Jessica Alba recently joined a friend posting pictures of Great White Sharks all over public places and billboards in Oklahoma City. What a nice public service.
According to the poster creator, White Mike and his blog postings:
This blog is a guerrilla movement meant to spark the curiosity and collective humanistic action with regards to saving the dire state of Great White Sharks and their near extinction in our planet.
1. I’m not really sure that Great White Sharks are IN our planet, but merely on it.
2. I have no idea how Jessica Alba got involved in all this.
But, remember that horrible movie Into the Blue (not Blue Crush -- the only slightly less ridiculous movie that’s always on TV)? Apparently during the filming Ms. Alba had a little altercation with an ocean creature.
She came face to face with a bloodthirsty shark. The 24-year-old actress was swimming on location in the Bahamas when she found herself surrounded by blacktip reef sharks.
But she knew how to handle the killers and ensure her escape. She recalls, “I jabbed him on the nose and he swam off!”
I’m sure that shark just felt that his privacy was being invaded by Ms. Alba, probably similar to the people of Oklahoma City feeling invaded by the awesome shark posters. I also doubt White Mike likes his beloved sharks being punched in the face.
And thanks to Ms. Alba, somewhere in the abyss is a shark with a band-aid on its nose out for revenge! Duh duh. Duh duh. (Jaws theme song for those of you having trouble with my transcribing.)
Hat tip to Deceiver reader Mrs. K.
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Although I don’t think much of Ms. Alba’s acting, the response she gave to the shark that was getting a little to curious is same one I was taught way back in the 20th century when I started diving.
White Mike lost me at “This blog is a guerrilla movement…” When I think guerrillas, blogs about sharks don’t always come to mind, you know…I mean, I’ve heard an expression “guerrilla marketing” before, may be that’s what he means…And Oklahoma City? I didn’t know Oklahoma City was a great white shark’s habitat…It’s always nice to learn something new.
I love reading about clueless bloggers yammering about things of which they know nothing about.
Awww, Britney… you missed the best part!
Apparently she defaced a United Way billboard with one of her guerrilla sharks.
And it ain’t comin’ off.
And now the charity has to replace the whole damn thing.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/09/jessica-alba-shark-attack-great-white-cops-investigate-investigation-oklahoma-city/
And now she apologizes:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=413572>1=28102
Non-story
Dude, the Mythbusters really abused some sharks then…
I don’t know, Nati.
That apology has a few too many three syllable words in it to credit Jessica with the thinkin’ up.
There’s a West Side Story joke in here somewhere, but danged if I can find it.
“Yeaaaaah! Cuz wahles r kewwwwwl!!!!1!!!!!111!!1one!!!11!!one!!11!! O i mean shurks!!!11! Oooo teh poor shurks!!!!1!! It effcts uss aaallllllll!!!11!!”
That’s the mentality I see from Ms. Alba.
I’m confused. Are we supposed to “save the dire state” of sharks, which presumably would mean making sure they’re frequently punched by talent-free celebrities, or save the sharks? Because it’s not the same thing.
Could I just donate a grammar textbook to this wanker, and we’ll call it even?
Can someone tell Ms. Alba that Oklahoma City is no where near the ocean so why do this there? Way to use your brain there, missy
Why didn’t the sharks simply attack Jessica’s bikini and make off with it while all the camera’s were rolling, that would have been something to put on a bill board.
“Jessica Alba Punches Sharks”
Makes me laugh every time I read it.
This should answer the whole “why Oklahoma City” question.
“Some have asked why these images of the Great White Shark were posted in Oklahoma, a place far away from the slaughtering waters off Ecuador’s Galapagos or the booming shark fin markets of Hong Kong,” the organizers of White Mike posted in their blog Wednesday.
“The reason is that illegal shark fin hunting affects the people of Oklahoma. It affects us all.”
Lol, man that was dumb.
Remember when people “outside the internet” cared about Jessica Alba?
Yeah me either.
To be fair, defending oneself from blood-thirsty, savage sharks and campaigning to save an entirely different species of cute ickle fishy wishies is a whole different kettle of fish. And she technically only punched the one.
And I still giggle at the headline, too.
I’d hit it!