You think Jennifer Love Hewitt writing the book on relationships was bad? Alec Baldwin just topped that: He’s authoring a parenting guide.
He tells Playboy magazine, “It will be ironic for some people, but I’m going to write a parenting book. We’re at… an awful place right now in terms of parenting. People are raising their children with the belief that we need to be friends with our children. Kids have too much power and call too many of the shots, telling their parents what they will and won’t do.”
And Baldwin blames the economy and other social issues for the way parents have gone soft: “People are working hard to make money and manage their feelings about what the country’s going through. We live in stressful times.”
“People come home, walk up the driveway, put the key in the door, and they can’t do another hard job. Parenting your children effectively is a tough job.”
This book is so going to be Family Ties meets Machiavelli. Most parents forget that after you walk up the driveway and put the key in the door, you should immediately begin telling your 11-year-old she lacks “the brains or the decency as a human being” and she’s “a rude, thoughtless little pig.” Because there’s no middle ground between being your kid’s best friend and giving them good reason to despise the very sight of you.
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Maybe it’s April 1st on Baldwin’s home planet?
This would be the most hypocritical story of the day, perhaps the week, if not for the fact that Perez Hilton just called Will.I.Am a faggot, who in turn had his manager punch him in the face. It’s a great day for America.
Well, they can say that to each other.
Baldwin certainly doesn’t suffer from “trying to be his kid’s friend”. My friends aren’t allowed to call ME a “rude, thoughtless little pig”. Not to my face.
What next? A chronology of the Holocaust by Mahmoud Ahmadinajad, with a forward written by David Irving?
And behold, the 6th seal was broken, and the sky turned as black as sack cloth.
Or something like that.
Chapter 3. “Straightening out the Asses of Your Thoughtless Little Pig”
The epitome of irony.
With this piece of gold, Jon and Kate, Perez v. Will.I.Am AND the Chris Brown “trial” (using it very loosely)….the aspiring blogger part of me is not sure whether to explode in chaos or have a complete orgasm at these stories.
And it’s only Monday night…hoo boy.
Wow what’s next? A thoughtful, introspective guide by Michael Vick on the care and raising of dogs? Cause he knows how to now, you see, after making so many mistakes.
Chapter 4 in Baldwin’s little tome: “Blaming Your Thoughtless Pain in the Ass Ex For Your Child’s Shortcomings”.
Chapter 5: “Making Long-Distance Threats”.
Chapter 6: “Blaming Your Thoughtless Pain in the Ass Ex For ‘Leaking’ Your Long-Distance Threats to the Press, Because That $hit Should Stay Private”.
I’m reserving my copy today.
May I say, “Bwahahahahahahahahahhaaaa!”? To both Baldwin’s book, and your hilarious comments!
I really thought that he was kidding when he talked about this on The View a while back. Wow.
I think we should all send Baldwin a big batch of ass-shaped cookies for demonstrating the principle of utter self-unawareness. He couldn’t have less of a sense of irony if he were Perez Hilton, and that’s saying it all.
Hey, speaking of, maybe we can get a deal if we buy those ass-shaped cookies in bulk. I’ve got a Sam’s Club membership, y’all.
To be fair, maybe the book will be titled “Do The Exact Opposite of What I Do: A Practical Guide to Raising Your Own Little Pig.”
I can not imagine (well, maybe I can) what it is like to have so much money (not saying there’s anything wrong with having a lot, honest) that you can pretty much do anything you want, when you want, and say pretty much anything at anytime. You can buy just about anything, travel when you want to, etc. It gives you a very big rush of power. It makes it so much easier to also say anything, i.e., let your tongue say all sorts of crap. With that in mind, it’s easy to see how the Hollywood types get visions of grandeur. Defending him? Well…, just trying to find a reason for his actions. Some people can’t control all that power. He’s got one thing right, “Parenting your children effectively is a tough job.” Maybe he’ll learn something (I know, that glass is always 4/5 full).
I have a 32-yr-old daughter in LaGrange, GA, who’s trying to get her life together. She needs all the encouragement she can get, so I need to have that positive outlook on life for her sake.
Beige, I didn’t know Albany had a Sam’s club. I recalled you once said you lived in SouthWest GA, and how much you enjoyed it – just knowing that much, I’m sorry…I feel your pain.
LOL good god.. and i am not following the whole perez will.i.am. bullcrap. can someone bring me up to date? i don’t want to go to perez’ site. he makes me sick.
Next up – John Edwards writes about commitment and Kate writes about how to love your children, while exploiting them at the same time.
Katie,
I read about it in Drudge report, so I did not have to go to his site. He Twittered that he needed to be taken to the hospital instead of just doing it. Talk about Drama Queen. Something about BEP’s guy beating him up after Perez called him a fag? Yeah, I know. Crazy stuff.
Hey, Les, and thanks for the condolences.
I got the giggles when I saw that Perez had Twitted (Tweeted? Twote? Twatted?) that he just could not BELIEVE how many people said he deserved to get hit. Was he truly unaware that a vast swath of the population thinks he’s an afterbirth on legs? And does he sincerely think that the reason people think that is because (GASP) he’s gay? Dude. Straight people who act like he does need to get punched, too.
I’ve referred to this before, but there’s a series of essays at TomatoNation.com, titled the “Girl’s Bike Club”, about celebs who just lose the plot (think Hasselhoff, the two Coreys, etc.). The premise is that at some point, a celebrity becomes wealthy enough and sufficiently insulated from reality, that he can simply fire and replace anyone who tells him anything he doesn’t like. (Prime example: Elvis’s Memphis Mafia, who pretty much let him circle the drain for years because he bought them stuff and could easily find other people to buy stuff for.)
Baldwin? Seems to suffer from Choking Redfaced Rage Syndrome, and can apparently afford to replace anyone who mentions it faster than you can say “anger management training”.
People have been treating the kids as their friends since at least the 60’s. It was the hippy thing to do and the trend has continued. It has been this way through bad economies and good.
Must be nice to be a star. Just say the dumbest f***ing things and know that nobody will have the intellect to question you.
Perez getting punched in the head.
http://images.quickblogcast.com/8/4/6/7/5/167499-157648/DrinkTheGlitterPEREZ.jpg
Huh. That shot actually makes it look more like he’s just really, really into karaoke. And that he’s the only one hearing the music.
Too bad Pappa Baldwin’s not a member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Daughters.
Maybe it’s a book on what NOT to do!
Alec Baldwin isn’t a terrible person, but he should in no way be writing a parenting book. Doesn’t seem to be his area of expertise.
AAW – he twittered (is that the correct word?) that he needed to go to a hospital instead of.. you know.. calling 911 or something? or going to one? omg. watch this whole thing just be a big publicity stunt.