Listen up, Heidi “I Want More Privacy” Pratt. There’s an investment opportunity I want you to hear about. You’ll want in on this too, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. As will anyone with the last name of Spelling, Lohan, or Gosselin.
This ingenious little invention is just the thing for those celebrities who always claim the paps are such a nuisance:
New York University graduate student Adam Harvey recently invented a smart alternative for camera-shy celebrities, one that won’t tarnish their public image or end in an assault charge. His “anti-paparazzi device,” which is built into a clutch purse, uses a photo cell that picks up a photographer’s flash and communicates with a circuitboard, which then fires LED lights that flash back at paparazzi, ruining their photos. …
Although Harvey began developing the device for his class, he wasn’t able to perfect it, and since last fall he has continued to refine the design. Currently the wiring and batteries fit in a ladies’ clutch, but he hopes to continue reducing the size of the device to the point that it could be worn in something as small as a pendant or tie tack. In its current form the device is activated by powering it on and then tilting the clutch. The sensor will register a flash being fired from up to a 45 degree angle each way.
I expect it to sell by the dozen and hear a lot less collective whining about privacy, and if it doesn’t or I don’t — I’m calling each and every one of those famewhores out for maybe not really minding the attention so much after all.
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It really is an ingenious idea. I think it would be better though if instead of using a sensor to fire off a bright LED light, it fired off a holographic image of a coked-up Tara Reid. That way everyone wins!
Damn. Why am I never smart enough to invent the good things that make millions? He should work it to where it can be used as an advertising device. Instead of just flashing white, it can flash the Deceiver logo and address!
They also came up with this other invention-it’s called a convection oven. It’s small enough to fit in your kitchen. It’s frikkin amazing.
Yay! Now it will be blindingly obvious, which celebrities are protesting too much.
This will probably result in some really gross point-blank up-the-nostril shots of Michael Lohan and Kate Gosselin, as they elbow each other out of the way, while actual talent flashes LED lights behind them.
Your forgetting the Anti-paparazzi glasses that were invented a little while ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaIIswjQ8OA&feature=channel
Jon Gosselin has the right idea. Just wear the same brand everyday, essentially contract to be an advertising billboard, and use the paparazzi to make lemonade.
I’m bettin’ LiLo will be the first to sue the manufacturer after burning her own retinas.
“Well you see Judge, I was digging around in the bottom of my purse for my other coke vial when my blinking rave necklace triggered the anti-paparazzi flash and I’ve been seeing spots ever since…”
No, it’ll be the paparazzi that will sue, claiming “interruption of business”.
Minnow
Tonight on TMZ they showed Lindsey locked out of her house. She called a locksmith and while he was working her friend busted out a window.
So naturally she figured that she didn’t have to pay the guy even though he had to come out in the middle of the night. She even tried to get the paparazzi to tell the guy to leave.
What a low class piece of trash. If I was a server in a restaurant in LA I would refuse to wait on her.
I was a locksmith for years. People that called after 10 pm, were charged $75 (to start) to their credit card before I would even consider leaving the house for exactly that reason. Except for night shift people who are actually working, the only people that would call you after midnight probably deserved to be locked out anyway.
Be nice to the plumbers, HVAC and tow truck guys, locksmiths, etc. They are mostly independent, and generally decide what to charge you, and if they’re gonna help you at all. I’ve left nasty, a**holes standing next to a locked door in -2 weather and didn’t lose a seconds worth of sleep over it.