05
Aug
09

PETA: People Espousing Tot Abuse

If you have kids, or were a kid at some point in the last 30 years, you know that children love Happy Meals. Getting a kid to eat his dinner is tough, but you throw in a toy and put it in a brightly colored box and the little guys gobble it right up. Sure, it’s not the healthiest thing you can feed them, but once in a while it can’t hurt. No harm in letting them have some fun.

That is, unless you live in Albany, NY. According to local news station WRGB:

Activist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) will hand out “Unhappy Meals” to children at an Albany McDonald’s restaurant today to protest alleged chicken abuse, according to a statement this morning by PETA.

PETA alleges that McDonald’s allows its chicken suppliers to abuse the animals before they are slaughtered for food. The organization advocates “controlled-atmosphere killing,” a method that promotes animal welfare.

Children who buy meals at the McDonald’s at 391 Central Ave. today beginning at noon will encounter PETA staff, headed by an activist in a chicken costume.

The “Unhappy Meal” that PETA will give to children — a spoof of a Happy Meal — will include a “menacing, knife-wielding” Ronald McDonald cutout, a ketchup packet disguised as chicken blood, a plastic chicken covered in “blood” and a “McCruelty” t-shirt.

So, to protest this supposed “chicken abuse,” PETA is willing to emotionally abuse young children. Yeah, why not give other people’s kids nightmares? Makes about as much sense as anything else Ingrid & Co. ever get up to.

If you live in the neighborhood and you see some idiot dressed up like a chicken, I certainly wouldn’t condone testing how well the costume protects his nuggets. Do not, I repeat, do not see how fast somebody can run while wearing a goofy headpiece. That would be wrong.

And whatever you do, don’t bring up the dumpster behind the Piggly Wiggly.

(Hat tip to Deceiver reader CheshireKat)

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36 Responses to “PETA: People Espousing Tot Abuse”


  1. 1 Scott F. Aug 5th, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    It would sure be a learning experience for my three year old if they ever tried that crap in front of her.

    “See honey, when beating a hippie in a chicken costume, it’s much easier if you remove the foam head BEFORE pummeling them into unconsciousness.”

    Or better yet, if they accost you in the drive through, it’s a perfect opportunity to teach your children about caring for others.

    “Now sweetheart, as much as we might want to, we don’t back up and run them over again – their brittle vegan bones just couldn’t take it. That’s what we call compassion.”

  2. 2 Peg Aug 5th, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Dear Scott F,

    You summed up my feelings in a much nicer and more concise way than my sleep deprived brain ever could have.

  3. 3 Grizgrin Aug 5th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    You know, I recall a scene from a Guy RItchie Film (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels???) where Vinnie Jones is playing a character (as he does), gets into his car and sees a guy in the backseeat hold a weapon on Jones’ characters kid, a small tot. Jones starts the car and crashes it into a phone pole, gets out and grabs the stunned would-be kiddie killer, drags him to the drivers side door and proceeds to repeatedly slam the door onto the idiots head. Good times, good times…

  4. 4 TheRose Aug 5th, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    They’re joking, right? No wait, my mistake. PeTA really is that stupid.

    The only thing that’s going to come out of this is the Chicken will get the tenders beaten out of him and little boys will go after their sisters with the “blood”. Oh yeah, I smell a lawsuit in the air!

  5. 5 Shikatehead Aug 6th, 2009 at 12:50 am

    After seeing that picture of Ingrid, I want to do anything BUT abuse my chicken.

  6. 6 The Irish Aug 6th, 2009 at 1:51 am

    I can only imagine that this little protest ended in a scene similar to one of the “Peter vs. Giant Chicken” fights from Family Guy.

  7. 7 Sue Aug 6th, 2009 at 4:00 am

    Didn’t Ingrid have herself sterilised? Thank goodness, she’d be a terrible mother. She’d probably save a drowning rat before she saved a drowning baby!

  8. 8 Scott F. Aug 6th, 2009 at 4:19 am

    “Didn’t Ingrid have herself sterilised? Thank goodness, she’d be a terrible mother.”

    With a face like that, I’d say sterilization was terribly redundant.

  9. 9 Beige Aug 6th, 2009 at 7:57 am

    @Shikatehead: THANKS SO VERY AWFULLY MUCH for putting me through the cliched experience of spewing coffee on my monitor.

    That was hilarious! :)

  10. 10 Ln Aug 6th, 2009 at 8:54 am

    I never thought PeTa could really be that stupid, ignorant, and crazy but I guess I really misjudged them.

    Scott – what self controll you show. In our situation it would have been more like “Now sweetheart, make sure you run over the legs first, then go back for the torso. The final run over will be the most important, because we will put the business card of the local slaughter house on their shirt so they can call them and have the sluaghter house finish the job.”

  11. 11 Fortunate_Son Aug 6th, 2009 at 10:31 am

    As we speak, Rielle Hunter is testifying in John Edwards’ federal grand jury investigation.

