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03
Jun
09

Mel Gibson Threatens Churchgoers With Eternal Damnation

mel_gibson_oksana2Mel Gibson, who is in the process of divorcing his faithful wife of 28 years, has ordered parishioners at the church he attends to stop gossiping about him or else they will suffer hellfire and eternal damnation.

In response, one expert in traditionalist Catholicism talked to People magazine about the religious pickle Mel is in now that he’s confirmed reports that his mistress Oksana Grigorieva is carrying his illegitimate baby.

Can Gibson take Communion?
A traditionalist Catholic who is married to one woman but is conducting a romance with another is considered an adulterer, and in violation of one of the Ten Commandments. Until he turns away from that violation by ending the offending activity, and confessing his sin, he would remain ineligible for Communion.

“It would be heartbreaking for Gibson,” says a traditionalist Catholic priest who has celebrated Mass at Gibson’s chapel but prefers not to be named. “We have sympathy for a person in that situation.”

Can Gibson annul his marriage?
The Catholic Church grants many annulments. Previously, an annulment was allowed when a marriage was not consummated, when it was forced on one of the parties or when the vows were judged illegitimate for reasons such as mental illness. Today, church tribunals are more lenient and help find ways to keep divorced Catholics hoping to remarry in the fold. But Gibson, who was married in the mainstream Catholic church, has another problem to contend with. He would have to apply to an authority, the Vatican, that doesn’t recognize his own congregation. That would make for an awkward request, experts say, but the official church might still decide to consider it.

Sunday’s homily should be about the parable of the famous movie star who doesn’t understand why he can’t just have everything he wants.

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35 Responses to “Mel Gibson Threatens Churchgoers With Eternal Damnation”


  1. 1 Fortunate_Son Jun 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Can Gibson get an annulment?

    Of course, two Kennedys have had annulments granted after decades of marriage.

    http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1634956,00.html

  2. 2 Fortunate_Son Jun 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    John Kerry received an annulment after 18 years of marriage.

  3. 3 Baba Yaga Jun 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Hey Mel, you need to get that giant log out of your eye before telling your fellow churchgoers about the sawdust in theirs.

  4. 4 Koka Jun 3rd, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh man this is so funny………like the skunk telling the buzzard that he stinks.

    They can get a dissolution…..no matter what legal venue they choose to divorce, Mrs. Mel will get half of EVERYthing he owns.

    That was one VERY expensive piece of you-know-what, I hope the girlfriend was worth it.

  5. 5 LN Jun 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Besides being an adulterer, he also coveted. It’s more than one commandment that he broke. I would like to know how he could get passed this mess. But on the up swing, this does give Seth McFarlin more fodder for another Mel Gibson eposiode.

  6. 6 Pastafarian Jun 3rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    All that stuff he did. Sounds like he could be a priest, or maybe even Pope.

  7. 7 LN Jun 3rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    Pasta, you need to be a pedophile to be in such a profession. To be Pope you must know a lot of pedophiles but pretend they are completely normal.

  8. 8 angry army wife Jun 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    I am sure there is some way for him to get an annulment. Regardless, as a Catholic I am appalled that he is living in sin while still being legally married. Oh well, the world is going to hell in a handbasket anyways. I have bigger fights to join.

  9. 9 Beige Jun 3rd, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Uch. I’ve got nothing but loathing and disgust for him, and that makes me sad. As far as I’m concerned, he’s already won Deceiver of the Year for 2010.

  10. 10 Jannah Jun 3rd, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Ditto BabaYaga and Beige. Wow, I can hardly find the words to express my disappointment in someone who has so vocally claimed themself Christian, and then acted so unlike what one is supposed to act like. :-p I really think that the guy needs some physchological assistence.

    I’m not Catholic so I don’t know this, but doesn’t nulling a marriage make the children illegitimate on paper? Wasn’t that an issue in one of the recent Kenndy annulments?

  11. 11 Jannah Jun 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Sorry about the typos, yuk. :-(

  12. 12 Hurricane Jun 3rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    LN- don’t forget, if Pedo-Pasta doesn’t get to be Pope there is always being a public school teacher.

  13. 13 Marilyn Jun 3rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Mel will get his annulment as my neighbor is Catholic and she divorced her first husband 12 years ago because her husband was cheating on her. She said forget the Catholic annulment because it was basically “paying” the powers that be in the Catholic church and they will annul the marriage. When she remarried, she did not remarry in the Catholic church but she takes communion and had her two children born with the second husband baptize in the Catholic church.

  14. 14 Pastafarian Jun 3rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    I’d like to be Pope. Of chili town.

  15. 15 Beige Jun 3rd, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    HAAAAAAA!!! :)

    Pasta, I think you’re running unopposed on that one. Pope Pastafarian I, Spiritual Leader of Chilitown.

    You realize this turns farting into a sacrament, right?

  16. 16 Anni Jun 3rd, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    I’m sure he used the “condoms are a sin” thing just to get out of wearing them, too.

