A guy you’d forgotten about gets in a slapfight with a guy who should probably be forgotten about. According to Gatecrasher:
Backstage at Alexa Chung’s MTV talk show on Thursday, “Entourage” star Jeremy Piven got into a screaming match with fellow comic Chris Kattan…
Kattan — who’s been in town talking up his IFC miniseries “Bollywood Hero” — greeted Piven with a snarky, “So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?”
Piven, who famously dropped out of “Speed the Plow” in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract…
The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” — a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character…
Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man — I thought we were just fooling around here.’”
Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”
1) Yes you are, and 2) Yes it is.
Piven is well-known as the King of the Comebacks. Remember that scene in The Terminator where the guy is pounding on Arnold’s door, and his computer brain gives him an onscreen list of possible responses? Here are some of the other retorts Piven could have shot back with:
- “Why don’t you take a long walk off a short pier, Corky Romano?”
- “What’s that? I can’t understand you when you’re bobbing your head like that, Roxbury Guy!”
- “Seen any Will Ferrell movies lately? Everybody else has!” (That’s actually kind of a good one.)
- “Sorry, I don’t have any apples, Mr. Peepers!”
- “Oh yeah? Well, you’re a stinky stinkface who stinks!”
This is almost as good as the time Piven got into a catfight with Stephen Dorff over cutsies in a line for a nightclub bathroom. You know who else needs to be taken down a peg, Piven? Gary Coleman. Show him whatchu talkin’ ’bout!
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* Oh Yeah, at least I can photoshop my pecs to make them look bigger that yours! LOSER!
I would PAY Mary-Kate and Ashley to throw Jers a crisp beating. Come on, girls! Think of the eyeliner you could buy!
Losing a battle of wits to Chris Kattan . . . . . that has really got to sting.
Here’s the real question: which guy is forgotten and which should be forgotten?
You can tell I don’t watch HBO. Or IFC.
I thought that Chris Kattan’s last marraige lasted about as long as Piven’s Broadway career.
Cripple fight! Cripple fight!
I always thought Mango and Mr. Peepers were pretty funny. I’m also a fan of both Oscar Wilde and Beavis and Butthead, so I’m not exactly a paragon of good taste in humor. But I’ll take Chris Kattan over Smug Touchy Douchebag any day, if only because just seeing S.T.D.’s facial expression makes me want to break his face, or at least humiliate him until he cries.
Anna, you could always tease him with sushi. I’ve heard he has a problem in that area.