit. Not an OUNCE of talent here, folks.

  56. 56 Zach Aug 22nd, 2010 at 3:09 am

    She is a total hypocrite. Her entire romance life has been filled with dumb pretty boys so she is clearly totally superficial when it comes to looks so she shouldn’t complain. Just once it would be nice to see one of these starlets with a NORMAL average looking but nice boyfriend who is not an older rich scumbag producer/director (who SO MANY Hollywood starlets now seem to marry!), or an actor or wannabe actor, or star athlete, or music star, etc.

  1. 1 Sure, Jessica Biel Is Real. Real Annoying. at Deceiver.com Pingback on Jan 26th, 2010 at 3:51 pm

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