  17. 17 TrojanPrincess Jun 3rd, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    I have a special level of anger reserved just for cheaters; and Mel not only triggered that, but also my frustration with people who so vocally profess their faith while publicly flaunting their sins. It’s people like him who damage the image of good Christians and Catholics so badly.

  18. 18 Ani Jun 3rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Jannah, if the children were conceived in good faith when the couple believed the marriage was valid, then no, the children are not illegitimate.

    Mel’s just… ick. No need to add to what everyone else has said.

  19. 19 angry army wife Jun 3rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Beige, are you sure that Mel could be Barack Hussein Obama? Might be a close race.

  20. 20 Darla Jun 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    What an ass.

  21. 21 flirt Jun 3rd, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    I think he’s a strong contender for Hypocrite of the Year.
    Anyone who can make a Jesus snuff film to show everyone what a great Catholic he is while committing adultery gets my vote!

  22. 22 Shikatehead Jun 3rd, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Ditto TrojanPrincess. I, too, have this special anger, but more importantly, I just want Mel to make more snuff movies. Those were hilarious!

  23. 23 katie Jun 4th, 2009 at 3:35 am

    anni – you know i was thinking about that! i went to catholic school from grades k-8 and now i’m 20. i don’t agree with all of the catholic “rules” but mel gibson was a devout catholic at one time or another right? didn’t jenna jameson say she was a devout catholic too? LOL. ok i rest my case. nothing else needs to be said..

  24. 24 katie Jun 4th, 2009 at 3:36 am

    and i also didn’t think john edwards could be beat for deceiver of the year. well…..

  25. 25 Beige Jun 4th, 2009 at 8:20 am

    You know, I actually thought a great deal of “The Passion of the Christ”. It was profoundly moving and heartbreaking. I greatly respected the dedication and hard work that went into making it.

    And then Gibson goes and just craps the bed, not once but for years on end.

  26. 26 annie Jun 4th, 2009 at 8:49 am

    It does’nt matter how many years you,ve been married, what matters it what happened at the time you entered the sacrament of marriage. Coersion(sp?) is one reason for annulment, and that could be a shotgun wedding, which mel and robyn had, and no, annulments don’t make children illigetimate. If you are Catholic and get divorced, but no annulment you can’t get remarried in the Catholic Church and you can’t recieve Communion.

  27. 27 D---- Jun 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am

    angry army wife – what is it with Catholics, hell and handbaskets? Are handbaskets required in hell? What about the connection between handbaskets and the Easter Bunny? And what about those eggs he hides? ….?

  28. 28 Pearce Jun 4th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Katie, I went to a Jesuit university (and am not Catholic)…I think a lot of people are “culturally” Catholic. The way some say they’re culturally Jewish but don’t follow the religion. At least, that’s what I’ve seen. I’m not sure that I’ve actually met a Catholic who tries to follow everything to the letter, priests and nuns aside.

  29. 29 Jannah Jun 4th, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Thanks Ani! I guess that it was just the Lame Stream Media assuming that the Kennedy kids would be illegitimate on paper if there was an annulment. That’s what I get for believing the “journalists”.

    :-p

  30. 30 Minnow Jun 5th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    It’s not just you, Jannah.

    I don’t place blame with the media though, because I faintly recall Kerry Kennedy addressing the subject in one of her “modern Catholicism” speeches.

  31. 31 Happy Camper Jun 5th, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Mel needs a psychiatrist. Soon. I read he wants a DNA test. I guess everyone is mad at everyone now. Wife wins. She gets a lot of money and gets rid of him.

  32. 32 Tal Jun 7th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    “I’m not sure that I’ve actually met a Catholic who tries to follow everything to the letter, priests and nuns aside.”

    I could introduce you to some…

    Mel Gibson’s wife has a better shot at getting an anullment than he does; I know she’s not Catholic, but even if you’re not Catholic you can have the Catholic Church anull your marriage if you were married to a Catholic or want to marry a Catholic. (My uncle by marriage got divorced, met my aunt, decided to marry her, and got his first marriage anulled, even though he’s a Lutheran.)

    Church Authority: So, Mrs. Gibson, please tell me why you want an anullment.
    Mrs. Gibson: My husband rejected the authority of the Pope, claimed I couldn’t go to heaven because I wasn’t Catholic, and impregnated another woman. Oh, plus he drove drunk and went on a rant against the Jews, and –
    Church Authority: Save your breath, ma’am, you had me at “the Pope.”

  33. 33 Jannah Jun 7th, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    LOL Tal. X-D

    Interesting info about KerryK Minnow. I can’t blame her I guess.

  34. 34 Jannah Jun 7th, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    I mean, I can sympathize with her trying that tack on blocking the annulment.

  1. 1 Mel Gibson Demands Paternity Test on Mistress’s Child | Deceiver.com Pingback on Jun 9th, 2009 at 2:44 pm

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