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i2U8VKE_8nwXqaNK23AkxVqnSPsQD99TD9GG0

  12. 12 Minnow Aug 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Ingrid may have a point about Mc the Knife’s propensity for animal cruelty.

    I’ve been wondering what ever happened to those cute little googlie-eyed Fry Guys. Haven’t seen ‘em in years…

  13. 13 Swede0319 Aug 6th, 2009 at 10:48 am

    I seem to remember Pasta saying awhile back that “This is the closest that Ingrid has been to a cock in a long time.” Or something like that.
    If I had a kid, and some idiot tried to hand my kid that stuff, the phrase “Let’s get ready to rumble” comes to mind with violent actions to follow shortly after.
    I think I’m going to change my Chris Brown target practice to any Petard that I happen to see. Especially since CB is going to to community service in Virginia.

  14. 14 Angry Army Wife Aug 6th, 2009 at 10:49 am

    PETA is handing kids what? Seriously? How can they still be in operation. Kids have nothing to do with it. Why can’t we claim child abuse and get them all throwm in the slammer

  15. 15 Meg 2.0 Aug 6th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Now PeTA is going into creppy children luring cult territory.

    It’s times like these I wish I lived back up north and still had my Mo Vaughn autographed bat. Sigh, if only…

  16. 16 Meg 2.0 Aug 6th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    And by creppy, I meant creepy.

    If I had a child, I would let him/her go Bjork on these Petards.

  17. 17 Ln Aug 6th, 2009 at 11:53 am

    Are they really going to do this? Has anyone been able to confirm Peta’s actions? I would love to see a video.

  18. 18 Angry Army Wife Aug 6th, 2009 at 11:59 am

    This would be a good time to teach your children that it is not nice to call people names or hit them , except for times like these

  19. 19 Shikatehead Aug 6th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    @Beige: My pleasure, Beige! :D

  20. 20 MC Mom Aug 6th, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Scott F and shikatehead, you are the wind beneath my wings today.

    And I guess to PETA, it’s not “controlled-atmosphere killing” unless it involves dumpsters.

  21. 21 Jannah Aug 6th, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    I surely hope that someone will sue them for attempting to give kids such unsolicited gruesome visual trauma, yuck.

    PETA is now as obnoxious as the phony windshield-washer guys who assault your car by spitting on your window so they can wash it and charge you. What creeps.

  22. 22 Fortunate_Son Aug 6th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Wow, read that article about PETA dumping the “adopted pets” in the Piggly Wiggly dumpster.

    http://deceiver.com/2009/07/27/only-one-person-could-make-you-feel-sympathy-for-michael-vick/

    That’s really chilling. Not sure why Adria Hinckle didn’t get convicted of more serious offenses.

  23. 23 California Dave Aug 6th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    A thought occurs to me…

    If they get sued for child abuse, PeTA has enough high-powered lawyers and enough money to drag it out in the courts for a long time.

    Want to bet the parents who take their kids to McDonald’s in Albany don’t have matching resources?

    Then again, the parents may find a lawyer willing to work on a contingency fee or (better) pro bono

  24. 24 Beige Aug 6th, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    My kids have already been taught that strangers who accost you, let alone try to touch you or make you take something, are fair game. For whatever comes to mind.

  25. 25 Freak Show Aug 6th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    If ETHICAL treatment is to euthanize pets, then how about somebody start treating PETA ethically?

    There’s room in the dumpster behind Piggly Wiggly. It gets emptied weekly.

  26. 26 AllyKat Aug 6th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Chris Brown is doing community service in Virginia?? Maybe I can let off some steam with some of the leftovers in my fridge…

    I’m pretty sure no one would convict me. Or arrest me, for that matter. :)

  27. 27 Swede0319 Aug 7th, 2009 at 11:23 am

    I think it was on Fox News the other day AllyKat. Remember, when launching an attack, your aim will be off apprixmately 20 degrees if you launch from inside the car. Velocity will be down 10-30% if you launch from outside the car. Good hunting.
    ** Yes, I’ve practiced. **

  28. 28 Fgsfgd Aug 7th, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    OMYGOSH!11!!!!1
    Would someone PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!!!11!!
    We want them fat, NOT emotionally scarred by PeTA!!!
    Destroy PeTa for the sake of our obese and emotionally sheltered kids!!!11!!

  29. 29 Simon Scowl Aug 8th, 2009 at 2:32 am

    OMYGOSH!11!!!!1
    Would someone PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!!!11!!
    We want them fat, NOT emotionally scarred by PeTA!!!
    Destroy PeTa for the sake of our obese and emotionally sheltered kids!!!11!!

    Here, class, we see the deleterious mental effects of a diet lacking in animal protein.

  30. 30 Patrick of Atlantis Aug 8th, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    I could swear I saw that woman and that chicken at a cockfight.

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